Advice about 5 month old dd, worried about development

[snowchick1977]

Hi

Im a bit worried about my dd's development. She is still very young I know but I do not have anyone to ask about this and I dont know if I am worrying about nothing.

She is 5 months old....4 months corrected age, as she was born 4 weeks early.

Compared to other peoples babies she doesnt seem quite up to speed with what they are doing and what the books say she should be doing.

She has only just learnt full head control. She can lift her head fully when on her tummy and roll from her front onto her back. She is breastfed but everyone keeps telling me to get her started on solids but she cant sit unaided yet in a highchair.

Shes got a bumbo and likes to sit in that but i was wondering if this all sounded normal?

I dont have many toys for her...should i buy a bouncer or a walker? Would this help her development? She spends a lot of time on her back which i feel bad about.

Any advice?

That all sounds perfectly normal to me. She doesn't need to be weaned until she's at least 6 months if she's happy with milk (which she should be). She may like a bouncy chair instead of lying flat so she can see what's going on a bit better (but I see you have a bumbo so that might be sufficient). Walkers are dangerous and waste of money don't get one of those.

What are the other 5 month old babies you know doing?

Hi snowchick it does sound completely normal so don't worry, for your baby's corrected or actual age. DD was 6 weeks early and certainly couldn't sit unaided at even at 6 months actual, she would even slump in a bumbo and couldn't begin to manage a highchair so it sounds like your LO is doing really well!

I read somewhere they don't catch up for about 2 years developmentally, and 4 weeks can make a big difference in such a little one. I think DD has been slower than her peers but that may just be her and nothing to do with her being prem iyswim!

Why are you getting pressure to wean? I was recommended at 6 months actual and tbh it was a struggle even then because DD clearly couldn't cope, tongue thrust reflex thing was still strong, couldn't sit up etc. I would estimate she ate about 1 mouthful of food if that a day for the first month! It's perfectly ok to wait until 6 months actual and even then, don't worry too much, she will get there in the end.

Am no expert in toys, if she sits in a bumbo, that's good as she can have a better view of the world. Do you like slings? Carrying her around so she can see what's going on and being close to you might help?

Ps ditch the books, that way madness lies! Do you have a sensible hv or GP that you could see who would be able to give you a proper opinion?

Sounds fine to me!

DS didn't roll until he was 14 months old, so she actually sounds quite advanced

Do you have a play mat or play gym that she can lie under and reach/grab/kick things? I had the Rainforst one by Fisher Price which was a godsend until DS could sit up (6 months). The two toys he 'liked' at around this age were a rattle from Mothercare with a fluffy chick on it, and the Vtech My First Music Maker.

Once he learnt to sit up, there were lots more toys he could play with.

DS never hit the physical milestones described in the books and I spent many hours stressing about it so I know how it feels!

My ds was born a week late and didn't roll til 5 months and didn't sit unaided til 7.5 months!

Walkers aren't very good for them so I wouldn't bother.

My DD2 has never rolled yet and she's almost 7 months. She has been able to sit up in a highchair from about 6 months, and a bumbo was great from when she could sort-of-but-not-quite sit up (and she still goes in it from time to time). DD1 rolled at about 5 months, could sit up in a highchair about 6 months too. DD2 would still topple over if sitting up on the floor though at the moment, same as DD1 at that age. So everything you say sounds totally normal to me.

I think being on her back is fine. Can she sit up if you prop her up with cushions? (Don't worry at all if not - it's still pretty early for that). In terms of toys, I think things with different textures are good - you don't need to buy anything special necessarily, just anything you have around the house which you don't mind being chewed and which is too big for her to swallow. I think the best thing you can do for her development is to have her where you are and to talk to her about what you are doing etc, sing songs to her and with her, do action rhymes, even sit and look at books (or anything really - magazines, anything), lots of cuddles, silly voices - you get the idea!

Do you give her time on her tummy? She may not like it at first, but if you haven't been putting her on her tummy she'll need to get used to it and you have to just do it little and often. Gradually she'll protest less and start to do more - lifting her head/neck/shoulders off the mat, rolling over, reaching for items nearby, etc.

