So tired. I think I broke her good routine...

[1Catherine1]

Have barely slept now for over 2 weeks. Thankfully am on holiday this week as last week while I was working I couldn't even catch up on my sleep during the day.

DD is 9 months old (nearly) and the only way I can get her to sleep is to be with her. She has been co-sleeping for the last week so that I at least get some sleep but I don't sleep well co-sleeping and wake up achey and still tired. I have heard this is a sleep regression but anyone know when this will end? I'm not able to get anything done, have fallen massively behind on my work as I can't leave her even after she is supposed to have gone to bed. My house is a mess as I usually clean when she is in bed but instead I end up lay there with her afraid to move in case I wake her. Everytime I put her to bed she wakes up immediately.

I'm just moaning really as my OH is useless and just replies telling me she is the same in the day so he can't do anything either when I'm at work. Not really the same as at least he gets to sleep at nighttime. Wondering though... am I making a rod for my own back by allowing her to co-sleep? She obviously prefers it but I can't do it long term. It is too much.

I better get her. She is crying in her cot. Not hysterically - just moaning and shouting because I have left her there. I hoped she would go to sleep if I left the room.

Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time... I found those sleep regressions pretty difficult, so feel for you. If he's working on a new skill - walking maybe, it could take a little while longer yet. Basically her brain is still active and not allowing her body to rest up. I hope someone else can give you some ideas of things to try, in my case I just went with the flow until it straightened itself out, but it is really hard...

As far as making a rod etc goes, don't worry about it; it's nothing that can't be sorted later. DS was in with me until about 17 months when he finally started sleeping through on his own, and it was relatively painless making the transition to his cot. Just do whatever you need to to make it as easy on yourself as you can at the moment.

It should calm down after she hits the developmental leap which is at roughly 37 weeks after the EDD (not birth date). At the moment her brain is working overtime on this leap (which allows her to start to group objects into categories - e.g. to learn that bananas, fish & apples are all 'food').

Being affected in the daytime and night is totally normal.

I'd do whatever you need to now to get everyone in the house as much sleep as you can get, and worry about changing habits later when things have calmed down again. It was easier for us as co-sleeping works well for me, but DS was waking about 5 times a night at that age.

The 8/9 month regression is often the worst, with mental development, physical development and teething all coming together.

My DS2 age 26 months has never been a great sleeper and I have been co-sleeping with him since he was around 15 months (am hoping to break the habit when we move him into a bed of his own). That works for me because we both get enough sleep, but if you find that you can't sleep well when sharing with your DD I think you need to do something about it. I don't like the phrase 'rod for your own back' but I do think it may not be something she grows out of very soon.

Have you tried the 'gentler' version of controlled crying? Leaving her in her cot and popping back in to shush her every couple of minutes? You'll probably find that the first 2 or 3 nights are hell but it may be worth it in the long run.

Be kind to your OH - he probably is finding her challenging in the day time too. I know you are tired, but I'm not sure it helps to call him useless! He should be doing his fair share at night though - it doesn't seem fair for him to be getting a full night's sleep when you are having such a disturbed night, especially when you are working.

Thank you for your replies, especially mrspepperpotty, I am overly hard on my OH sometimes and it isn't fair to make him deal with her at night time as he doesn't finish work until 12:30am most nights and gets up at 7:30am every morning to take over from me with her. It is just frustrating though as sometimes I just want a bit of sympathy from him.

I'm not really one for controlled crying at all. I only left her the other evening as I was very frustrated and will not hold her when I feel like that. I would rather let her cry for a little while while I vent and then go back to her then let her pick up on my tension.

I think I'll get a bedrail thingy and continue to co-sleep. I was happy to do this at first but then I got a lecture from a well meaning [SAHM] who said I was being inconsistent and causing the problem myself. I suppose with a bedrail I will be less likely to lie there fixed in one position holding onto her all night.

I did exactly the same i never co-slept with my baby till i went back to work. I was so exhausted that i last week put him in my bed so i could at least get a few hours sleep,
However then i realised after a few nights that he was waking up similar times in his own cot to come into our bed,
I decided that i would get him out of the habit quickly and the following night when he woke i refused to put him in my bed and let him cry in his own cot it was awful as no mum wants to here her baby cry but i persisted and so far so good he has slept through the night and i am actually having a decent sleep as i was never able to have a solids night sleep when my baby slept next to me.