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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

my ds 2.8 keeps saying he is a girl

18 replies

fragglerocker · 15/12/2011 17:52

he knows the difference between a boy and a girl, he will point them out in stories or on tv or in the street. But today he surprised me by insisting he wasn't a boy but a girl. He put all his toys away (which isn't always an easy thing to get him to do) and i said 'wow ds you're a really good boy' to which he shouted back 'i'm not a boy i'm a girl!' he now keeps telling me he is a girl and 'not a boy!!' . Is he just a bit confused or is it just a game to him? He genuinely knows the difference but he gets very angry when i tell him no you're a boy.

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desertgirl · 15/12/2011 18:03

at least he's human. My DD goes through long spells of insisting she is a cat.

And both DS and DD have had patches of claiming to be a girl/boy; I just put it down to imagination and exploring their place in the world/boundaries between reality and fantasy/etc...

howlongwilltheynap · 15/12/2011 20:46

Today my DS has been bob the builder, a reindeer, and father christmas, I don't see that it would be any different to claim he is a girl. It sounds like a game, although it may go on a bit longer if he sees it as a good way to get attention?

nutterbutsquash · 15/12/2011 22:49

My ds did exactly the same at the same age, sure its just a game.

boatdeliah · 15/12/2011 23:22

Think it is just a game.
DD has been my nephew, my brother and at one point my mum.
and Abney of course.

OldMotherDismass · 15/12/2011 23:26

My nephew did the same at around this age. He is now a healthy definately boy 18 year old. I think it's a phase for some.

Mollydoggerson · 15/12/2011 23:26

I think he wants to emulate you, and be exactly as you are. Take it as a compliment.

Original poster

fragglerocker · 16/12/2011 06:55

Thanks everyone. Today he has decided he is a boy again! Well, Mike the Knight to be precise. Maybe he will be someone else by dinner time It's obviously entertaining for him so I will go along with whatever he says! I might even pretend to be daddy and sit on my bum when i get in from work and not move again until bed time

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SantaIsAnAnagramOfSatan · 16/12/2011 06:58

ime they all do it. ds did it and i distinctly remember my neice playing 'catch my kiki' (french pet name for penis in our family) in the bath which involved holding a flannel over her privates and wigglign her hips around and being insistent she had a penis under there.

SantaIsAnAnagramOfSatan · 16/12/2011 06:59

oh sometimes i have to be daddy btw and ds insists he's the mummy or vice versa. i think it's all just role play and maybe a hint of resistance at being categorised.

FellatioNelson · 16/12/2011 07:05

It could be play-acting and experimenting (probably is TBH) or it could be a red flag for something more complicated. Don't over-react or keep questioning him about it. Just keep an eye on the developing situation and be quietly receptive to any other signs. But even if there were other signs, it is by no means a definitive conclusion!

My eldest son went through a phase of wanting to dress up as the little mermaid when he was about 4, and I indulged him totally. He is now perfectly normal, non-confused, hetero 19 year old.

exoticfruits · 16/12/2011 07:41

Quite normal I think-at least he is a human! DS had a time as a cat!

gastrognome · 16/12/2011 07:45

I read somewhere (possibly in a Desmond Morris book) that around that age children start to understand that boys and girls are different - but they don't understand that the distinction is permanent.

So in the child's mind, just because he is a boy today doesn't mean he can't be a girl tomorrow.

notevenaChristmousie · 16/12/2011 07:47

DD's cat phase was really quite prolonged, and frustratingly persistent (though attempting to serve cat food was fairly successful) and then she just grew out of it just before she was 4. The imaginary friends are rarely to be 'seen' now at nearly 5. I think it's just one of those things

FellatioNelson · 16/12/2011 09:09

I know someone whose son spent two years being Virgil from Thunderbirds, had to have several Vrigil outifts as it was all he would wear outside of school uniform, and even refused to answer to anything but Virgil. That is a true fact.

FellatioNelson · 16/12/2011 09:10

Men who are in touch with their feminine sides make the best men IMHO.

desertgirl · 16/12/2011 13:26

noteven, I have found the catfood thing quite helpful too :) wouldn't mind the 'cat' so much if it miaowed a bit less....!!

Mrskbpw · 16/12/2011 13:28

My son is four and for about a year, if anyone has asked him what he's going to be when he grows up, he says: "a bear". He gets very cross if anyone dares suggest this might be tricky.

tethersjinglebellend · 16/12/2011 13:30

My DD has started beginning stories with "When I was a little man", so I wouldn't worry.

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