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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Baby waking during the night... Uggghhhhh

20 replies

ScarIettOHara · 14/12/2011 20:59

My 5 month old is sleeping beautifully - sort of. He's going to bed at 7pm, having his dreamfeed at 11 - and napping for less than 3 hours during the day. BUT every night at about 4 (somethimes 5, sometimes 2!) he wakes up and cries. I have tried soothing him back to sleep but nothing works unless I feed him. I'm so exhausted during the middle of the night that I tend to take him into bed with me and feed him there, meaning that he spends the rest of the night in with us until 7. I barely get any sleep during this time as I tend to be feeding quite a bit and lightly dosing.

I'm now permanently knackered and look like I could do with a good night's sleep! Has this kind of thing happened to others and do you have any suggestions for me?

Thanks in advance

OP posts:

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TeamDamon · 14/12/2011 21:05

This doesn't seem unusual, thinking back years to when DS was that age. I'm pretty sure he wasn't sleeping through at 5 months.

Can you not go to him, give him a feed and put him back down in his cot? Why do you take him into bed with you? It may be tiring to sit up and feed him for 15-20 minutes but you could then get back to sleep more soundly if he's in his own cot and you're in your bed!

ShowOfHands · 14/12/2011 21:09

Sounds completely normal. Most 5 month olds still need a couple of night feeds.

Go to bed earlier? Express? Ask dp/dh to have a go at resettling?

Original poster

ScarIettOHara · 14/12/2011 21:15

Really? I'm pleased to hear it isn't unusual but most of my friend's babies (same age) seem to be sleeping through the night. I just assumed there was something wrong with this.

Thanks TeamDamon I'm going to try giving him a feed and putting him back down. He's not such an efficient feeder though so they never last just 20 mins and can go on over an hour (not sure how much is eating and how much is just comfort)

OP posts:

sedgieloo · 14/12/2011 21:19

Hi scarlett its so tiring isn't it. Give it a little more time and it will all change, you will be introducing solids and he'll drop that night feed or you will be thinking about weaning him off it. But if you really need some rest can you do as showofhands says and go to bed early, say 9pm, let dh do the dream feed (can you express?) and then you may not mind the 2nd night feed. I had to go to bed so early to cope with the fatigue but soon enough she started to drop the 2nd feed and I could stay up and I started to feel like a real person again!

TeamDamon · 14/12/2011 21:42

DS used to feed for aaaaaaaaaaaaaaages but my (very sensible) GP said that 15 mins on each side was fine, and the rest was comfort nursing that he didn't need for nutrition, so I used to try to be firmer about the night time feeds than I was about the day time ones!

Good luck.

MigGril · 15/12/2011 09:13

TeamDamon - really, all baby's take different amounts of time to feed and an hour is certainly within the realmes of normal. Bad GP advice there 15minutes each side is the old advice when they used to say only feed every 4hours.

However you can sometimes tell when they aren't actively feeding by looking at there suck and swollow pattern. Active feeding baby's are sucking and swollowing at regular intervales, when they are more comfort feeding (and this doesn't mean they are still not getting milk and you should never restrict a young babys feeds) it's more of a fluttery less deep sucking with less swollowing. I also hate the term comfort feeding as baby is still getting nurtian and why shouldn't they seek the warth and sercurity of mum they are still so little.

By the way one night waking at 5months is actually REALLY GOOD. Many baby's are still waking more often then this. So your actualy do really well.

TeamDamon · 15/12/2011 10:57

Oh God, MigGril, wind your neck in! My GP is one of the most intelligent and sensible doctors I've ever met, so probably not going to discount her experienced advice because some random person on the internet doesn't agree with it

I'm trying to make the OP feel better about giving shorter night time feeds, and the current advice seems to be that 20-40 mins per side is fine for nutrition's sake, certainly for a 5 month old baby who is able to feed much more efficiently and has a larger stomach than a newborn. And in the middle of the night, when she's exhausted, she may prefer not to comfort feed but to feed more swiftly and settle the baby back down.

BrianButterfield · 15/12/2011 11:05

BTW, a baby is counted as "sleeping through" when they go for a five-hour stretch in the night so sleeping from 11-4 is sleeping through

MigGril · 15/12/2011 12:47

TeamDamon - the current advice is to feed baby on demand untill they have had enough ie fall off themself's. Anyone suggesting timing feeds is spouting old advice. Unless your GP has had resent traning in BF then he probably wouldn't know this.

