4 week old going berserk at night

[felixfelicis1]

My four week old son has started going completely mental in the evenings. In the day he is very content, happy to be in his bouncer chair alone/put down on his changing mat etc. But come about four or five he screams blue murder if he is put down. He absolutely will not calm down unless held. I have tried doing spaced soothing for hours and hours but he just won't calm down. I have been really good at not going to him if he is just grizzling or crying a little but this is really heavy screaming and I don't feel comfortable leaving him to cry it out. I have tried letting him do this for about ten minutes at a time but I don't think I could leave him any longer than that. He eats really well so I am certain he isn't hungry. Once he eventually falls asleep (after much rocking, singing etc) he is capable of sleeping for five or even six hours so he must be eating enough. I am fairly sure it isn't wind either. Could it be colic? But if it were colic then he wouldn't be able to be settled with singing and rocking would he?

Please help! Any advice or ideas would be so appreciated.

Could be colic if it's happening at the same time everyday. Try infacol with every feed. Worked wonders for my little boy. Colic comes on suddenly and eases just as suddenly.

That being said my little boy also went through a stage early on when it took us hours of pacing the room with him to calm him enough to go to sleep. He would literally scream every time we tried to put him down - we both ended up with terrible backache! However after about 2-3 weeks of this it gradually got better and instead of getting him to sleep at 1am after trying to calm him since 6pm it got earlier and earlier and easier and easier and now at 16 weeks we put him down in his cot at 6pm and within 10mins he has fallen asleep without any intervention from us. try and keep calm, take it in turns with your husband/boyfriend so you don't go insane and have faith that it won't last forever. I feel your pain though! Xx

Honestly? He sounds tired - he's probably worn out from being on the playgym etc in the day and needs cuddles etc to calm down. It dealt doesn't take much to tire out a little baby! Especially at the end of the day.

Give him cuddles, forget using crying out techniques on him. Consider getting a sling - this was great for DS and his late afternoon/evening meltdowns and I still had hands free.

really not dealt

My DS did exactly the same thing. Once they start paying more attention to what's going on, they find it hard to switch off and get very tired and screamy. Try not to let your baby stay awake for more than 2 hours at a time. Once he's been awake for 90 minutes, start winding him down for a nap.

I found playing the same music every nap time helped him to relax. He now associates a certain piece of music with sleeping music which is so useful and saves the frantic rocking I used to have to do.

As no one else has said it. 4 Week's is WAY to early to use any type of sleep training technic on him. It could be colic or overtiredness who knows just cuddle him.

At this age they don't really need stimulation with things like play mats, all he needs it to be held, kept clean and fed.

4 weeks is too young for playmats, gyms and entertainment. He just wants to feed, sleep and be near his mummy. I would put him in a sling or sit down, cuddle him and put your feet up with a DVD. Please don't do controlled crying, CIO or any other form of sleep training. He's too young.

What MigGril and TryHarder said

Hi Felix, babies need to cry at the end of the day to release their stresses, while being held by you, it's natural, I think most babies have a period of crying at the end of the day.Sleeping 5 or 6 hours at a stretch is really good for this age, I'd say! I wouldn't leave a baby to cry for a minute though let alone 10! Crying is a baby's only way of communicating, so I think it's important to listen, or they grow up with the message that they are unimportant. What is spaced soothing? I've never heard of it before.

My DD used to do this too, and DH and I would spend hours pacing up and down with her. She liked to cluster feed well into the evening too. In hindsight, I think she was tired and windy, but it was hard to do anything about it as she wouldn't sleep easily in the evenings. The peak was around 8 weeks and she's gradually got better ever since, especially as the cluster feeding has reduced and we've been able to move her bedtime earlier. Now at 24 weeks I've forgotten all about those early days! I think this really is one of those issues that time will solve, although it doesn't feel much like it now.

