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My burly 2 and 3/4 year old son plays too rough, any advice?

3 replies

megany1 · 20/12/2011 20:34

My son, who is very affectionate and clever has a worrying tendency to play too roughly with other children, with pushing, shoving, punching and throwing all routinely being an issue. He has no issues with empathy and understands about owies and is always the first to rush over to another child if they are hurt or crying to try and kiss or hug them. However he just plays too rough especially when he gets too excited, or tired, or both; time outs and being told not to don't appear to be helping much.

He is a particularly solid boy for his age and more than capable of ko'ing kids his own age, and even those a great deal older - he gave his 11 year old cousin a bloody nose rough housing with her a few weeks ago.

I don't know where, or even if he has "learnt" this behaviour, he is an only child, bar a very small new baby sister whom he adores, and his nursery certainly discourage rough play.

Has anyone got sensible advice on how I can curb this tendency? I don't want him to be excluded from anything for getting a reputation for being too rough.

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thisisyesterday · 21/12/2011 20:19

a lot of children go through this, it's really very common,

unfortunately, if you have a big child then it's going to be worse for the kids he chooses to be rough with, but he doesn't mean to hurt people...

the key, IMO, is to watch him like a hawk. try and prevent anything that triggers the behaviour, if he's playing with other children then stay close by and if you see him about to clobber someone then remove him and say "no" very firmly.

he'll get past it. but you must be consisted with removing him and telling him no

curlytoes · 21/12/2011 20:35

I am watching this thread with interest as I have a 3 year old DS who is v similar. He also has a heart of gold as is v quick to give cuddles, share toys or sweets and to apologise when he's done wrong. Sadly he is also an extremely solid boy who acts like a human pinball on redbull a lot of the time. He doesn't seem to mind being on the receiving end of rough play either and rarely whines about being hurt. We are constantly laying out for him the behaviour we expect in different situations, praising him if he manages it and pulling him up for time out/ apologies when he's too rough. It's a tiring job especially as he has two siblings to watch too. No matter what I do he doesn't really change it just seems to be damage limitation! I'm hoping persistence and age will eventually help but any other advice would be great.

skybluepearl · 22/12/2011 23:56

My kid is always the one getting hurt by the burly child. As long as you are doing time outs and trying to keep him in check, then thats fine - even though it may not work sometimes. What I struggle with is parents who provide no boundaries for thier kids and let them hurt others.

Have you tried stickers and rewards?

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