25 month old - screaming all day

[tiredbutlearning]

Please can you darling mums on mumsnet share me some wisdom. My daughter is terrible at the moment. Worse than ever before. Anything and everything sets off a full screaming tantrum, high pitched ear pearcing scream - and I am at breaking point. I have had to walk away a few times as I do not like shouting at my child as i dont feel it gets you anywhere.

We are working with the naughty step and for most things its great - however...is there anything i can do for incessant whinging and crying - or is this just the TERRIBLE TWOS!

Could be molars - can be truly awful.

Hi Loopy - i checked her mouth and it appears they have broken through. I just dont know where else to turn. I am so close to breaking point and I dont want to loose at her - as its not really her fault.

Our DD used to do this, in shops, on the bus. It was just a phase she went through, I used to tickle her, it was the only way she stopped and I got the impression people would rather hear a child giggle rather than scream at the top of their voices

I would try chatting to her when she's calm and ask her if her mouth/teeth make her cross etc? If she says yes, then I'm sure it'll be her teeth.

Try comforting her as much as possible and reinforcing that it's her 'naughty teeth' or something. You could carry around a toy/puppet for use in shops when she starts going off on one - perhaps stick a plaster on their face so you can empathise using the toy, saying the toy has sore teeth too etc.

It might work or it might not! worth a try though

I can sometime get her to giggle but its a real sometimes!

I like the idea of the toy and trying to immatate and work out whats going on with DD.

The thing is her speech is that of a 3 year old, so she can talk and makes up injuried - always saying " i fell over" but she didnt.....I am starting to think its an attention seeking device.

I know i tended to her every need as a baby and i am hoping that i havent caused this -a s I am not sure what to do. Its a horrible feeling - i feel like I am failing as a mother. As i cant seem to help/calm her down ever! I just pick her up and continue with life - but my ears and soul are grated and drained!

My DH works so hard and never sees her apart from w/e but then she only wants me as daddy is a comparitive stranger!

It goes deeper - when she is at nursery she doesnt need her dummy but the second she sees me - all she wants is her dummy!

Am i really messing this parenting up?

Could she be tired? I know when DS is being horrible that is usually why! I very much doubt you have caused it. Children always seem to play up more for Mum as far as I know, not sure why that is though.

I sincerely dont think she is tired. She sleeps from 6:30 to 8:30 every night - with one wake - where i put some music on and she drifts back to sleep.

She is on one day time sleep which could be at 10/11 or 1/2 depending on the day we have had - active or tantruming lots then early sleep. and these sleeps last for 1/3 hours.

She does say all day I am tired? and twiddles hers and me ears but if i put her down she screams and says "im wake" " mummy carry Dylie downstairs"......

she prefers to be cuddled and carried then to walk...

am i babying her - but i am just sick of the tears! x

Nooooo, sounds very very normal to me. 2 year olds are designed to test our patience to the limit. Smile, through gritted teeth if necessary, stay as calm as possible, and insist on early bedtimes -so- -that- -you- -can- -drink- -wine- and spend a lot of time in the fresh air i together f you can.

I think that it's natures way of toughening us up, before they reach teenage!

Of course you're not messing up the parenting thing; all our kids do this in one form or another.

Okay - so if you think she's doing it for attention, show her that she won't get it if she behaves in this way.
My mum always said that ignoring me when I was naughty really worked because it was her attention I wanted and if I behaved badly, she would take any attention away from me until I behaved.

now I know you're dd is only 2 but if she's able to understand and speak like a 3 yr old, then you could say:
"dd, I'm not going to chat to you until you calm down/behave and turn away from her and leave the room". When she comes after you (as she likely will) keep ignoring her and turning away until she says she can be good.

With mine, I did the cause and effect speech every time they misbehaved at that age:

"dd/ds, if you do a,b and c, you will not get d". and
" if you behave nicely, then we can go for a walk/read a story but I will not read a story until you calm down" etc.

"If you cry/scream at me, I will not talk to you" Then follow through and don't talk to her.

Also - when your dh is there, ask him to take over some routine and responsibilities, even if it's simply reading a story/ going for a walk with her. If she's not with you 24/7, she will repsect you more and you won't resent her behaviour as much.

LTS - I could drink wine at midday today!

Loopy - I really appreciate everything you have said, just sometime knowing you are not alone is the best thing.

I have been reading up into time outs - i think when DD is incessantly whingey or cry-y i will take her to the corridor and say "Mummy is putting you in a time out, when you are in a good mood and have stopped crying come and find mummy and we can play a game"

Star charts really work for eating and tidying up - so I am wondering how i can turn it into a time out chart???????

I think you've got a good idea there - letting her know that she chooses in her own time when she behaves and then to come and find you - I bet it won't take her long to calm down.

Loopy - f she's not with you 24/7, she will repsect you more and you won't resent her behaviour as much. - THIS COULD BE KEY!

My ds is really similar; even now, he wants my attention the whole time he's at home and it often drives me nutty! Yesterday, I cuddled him on my lap after school before he said he wanted to use the sofa cushions to build a tower. I helped him build it but then it fell down and he had a great big loopy fit about it. I was like: "hang on, I won't help you rebuild it if you talk to me like that" but he just didn't get it so I walked off and said I had jobs to do.

He followed me into the kitchen after 5 mins and asked me nicely if I could go back and help him. I then explained that I had given him lots of cuddles and chatted for ages and then he spoke to me like that. He said sorry and was fine after that. They have a good knack of making you feel guilty for not being/playing with them the whole time but if we did, we'd go scatty (more scatty than we are already!)

Completely with you - since she has woken we ate and got a star for eating well!! now we are both hoovering the house! x