Disastrous frist time at gym club...

[CatBert]

I really thought DD1 (3.5) would LOVE it. I really did! We go to the play gym version occasionally, and she really enjoys herself - she will swing on the bars, balance on the beams, jump around madly, bounce on the trampoline.

OK - I understand the reasons. It was a big, BIG place, which did seem quite empty without millions of children like when it's play gym. There were LOTS (20 or more) of other children (between 3 and 5) and although we went with one of her bestest friends, she didn't know any other children and I think it was all overwhelming. Anyway - she started off fine, and then when they ran around the mat, she got halfway round and then broke into hysterical sobbing, saying she didn't want to do it. Three times the staff tried to persuade her to join in. She did venture back out only to be brought back about 10 mins later all upset again. It was also the first session at Nursery yesterday am, after the xmas break.

She was the only one who acted like this. She is usually a very sociable, active, happy child. But I have noticed (like me) she is better in familiar surroundings with familiar people.

Combined with a wriggly 22m old DD2 who was being, frankly, a pain because I couldn't dissapear into the "waiting area" and had to stop HER from trying to join in every 5 minutes it made for a stressful experience.

So. Although I don't want her to do anything that would distress her I have a couple of questions...

What if she's the same next week. I really don't think I should give up on week 1. If she can get over her nerves, I really think she would enjoy the activity. But what if she behaves the same next week - should I spend several weeks getting her used to it?

I have paid up for the 10 week term. OK - I can deal with the fallout if she really doesn't want to do it. It's still a bit annoying! I am trying not to make that an issue. I could say it's only money of course, but money is a bit tight ATM.

I am attending with a friend and her son, who don't drive, and who could not go if we didn't. She has also paid up for her 10 week course. Her son enjoyed the session! I would feel bad about not going and taking her.

Has anyone else had a similar experience joining a new activity...?

hmm, if she started back at nursery yesterday it may have been a bit too much for her, perhaps she was tired?

I tried a gym class with ds when he was younger (nearly 3)and he (and I) both hated it. Hel likes to runaround freely but not have to run in a circuit anticlockwise or whatever it was.
I remember being very stresses as all the other parents were getting annoyed that ds wasn't 'complying'.

Anyhow I stopped going after a couple of weeks like this.

I am not saying this is the case with your dd.
I reckon she was just a bit tired, and maybe needs to do just a small section of the class, then sit and watch the rest?

Re your wriggly dd2, is there anyone that could look after her for the duration of the class... why don't you and your friend take turns to take the kids into the class, and the other one could look after dd2?

CAtbert - it is a tricky one...
I had a bad expereince with dd1 a while ago - two distastrous sessions at tumbletots. she just hated the whole concept and so I hated it too.
Only you know your daughter but I would probably give it one more session at least before you give up. Like you say it is easy for you to understand becas=use you tend to feel the same way. take a little time for her to get familiar.
maybe your friend can get a lift with someone else?
please don't make her go just because you have paid though, really what purpose would that serve? only to make you both miserable and it won't get your money back, you will just be spending MORE money on petrol - good money after bad.
hope it goes beter next time.

ps if it's Heathrow gym... we're on the waiting list for gymlets.... so ds will take the place if you like!!!

unicorn - snap. that happened with my daughter too. She is not a complier and lord knows where she gets it from . she also hated having to waft around bits of ribbon because it was her turn to do that and sing sappy songs rather than climbing on all the lovely equipment.
not all children are the same and thank god for that I say.

indeed Harpsi, but at the time I remember feeling so, so upset.

The teacher was a PITA too, virtually suggesting that he wasn't behaving 'correctly' ffs he wasn't even 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(this wasn't Heathrow btw)

yes me too unicorn
in fact it was the one and only time that I have deliberately made dd1 cry because I was soooo embarrassed though it didn't help that I was in early labour

I still shudder at the thought of ds1's first session at microsports. I took him out and asked for my money back- they had a waiting list and were pleased to get rid of him. He would probably have been able to get something out of it, but the teachers seemed quite pleased to get rid of him. We didn't know he was autistic at the time, although I had explained he had been diagnosed with (mild) language delay (ha ha ha), and that he would have problems following instructions. He wasn't naughty- just didn't understand that he had to behave in the same way as the others- and the leader couldn't handle that.

