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My 3 yr old dd has started being violent, please help me - sorry long post

1 reply

RayeB · 08/12/2011 13:02

Hi

Brief background. DD is 3 yrs 7 mo old. I have a 8.5 mo old DS. She is a wonderful girl, bright and clever, very loving and caring. She loves her brother, we've had a bit of jealousy issues, but nothing major. She is aware how much we love her and we have instilled in her values about family etc.

She has started to hit me. Over nothing. Quick example, last night I got her out of the bath. She didn't want to get out as she was playing but it was time. She slapped me. Punched me in the stomach then started kicking me. The look on her face, it was like she'd been possessed. I didn't know what to do. Said calmly, "we don't hit, kick or punch in this house, it's naughty". She did it again. I picked her up, kicking and screaming, wrapped her in a towel and carried her into her room, put her on her bed, told her the same message and shut the door. Went back to DS to bath him, fed him and then went back in. She just sat on the bed sobbing. I dryed her hair, got her PJs on (well half on as she threw her top across room). I ended up leaving her as she wouldn't listen. every time I tried to talk she made a screaching noise.

Her daddy came home then and spoke with her while I put DS down in cot. She knew she had been naughty and said that "mummy was sad because [name] had slapped her and kicked her" and she said she was "naughty".

This has happened a few times. I have also caught her trying to be violent to her brother, kicking him, dragging him around. Straight on naughty step with the same message.

What else can I do - open to suggestions. I don't want to start threatening no santa etc. I have tried to remain calm but this morning I was in floods of tears as my beautiful girl has turned into a violent monster. She is not violent out of the house, ie at nursery, she is an angel with everyone apart from me/her brother/sometimes her daddy. Help me as I'm not sure what to do. Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
HoHoOpotomus · 08/12/2011 16:21

DD went through a phase like this at about the same age - be reassured that it was a PHASE!

We used time out - not so much as a punishment, but as a way for her to calm down, cool off.

We told her Mummy is very sad that you hurt her etc (violence seems to mainly be directed towards me). We told her that what she did hurts and is unacceptable. When she commented on XY child being naughty or hitting another child we would discuss that and did she think it was nice thing to do, was the other child hurt etc, would DD like it if someone hit/kicked/hurt her?

Worth thinking about what TV she is watching. DD is usually restricted to CBeebies and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, but I did notice her violent outbursts getting worse after she had watched back to back Tom & Jerry cartoons at a friends house!!!! It was only on one day but it triggered lots of physical stuff.

And it did pass - not to say she never lashes out now, but its a rare occurrence and we can deal with it as a fairly isolated incident rather than usual behaviour.

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