Boisterous and loud boys perceived as naughty children

[chocolatchaud]

I am feeling really down at the moment, regarding other people's perceptions of my children.

I have 3 DSs and 1 DD, all under 10. The boys are all very phsyical, full of beans, and particularly when together, loud and a bit wild. They are not unkind to other children, just incredibly boisterous.

The teachers at school say they are well-mannered, polite, kind, well-behaved etc, but I just KNOW that other parents judge me and think they are out of control. They come tearing out of school and start playing how brothers play, or if we are with friends, they just seem to fill wherever we are!

Any strategies? Is it just having a large family, or do I need to clamp down?

Sounds just like mine (6.5). I have had several conversations with him explaining to him that he really needs to be careful not to follow other children's lead into doing things that he really knows he shouldn't do - because he will get picked out as the ringleader just because he's big and loud and very physical. I've explained to him also that I know its not fair, but its one of those things that he'll have to get used to just because he is him (and that I wouldn't want him to change that )

4 boys here and yes it can be like that! as long as they dont get physical to the point of hurting each other i let them get on with it!

I have no idea whether or not you need to clamp down. Yes, boys can be boisterous and noisy (and so can girls). They can be ill-disciplined and out of control, too. I have no idea which best describes your boys, but the fact that their teachers say they're well-behaved surely should give you confidence? Why are you so sure other people judge you? What do they say?

I think if you are so concerned about others' views that there is possibly a problem. Your boys may not be naughty, but when you say 'they just seem to fill wherever we are' that implies that perhaps other people don't get to fill that space themselves. Maybe the older ones are ready to learn that lots of noise and movement isn't always nice for other people to be around, and that they need to learn to temper their energies in some contexts?

they are sure to be different when they are in schol, since they will be in different classes, and it will be a structured environment with rules and conventions.

yes my strategy is to stop giving a shit what other parents think

hve confidence in your own parenting skills - stop seeking approval from others and adopt a fuck em attitude

i have to say i do let my boys get on with it BUT there are rules ie running aroudn and being really loud and boisterous is for OUTSIDE adn if we are at a park etc then they MUST be careful of other children,, particularly little ones, tho as they have younger siblings that not an issue they are very good with little ones :)

its def about context.

As long as boisterous doesn't mean pushing other kids about then I don't think you should worry about what other parents think. I only have one, very loud, boy so can only imagine the noise in your house :)

Thank you everyone.

I have an idea of what other people think, but I am prone to being a little paranoid. Those with boisterous boys understand, those with quiet boys or girls, not so much! I wish I could ignore other people, but I don't want the boys to miss out on going to friends' houses or parties.

I think I will try to tackle the rushing around and 'filling the space' first.