I wouldn't buy a bouncer if she's already 5 months old, although if someone offers you one, take it. I've just put ours away as my DS, who's nearly 7 months, is too active for it and keeps trying to get out!

Just play with her and give her lots of encouragement. Put her on her back, hold her hands and pull her up to a sitting position, hold her upright and let her stand on your legs, when she's on her tummy get down on the floor with her and give her things to look at. Lamaze toys are fun with lots of different things to do and look at - and blocks and cups that stack together are good. She's still young though, so try not to worry too much. And don't compare - all babies are different and they all develop at their own rate.

Wow, thank-you so much, i feel so much better!

I knew she would be behind, but its good to hear its normal.

Ive been to a few groups and, to be honest, im staying away now becuase it was just full of mums telling me what she should be doing now. All of them were around the same age and some were weaned from 4 months old. One baby was 12 weeks premature and was on solids at 4 months.

I just thought I should be doing more really.

Thank-you!!

To be honest, she doesn't even sound in the least bit "behind" for 5 months, let alone 4 months corrected age.

There are plenty of people who weaned later than 4 months on here . Is there any reason you can see to start weaning now?

All my mum friends weaned bang on 16 weeks - luckily they completely accepted that I didn't and I wasn't made to feel the odd one out for still breastfeeding and not weaning. I weaned ds at 23 weeks, when he seemed ready (he fed himself a banana ) and stopped breastfeeding at 13 months when I was ready. Try not to worry about what anyone else does, just follow your instincts.

Hi, I would like to reassure you too. On the food front, it really hasn't caught on to the general population that early weaning can cause problems. You are better educated than the mums who wean at 4 months - pity them.

I'm on my second time at this and it is so much easier. DD1 (nearly 4) was always small and not as advanced as the other babies at this age. It seems to matter so much at the time, but now it makes no difference that she did things a few month later. The twins (9 months) were 5 weeks prem, one can sit unaided, the other can't at all. I would say your dd sounds similar to them at that age.

Don't worry about time on her back, as long as she has some tummy time each day. Mine spent most of their time under the babygym (this one here ) and dt2 still does. I also really love the jumperoo - it is an enormous extravagance but they love it so much, and I need somewhere to stash one baby while I change or play with the other. Don't feel that you need one to aid development, though - she will get their in her own time.

Did you spend any time in hospital with her after she was born - and have you been fully discharged or do you have check-ups with the paediatrician? Sometimes it takes an expert saying that she is fine to fully reassure you that everything is normal.

But they're not on solids because they're advanced or they were ready sooner. Their parents made that decision for them. Otherwise, sounds like your baby is fabulously normal.

I am a Mum of 5 and your baby sounds normal yes.My dd2 who is 10 months didnt sit up until about 7 months,hated tummy time and wouldnt lift her head for ages.She seemed to do everything at once then,sit up then hold up her head on her front and then crawled all in a week.She also didnt wean until way past 6 months as she wasnt keen.I just tried every few days and she got the hang of it.She still dosnt eat much though.They are all very different and if she had any problems they would also show themselves in other ways.Enjoy her and listen to your instincts and not other peoples advice.

Sitting unaided at 5 months would be unusual. I think it's only if they get to about 9 months and can't sit then HVs start to check out that there aren't any problems. Lots of time on her back is good! If you do that rather than put her in a bouncy chair etc., you actually don't need to worry too much about tummy time. I like this video of a baby's development through to crawling: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=D9Ko7U1pLlg It's much better for babies to develop naturally in their own time than to try to rush them.

At 5 months, she'll probably enjoy a few simple toys - maybe a cloth book or some plastic keys - or any objects that are safe and easy for her to grasp. Have a google for things like treasure baskets and heuristic play if you want inspiration. You can probably find quite a few things around the house that are suitable.

I think the hardest thing about waiting until 6 months to wean is that it is still quite unusual and lots of people will put you under pressure to wean earlier. However, weaning is actually quite hard work with all the cooking/food prep and cleaning so regardless of the guidelines, I'd recommend waiting! And if your DD is premature, you've got a good excuse to tell people.