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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

come and hang your heads with me...older children and tantrums

13 replies

yawningmonster · 01/12/2011 07:24

Please, please, please tell me I am not the only one who has an older child who still throws massive tantrums. (before you all slate me I have done numerous parenting courses, employed the strategies that are supposed to work etc, etc. I'm not necessarily after what I should have, should not have done. Just please tell me that there are others out there with this too. (DS does have hf aspergers but that doesn't actually make it easier to deal with iykwim) He is 7 btw.

OP posts:

Slightlyreluctantexpat · 01/12/2011 07:28

You are not the only one.

bigTillyMint · 01/12/2011 07:29

You have my sympathies

DS is 10 and still has occasional tantrums / rages - ranting and shouting at us. He is NT. They are only about once a month now and only last up to half an hour now, thank god, but they were probably once or twice a week at times, lasting up to an hour when he was 7.

They were awful - he was trying to put all his anger onto me (DH can ignore anything!) and I found it really hard to not react to him, especially over such a long time.

izzybiz · 01/12/2011 07:29

Definately not the only one.....

Original poster

yawningmonster · 01/12/2011 07:30

thank you expat, am still trembling after tonights performance as dd's childminders xmas party. Off to top off my wine glass

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 01/12/2011 07:30

9 and 12 years old. It's tantrumtastic round here sometimes. I often think it's like having toddlers again.

Original poster

yawningmonster · 01/12/2011 07:32

oh sorry didn't see tilly and izzy, thank you. Tilly thanks hopefully that means it will get better (in all honestly it is better than a couple of years ago but like you say maybe once or twice a week....so wearing

OP posts:

Slightlyreluctantexpat · 01/12/2011 07:43

Ahem, yes well OP, I'm talking 15 years old here ffs. Not me, DC4. Two major meltdowns last night. I'm sometimes at the end of my tether with her. I blame hormones, the heat and tiredness. At least these meltdowns are in our home, and not at CM's party as you had.

Original poster

yawningmonster · 01/12/2011 07:52

yes home is bad enough expat but ds is not discerning....but 15 please tell me it isn't so...I'm not sure if I'm up for another 8 years of this...faints and holds wine glass out to dh for gin to be added.

OP posts:

bigTillyMint · 01/12/2011 07:59

I don't remember DS having massive tantrums anywhere but home - poor you, ym. But it's probably because he "feels at home" there, which I guess is good

Original poster

yawningmonster · 01/12/2011 08:13

tilly in that case he feels at home anywhere, he is very unpredictable and any trip has the potential to descend into what we had tonight.
What was worse was the other parents had never met him before and of course were all gaping open mouthed in horror at the spectacle especially when he hid so that I didn't take him home and I had to put poor dd in the car and go back in and find him with the help of one of the younger children who had seen where he was. ARRRGGGHHH to top it off he was sobbing an apology before saying over and over "You said it was ok to feel angry, you told me, you told meeeeeee"

To his credit I DO airly standardly tell him after a meltdown that it was ok that he was cross/ angry etc BUT I also tell him that he needed to get that feeling out in an appropriate way

OP posts:

MudandRoses · 01/12/2011 22:40

you're not alone. DS 6 is a right pickle sometimes. Lots of growling, shouting, fists, throwing things, and devastated howling. Sigh.

TwinkleToes64 · 02/12/2011 10:28

My dd is 6 and i've been tearing my hair out with her behaviour recently!! The worrying thing is after speaking to my mum (who keeps a very detailed diary!) it would appear she has ALWAYS been like this :(

I'm getting to the point where i think she might have some underlying issues? Anyone think this or do you just put it down to being 'spirited'?!

boschy · 02/12/2011 10:49

My DD1 was awful for tantrums, and they did last quite long - not so much the terrible twos, we still had the terrible tens (!) I have to say though they did become much less frequent - say once every couple of months rather than once every couple of hours at her very worst.

I think her last was at about 11. She's 15 now, so we have teenage strops which are kind of the same thing really in lots of ways!

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