I'm a trained BfN helper who has to recive upto date traning every month in order to stay registered.

MigGril · 15/12/2011 12:51

And I wasn't saying you can't shorten feeds just that timing then isn't a good idea. You need to look at the feeding pattern.

DrSears is a really good place to seek advice on night waking and baby's feeding/sleeping habits. He's very pro so-sleeping which I know isn't what everyone feel's comftable doing.

MigGril · 15/12/2011 12:58

Oh and there is some good reading hear to www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html to give you an idea on what is normal.

brightonbleach · 15/12/2011 13:04

normal :) something I did at for DS at that age (and for my sanity!) was to use a breastpump, I had loads of milk so would express a couple of bottles for the fridge, then DP would have plenty to do the middle of night/3, 4, or 5am feed and actually he loved it, was the only time he was in control/on his own with him so he really looks back at it as totally bonding for him, and at least I could sleep from midnight to 7am most nights at that point.

boredbuthappy · 15/12/2011 14:45

Scarlett, DO NOT listen to anyone who is telling you that their baby is sleeping through the night. It might not even be true. Even if it is, idt doesn't matter, your baby is not so hearing people tell you their babies are sleeping is only going to make you LIVID. My ds is 9 months and has only recently started sleeping through occasionally. At 5 months he was having 2 nights feeds, sometimes only 1 if we got lucky, but definitely was not sleeping through the night, ever. And quite the opposite to you, I only know of 1 baby out of 9 that I see regularly that sleeps through the night. Sleeping through, especially at 5 months really is not the norm, despite wha people will tell you. Hang in there, you are not alone, and slowly you will see things change, I promise!

TeamDamon · 15/12/2011 16:13

Yeah, yeah. DS is 8 now so I would imagine that the advice my GP was giving me was current 8 years ago which is when I went to see her (like the assumption that my GP is male ) about breast feeding. That was also the time when it was acceptable to wean babies onto solids at 4 months, not 6. And do you know what? DS - not underweight, not scarred for life, not dead. Which suggests that maybe advice goes in and out of fashion, and that maybe taking a baby off the breast after 20 minutes instead of letting them nurse for two hours in the middle of the night wouldn't be the end of the world.

emsyj · 15/12/2011 16:16

My DD didn't sleep through the night until she was 11.5 months old. I only know two babies out of a group of 15 (mums I've met at baby groups and regularly socialise with) who were sleeping through at 5 months. All the rest started sleeping longer at 9/10 months once fully weaned.

DD still sometimes wakes (aged 18 months now) but not every night.

emsyj · 15/12/2011 16:17

...and DD woke to feed (bf) every 2 hours through the night at 5 months. It was horrible, but it does end (eventually).

mrsalwaysawake · 15/12/2011 23:08

My DS is 4.5 months and its only recently that 1 night feed has become the norm. Sometimes its still 3!
I have friends whose younger babies sleep through til 7am, but I'm not worried cos all babies are different.
My advice is to feed your son when he wants it, then put him back to bed, and just accept that this is what he does. You may not get any more sleep, but you'll be happier if you're not worrying or spending ages trying to settle him another way.

Tryharder · 15/12/2011 23:15

I think this is quite good actually and your baby is sleeping very well. None of mine have slept that well at this age.

4am is a bastard time to be awake though. I would just put him in bed with me. latch him on and then go back to sleep. Win win.

argylesocks · 18/12/2011 16:28

I would have LOVED it if my ds only woke once during the night at 5 months. He woke three or four times every night up until recently, he's now 7.5 months, and he still usually wakes up twice. It's really exhausting but I think it's totally normal. I have a friend whose baby is 10 weeks and she's complaining he's still getting up once at 5am! I think there are a lot of unrealistic expectations for sleep and yes its exhausting but it's just part of the deal.

Molehillmountain · 18/12/2011 19:53

Also-check the current sleeping situation with your friends . Dd2 (not that I shared this with anyone) was doing a nine or ten hour stretch in her moses basket at three months. At five months we're lucky to get three and she's in our bed. Not complaining-guessed it was too good to be true but show sleeping through isn't static. In a few months time you could be passing the night waking baton onto one of the others in your group!

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