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Advice, anything please !

3 replies

Twosugarsplease · 07/12/2011 11:25

my ds 2yrs 3 mo just won't go to sleep without being constantly kissed, cuddled, now wanting specific teddies etc, I know it doesn't sound much, but as soon as I leave his room he wants more kisses, more cuddles, he pulls my hair across his face, so in place I ask him to use his blankie, teddy etc.

Sometimes on a good night two or three times of popping back in will do it, but other times it's kiss, kiss, etc etc, asking again, again, again, and lately, just one more, it can go on for ages, I'm now dreading bedtimes, which otherwise are lovely, story in his room, milk and cuddles, as soon as I switch off the lamp, the ritual begins.

My dp can usually settle him, as it's me he does it to, but I want to be able to get back in control.
I find myself getting frustrated and stressed out, this can't go on. Once he is asleep, he sleeps through until 8, which is fantastic, i have dropped his naps to none at at all, because I cant go through this during day time too.

Is he old enough to let him cry for a while ? When he was younger I would pop in every 3-5 mins and lay him down, until he eventually learned to self soothe, do you think he has forgotten how to, and that's why he wants me in his face at bedtime ? What is the best way for me deal with this at his age ?

Anything at all will be so much appreciated x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
glasscompletelybroken · 07/12/2011 12:22

If he will settle for your DP then he doesn't need this and just recognises a soft touch in his mum!

Go back to what you were doing - go through the story, milk and cuddles then just lay him down and leave the room. If he doesn't settle go back and lay him down again without paying him any real attention and repeat as necessary.

You will have a difficult few nights but it will be worth it. My DH and his ex had the most ridiculous pantomime every bedtime which he had to carry on after they had separated. This was still going on when they were 7 & 5 and it has taken years to wean them off. Now they are 11 & 8 and bedtime still takes ages (although miles better than it was).

Nip it in the bud - however hard it is now it will only be harder if you let it continue.

2ddornot2dd · 07/12/2011 22:46

glass completely broken is completely right (IMO) It will be hard, but do it now. I have a rule that I will go in three times, and after that I just go to the room in case there is a real problem, ask her what she wants, say no, go downstairs again. It still takes her a while to go to sleep, but I am at least able to get on with my life while she chats to her dolls.

noblegiraffe · 07/12/2011 23:26

My DS, about the same age understands the phrase 'Last time' very well. It is used lots throughout the day and if we're doing something and I say 'ok, but this is the last time', he either doesn't ask again, or doesn't whinge when I say 'sorry, that was the last time'. Could something like this help? Go in a set number of times, tell him which one is the last time then if he fusses again stick your head around the door and say 'sorry, that was the last time, night night', then no more attention?

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