How will i know if my child has SN/autism?

[mosschops30]

Dc3 is 2.1 and still not talking, he has seen the speech therapist who didnt seem too worried but hes still not saying anything other than 'yep'!
He understands everything we say to him, plays nicely with others, shares toys (except with his brother and sister ).

His godfather teaches SN and said that children with autism like order and run round in circles.
Im jow paranoid when he runs round the living room, but surely most children do this? He does like lining things up, but hes not obsessive about it.

Can anyone give me any advice? TIA

His godfather is giving you a sweeping generalization that is not helpful.
My ds never ran around, still doesn't. And does not especially like order.

Fwiw my sons speech delay is probably more of a problem to his everyday life than his autism - so I would not have asd down in my mind as the worst scenario. Asd can be very mild.

If the speech therapist is not talking about asd and you have no other concerns then I wouldn't worry.

Writing as a parent with one child with Aspergers, one who probably has high functioning autism (under assessment) and one who is fairly 'normal' but has the odd autistic trait...

Firstly, it is possible to have a speech and language difficulty without being autistic.

However, in terms of order, yes neither of my elder 2 could live without order - they have to cross the road in the same place, walk the same route, eat their food in the same order, read their books in the same order at night, get washed in the bath in the same way each time etc etc
In terms of running around in circles DS1 was a terrible spinner especially when stressed. He would just stand and spin on the spot, not occasionally but if left for ages and ages.
DS2 is not a spinner, he sits and spins the wheels on cars watching them for ages if allowed, but his 'stim' is waving his hands in front of his eyes.
They both love lining things up - but find it very hard to cope if somebody knocks anything out of that line even slightly.

Looking at the differences between DS1/2 and DS3 sometimes DS3 will do any of the things that the elder DS do, but it isn't in the same obsessive way and it certainly isn't in the constant way that they do things.

There are lots more 'subtle' differences for want of a better word, e.g. DS3 (3) if he wants me to look at something he automatically checks I am looking at it and then talks about it. DS1 is 9 and I have just about managed to manually teach him to do this. DS3 will naturally take a kitchen spoon and pretend it is a guitar, I am just about getting there with DS1...

"like order and run round in circles" ha! Well my child with autism does neither ... mutters about people making useless sweeping generalisations especially people who think they are experts. Oh children who are happy, smiley, intelligent, funny, love their siblings & parents, are kind to animals, don't have huge temper tantrums or behavioural issues, are concerned about other people (empathetic), share nicely, are polite & laugh a lot (i.e. my ds and thousands of other children) can be autistic too. And I'm sure there are billions of other bullshit 'children with autism do/are .... ' myths around too.

My son was diagnosed at three, he had a very severe SAL delay (both expressive & receptive) but other impairments were more subtle - he never lined things up/rocked/turned lights on & off/obsessed over spinning things. He lost words at 18 months which is a huge big deal, he didn't respond to his name (red flag), he pointed & waved very late (2-2.5). Compared to his nt siblings he's more self directed, he becomes extremely absorbed in a preferred activity. He has issues about control which manifest in a restricted diet & toileting problems. He has very little interest in stories - prefers non fiction. He learns things very quickly but often has no interest in demonstrating those skills more than once. He doesn't really care much about fitting in. His imitation skills were much weaker as a toddler & young child (though not absent) than his siblings - most of the developmental skills are there but impaired or delayed. He has major sleep disturbances & 'autistic' absences that might be absence seizures. He has had many phobias - mirrors, singing, hats, the colour red - and can be anxious. He doesn't have rigidity in any area except diet and no need for order or routine. He also doesn't have any hypersensitivities.

He also has significant dyspraxia - he has lots of fine motor issues, can't dress himself, very wobbly gait, falls often etc - they didn't become apparent until he was much older.

People with autism are individuals - I don't think a diagnosis tells you much about that individual - I address the needs and don't worry too much about the name.

Thank you all, its good to hear such varied stories.

charc i didnt mean to offend you in any way, i certainly didnt mean that all SN children have behavioural issues and dont share, i was just outlining was ds2 does do.