Thanks so much everyone. I am starting to think maybe he is overtired. He is incredibly active in the day and often just won't nap almost all day (even snuggled up on me walking around the room, in his pushchair, sling etc). He is now five weeks and I think would be interested in a play gym, toys etc. He is not one of those babies who just cuddles, sleeps and feeds like I have seen some be. When he is wide awake and I am holding him he kicks and wriggles a lot and seems to wants some freedom to move around (happily, not grizzly etc). The problem at night is that he screams regardless of being walked around, cuddled etc. It isn't that he won't go to sleep in his own bed, he really screams regardless of being in our bed, on my tummy, rocked, sung to etc etc.

PS spaced soothing is when you go to them in their bed while crying and stroke them etc without picking them up. It allegedly stops them crying but certainly hasn't worked for me!

Sounds silly but the more "active" they seem usually means they've gone past the point of no return, have a second wind and get hyper (DS was exactly like this - I used to think he was lively but he was wired!)

The sling was the best option, block out any visual stimulus (I used to drape a muslin over his head with room to breath of course) and go for a walk. He'd be asleep pretty quickly (10-15 mins).

I also had to be careful and watch for tired signs after 30-45 mins then stick in sling or cuddle somewhere. He stopped feeding to sleep around 4 weeks. If I missed the tired window then I'd try again a bit later.

Spaced soothing is unlikely to work with such a tiny baby because they have no sense of time. When DS used to have overtired meltdowns the only things that worked were the sling, dummy plus a walk outside or swaddle, rock in a dark room with white noise cranked up. We used to get it at 3am which was a killer.

DD1 did exactly this. Eventually I got out a sling, one of those cloth ones that you wind around your body and just wore her all evening for a few weeks. She slept, I had my hands free, everyone was a winner and she was sleeping midnight to 7am by about nine weeks.

Too young for any type of guarded soothing, including spaced soothing IMO. He's tiny, sounds overtired and the best thing at that age is to cuddle if they're crying. Problem ith over tiredness is that there's a fine line between being amenable to a good snooze and being wide eyed, thousand yard stare-y and beyond comforting. Trick is to get straight in there t the amenable stage - which is tricky IME.

Agree with previous posters re trying to make sure that you don't hae any longer than 2 hours between sleeps at this stage. Really an hour and a half awake is enough. Also try the infacol. Didn't work with dd who had rotten wretched colic, but did with ds1 and ds2.

I agree that its way way to early for spaced soothing (controlled crying). It's not recommended before six months!

Are you sure it's not a growth spurt? Have you tried feeding more even though he's already fed well? Mine seemed to be on a constant growth spurt for about the first 6 weeks and always cluster fed in the evenings so would obviously have cried if she wasn't being fed.

Hi all, thank you so so much for all the advice. I just wanted to update.

I think you were all definitely right about the being overtired. On Thursday I fled to my mum's country house to sort it out and give DH a break (even though he was desperate for us not to go I know he will have appreciated a good night's sleep). I know lots of people say 5 weeks is too early for a routine but I started implementing one and he is clearly benefiting so much from it! In just this short time I have noticed such a change in his demeanour. He is contended almost all the time. When he was grizzling in the day before I told myself 'oh that's just babies' but I have realised that if I catch his tiredness before it gets to that stage then he is happy all day long.

The nights are still hard of course but with a good ratio of sleep in the day it is so much better. I am ensuring we do the bed time routine with bath and then quiet time etc (before I was passing out and letting DH stay up watching telly with him which is clearly what was winding him up so much). It still takes an hour to get him to sleep but that is such an improvement!!

I have also been doing a split feed. One feed before bath and then offering some expressed milk in a bottle (so I know how much he has had and can be sure that is is more than enough!). I think my milk supply was quite low in the evenings from being so tired.

Hopefully we are on course for an easier bedtime and even me and DH having supper together!

PS I didn't think spaced soothing was the same as CC?? I'm talking the Jo Tantum version which I think she suggests from newborn?