Veryy fussy toddler - when should I worry?

[lisbapalea]

Hi there,

Feel like I need some help as was awake last night worrying about how much I have messed up weaning my girl. My DD (now 21months) has always been quite tricky with food but now that she's getting older I am starting to worry I am going to end up with one of those children who won't eat anything other than baked beans!

Breakfasts are usually OK (some cereal and some toast), lunch is very iffy - have just discovered she will eat cheese on toast, and also likes marmite sandiwches but she tends not to eat very much of any of them. In terms of dinner, she won't eat anything 'wet'! So she won't eat anything like fish pie / shepherds pie, spag bol, or in fact any pasta, or anything with mash. Her dream dinner is fishfingers and baked beans. I have witnessed her eating roast chicken but only once or twice!

I always used to be really into food and cooking but her refusal to eat any of my home made food has made me completely lose my confidence in what to offer her. I do give her the fishfingers and beans option at least once a week so that I know she gets at least one meal down her.

She's always been a lean little thing - was always on the 25th centile, but haven't had her checked since January at her 10mth check! She's bright and sparky and is certainly growing taller and needs new shoes, but she's not got any podginess.

So should I keep offering her meals, and watching her cry and refuse them? And if she refuses her dinner should I refuse to give her pudding? I am always tempted to give her a yogurt so she at least gets some calories into her!

Any advice please?!

Hi, my DD (2.2) is the similar. She will eat wet food - but just not much of anything. Fishfingers is a favourite, will sometimes eat pasta and pesto or spag bol type sauce but will only have one oatibix for breakfast and lunch for ages has been breadsticks and hummous. Very frustrating but i try not to show it. I just keep trying new things and have the favourites in reserve. I always give yogurt for pudding whether she's had a main meal or not as I don't want her to wake up hungry at some ungodly hour. She also really wouldn't get why i was refusing it - and I don't want mealtimes to be a battlefield. No advice really i'm afraid - but i hope they will just grow out of it if it's kept low key and they see others around them enjoying food.

Thanks constant craving - good to know I'm not alone! Does your DD eat 'treat' foods? Mine is always keen for pudding or cake or biscuits (which I assume is normal toddler behaviour!), but when I do give those, she doesn't even always eat it all.

Both me and her Dad have huge, greedy appetites for all sorts of food (in fact we both need to lose a few pounds), so I am staggered that I have ended up with a willowy girl with the appetite of a bird!

We've avoided treats to a large extent - and she's never had sweets, but she does like teacakes / scones and croissants .. but again doesn't ear alot of them either. She seems to be able to survive on thin air . We are veggie and I've started to give a vitamin/iron supplement as a bit worried that she's just not getting enough of a balance. She had her two year check and the HV said she was fine and just to roll with it for now.

25th percentile is very normal - mine is just under the bottom percentile and perfectly healthy. I think you worry too much about her weight - really I do. Just keep trying her with different thing but don't make things into a big show down. Eat and chat about anything but don't nag her into eating.

OK here goes

1. Don't give treats if she refuses to try some.
2. Offer what you are having and if she leaves it make it clear that she can but she gets nothing else until the next meal/snack 3)make all snacks healthy i.e. fruit, carrot sticks, breadsticks, crumpet etc.
3. No sweets, crisps etc.
4. Lots of praise for trying some.
5. Worry if her weight becomes 2 centiles below her birth centile. By giving yoghurts she realises that she gets something she wants without effort and has no reason to change, if she only gets yoghurt once she eats her meal then she is more likely to eat it.
6. If she tantrums remove and time out until it stops or put to bed! i.e. remove the attention for bad behaviour. At this age it can be a control issue. My dd2 became fussy and this approach cured it. I also had a fussy CM dc who it cured (and incidentally her brother because mum used the same approach at home, which shows that consistency works). HTH

They have little stomachs at that age and don't need to eat that much. Robyn barker (the mighty toddler) says toddlers will often only eat one decent meal every three days. Also the disgust at wet food is very common. If you don't force the issue she will probably grow out of it. My ds was very picky and at 5 he is now starting to experiment. He asked to try some of my lentil and mushroom soup yesterday, which I thought was a huge step forward.

I think the trick is not too put too much effort into toddler food (so you don't get annoyed) , don't be too pushy (I think if children are forced to eat food that disgusts them then the disgust continues longer than is developmentally normal) but keep a range of food around, so they know there is more to life then (in our case) separate piles of plain chicken, dry pasta and corn/peas/carrots.