He responds to his name though (is this a good sign?), he anticipates things like getting your car keys when you say youre going out, getting your towel when you turn the shower off, gets your slippers when you come in! Hes very sociable, laughs a lot, chatters endlessly but its all nonsense.

have you seen the m-chat test? My ds failed at 18 months but my nt children passed by 15 months - I think it is a reasonably good screening test for you children.

Oh & ds is incredibly imaginative & plays the most amazing games - that skill developed with his language. When he was two & had no language at all he had very delayed play skills - just cause/effect toys really.

no moss - sorry I was snappy - it wasn't aimed at you just people who have met one child with autism & therefore think they can extend their generalisations to all. It gets tiring after a while saying 'yes some children with autism do X, but actually mine doesn't - please consider him as an individual'

I think one thing to be aware of with children with SAL delays is that they are very good at disguising their deficits with other skills (picking up visual clues).

he sounds lovely btw :)

My DS is autistic spectrum (high functioning) and he spoke ridiculously early, so speech delay wouldn't necessarily mean autism. My DS also never ran around in circles and is not particularly "order" obsessed. He has other ASD traits.
I'm sure you probably know this, but Autism is a collection or spectrum of traits. They tend to be different in each individual that is diagnosed with ASD, although obviously there will be areas of overlap.
If you are worried, keep pushing for assessments. Have you had your DC's hearing tested? Sometimes children have minor hearing problems that delay speech. If the only thing that is of concern is his speech, it could be that he is just one of life's late talkers. I hope that is all that it is.

ds2 and ds3 were both saying virtually nothing at 2.
ds2 had glue ear and hearing loss
ds3 was just a bit of a late starter

ds1 on the other hand was beginning to string his many words together by 2. He has autism.

Thank you again, some great insights here. Will have a look at that test, can you do it online?
He has had his hearing tested and it was fine

Just done the mchat online. He passed with flying colours but im sure there are lots of children who have flown through that but still have autistic tendencies

Here's an answer from someone who knows:

"By 18 months a child should be warmly engaged and capable of initiative and two-way communication. She should also be able to use complex gestures to communicate what she wants - taking her mother's hand and leading her to the door or toy chest, or pointing, for example. Without the use of words, she should be communicating with her parents, clearly understanding much of what they say to her, and communicating many of her own wishes back. If by 18 months the child can do these things, her gestural communicaction is developing on track and the building blocks of symbolic expression and langauge are present. .......The child who has a circumscribed language problem that will take care of itself will be mastering these preverbal gestural communication patterns."

["The Child with Special Needs", Greenspan, page 386]

To check understanding, try saying a few instructions out of context (be brutal - it's so easy to think they understand more than they do).
Check for things like being able to blow out candles in case there is an expressive speech problem.

So sons were both loving and interactive and joyful and spontaneous at this age but DS1 knew how to show me what he wanted whereas DS2 just got frustrated because he couldn't "show" me, he could only imitate. He's fine now, but it took a lot of work.

My dd had very very few words at 2.1 (3 perhaps) had passed her hearing tests just fine. Understood what was said, played imaginative games etc.

Turned out her hearing wasn't okay (is now) also she could play easily and happily with other or my herself, also in her mind her babbling was the "correct" speech and it wasn't until she was older that she understood what she was saying was actually different to how we said it if that makes sense.

She was pretty much unintelligible until she was 4 - after we had sorted out her hearing and worked with her speech.

look up the national autistic society web site. they have a section that may interest you

www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/autism-and-asperger-syndrome-an-introduction/what-is-autism.aspx

difficulty with social communication
difficulty with social interaction
difficulty with social imagination.

Both my dds have autism. Both like order and control. Dd2 loves to spin, hand flap, toe walk and line things up. She lost speech about 18 months and still hard to understand now at 4. Dd1 likes things in orders, never runs in circles. She could hold a full adult conversation at 2! They are all different.
You LO sounds delightful and from all you have written it doesn't raise reg flags for me. Speech therapist are normally pretty good at picking up Asd in my experience.