Help DD cries histerically when she sees my aunt.

[F1rstT1meMummy]

Please help - this is becoming embarrassing for my mum and horrible for my aunt.

My DD has never 'relaxed' with my aunt since she was a few months.

DD is now 5 1/2 months, and a few weeks ago, we went shopping together and everytime DD was spoken to by my aunt, she cried (this has also happened a few times before).

This week, on two occasions my mum has taken DD to let me catch up on sleep.

Earlier this week, mum walked to my aunts with DD - who apparently cried all the time she was there for 20 minutes.

Today, mum took DD back to her house, and aunt turned up for a cuppa. It got to feed time so I called my mum to see where she was, and heard DD in the background crying. When I got there (less than 3 mins) - DD was sobbing, real tears - the whole lot, and I have never, ever seen her in that state before.

My aunt only wants to spend time with DD and I really feel for her - especially now she has mentioned a few times that DD doesnt like her.

So what can I do - and what could it be that DD doesn't like? and how do I overcome this?

Thanks for your time!

We had a similar issue with DD2 and my sister. For something like the first 9 months of her life she would cry on seeing DSis. There was never any likelihood of DSis getting a cuddle from DD2 without the accompanying crying. DSis never took this personally (or if she did, she never said anything) and it actually became something of a joke that DD2 was scared of her!

Anyway, there didn't seem to be any reason for it and DD2 never reacted in that way to anyone else.

However, gradually the screeching calmed down and I would just get DD2 to sit on DSis's lap whilst I 'popped to the loo' or for some other excuse. DD2 was not happy about this for some time but gradually cried less when she got 'given' to DSis.

DD2 is now nearly 3 and has no problems with DSis - she will happily play, cuddle, jump all over DSis and will happily stay with DSis and her DCs along with DD1.

I am not sure I have any specific advice but I just wanted to say that we had a similar issue and it gradually got better - just took time, patience, smiles and funny faces from DSis!

Good luck

DD had this with a few people when she was young. I used to put her on my lap and then sit next to the person, so she could feel safe while still getting to know them. One relative who had this problem eventually won her heart by singing tons of nursery rhymes and pulling faces, so I think the two of them just needed some time to build their relationship.

Try not to make too big a deal out of it and she will grow out of it as she gets older and grows more confident in the world around her. Remember your DD is meeting tons of new people and it's ok if she needs more time to bond with some than with others.

One of my DTs cried every time my brother so much as looked at her, about the same age as your DD. I felt so sorry for him, he's such a lovely bloke and she saw him at least once a week. She just got over it after a while. I wonder if it's just a stage of development? I suspect it's totally normal! Both my DTs adore him now (21 months). No advice, but you're certainly not alonee.

This happened with my DD1 and her Grandad (OH's Dad). She would scream and cry if in the same room as him and would never go to him if he called her. She was fine with my Dad. I think it had something to do with how often she saw them and how relaxed the situation was when we were there. OH's Dad had a drink prob and although he was never drunk while we were there it was having an impact through depression. We didn't realise at the time as his mood would lift while we were there and he was good at hiding it, but I wonder now whether she was picking up on that.

What I did was to calmly sit in the same room as him and have her on my knee in a nice relaxed way a few times, each time sitting a bit closer and carrying on a normal chat with her and her Grandad. After a few goes at that she was fine with him and would go to him when he called and played with him.