Bit difficult about your friend. Unless your dd really expresses distate I would try it again, and see how that goes. If you do decide to give it a miss you may well be able to get a refund thought (even if they say they don't give them).

Message withdrawn

Music Monsters and Tumble Tots. > at the memory. They were awful. DS1 is kind of 'spirited'. In the end I gave up and now just take him to the free places (park) with his friends to run about and climb stuff etc. He seems much happier when it's not something he has to do with everyone else. Guess not all kids like it do they?

My DS2 went to Gymbabes (the baby version of Tumbletots which is rather less regimented) and enjoyed it, but absolutely loathed Tumbletots. I went for a few sessions in which he lay on his back and screamed, while a number of twittering mothers looked on and speculated as to whether my son (who was 15 months old at the time)had autism or hyperactivity and went on about how much their children loved Tumbletots. I was pregnant at the time and decided I could stand no more. I didn't even bother trying to take DS3 to Tumbletots or any similar activity, and I don't think either child suffered as a consequence.

I would give it another week to see whether your daughter was just having a bad day, and give up then if she still doesn't like it. I'd have a go at trying to get the money back - you may succeed and, if you're never going back, you needn't worry about upsetting the gym staff.

As for your friend, I'd be upfront with her at this stage so she can make alternative arrangements (other friend, bus, taxi or whatever). I really don't think that your initial kind offer to take her child should really commit you to carry on doing so if you're not going yourself. She must surely be aware of the risk in such an arrangement.

yes let's start a "our children are too spirited for tumbletots" clique!
I really hated thr rampant commercialism of itall too. I really resent the "everyone must wear at shirt" thing turing my child into an advertising hoarding and OH! the songs...
and wildly over priced
apart from that it was great

harpsi - i hated music monsters the most! it was just dreadful, parading up and down a church hall, with maraccas and tambourines following 3 middleaged women in long floating clothing who looked liked they just put out a joint, talking to us mums in oversoft voices trying to mother us all singing nursery rhymes i've never even heard of! never again!

I hated the other smug mums who's children all did as they were told.. whilst mine just did his own thing - which is of course not acceptable.

I was going to write an article on the basis of this whole awful experience once entitled 'Toddler boot camp'.. (hmm, may resurrect it now I know it isn't just me who hates these places!)

Oooooh! Thanks for all your responses!

I think that perhaps it may take some settling in. Perhaps I'll try for another couple of weeks (if next week is also difficult)...

Funny thing is on the way home (stressed, and guilt ridden at whether I have turned into an "alpha mum"!!!!!! my poor wee baby) I said "Are you OK darling?" and she said "Yes, fine thanks" in a matter of fact way, then proceeded to say "I had fun at gymnastics" (EH???) so I said "Perhaps you want to join in a bit more next week?" and she said "Yes - then I can have a leotard!"...

Who knows. She's never really been the dressing up kind of girl, but possibly the incentive of a sparkly leotard might encourage her???

Ah well. Thanks for your responses. I shall grin and bear it for a couple of weeks more and see how it goes.

Mine never played along at these things. All the mums in tweed skirts looking down their noses at us as if we're weird. Hated them, hated them, hated them!!

Unicorn think the article is a good idea! I'm sure us lot who have children with character (which is my word for the ones that can't be controlled) would love to read it!

one of my friends always says, kindly "well Harpsichordcarrier junior will grow into that personality..."
which means she will be prime minister one day
and make a bloody good job of it

O Unicorn, pleeeeease write that article!

My dd (2) was the only girl NOT to sit nicely in a circle and clap her hands at Monkey Music (couple of lads and a fire extinguisher on far side of hall much more interesting).

We start Gymboree tomorrow to see if thats more suited to her particular monkeyishness...but tbh, am half dreading it already...