Is DS behaviour normal?

[whethergirl]

I?m not sure how worried to be about my ds and wondered if I could have some feedback.

DS is 6.5 and despite being a bright and articulate child, he is very behind with numeracy and literacy. However, he does have one to one sessions at school every day and IS showing improvement. He is well behaved.

He has problems getting to sleep, no matter how tired he is and yes, I?ve tried everything. He finds it difficult to switch off. This means he is tired a lot of the time.

He has been constipated for the last 4 months, doc has put him on Movocol and said it could still take a while to clear up ? just mentioning this as I wonder if this is not helping his sleeping.

He says he gets a buzzing/pressure in his ear that makes it difficult for him to concentrate. I?m not sure how much of this is because he is tired (or just doesn?t want to do his homework!) The school gave him a hearing test recently as they noticed he had problems concentrating, but all came back clear.

He used to have visual distortions, although he hasn?t had them for about a year, but thought I?d mention it. Things would get bigger and smaller in his vision. His actual eyesight is fine.

He says things like ?Sometimes I just don?t feel like I belong in this world. It?s a really strange feeling, like I?m not really here.? I told him that I feel like that sometimes and it?s ok to feel like that ? but should I be worried? He is generally a happy kid, although he has tendencies like any kids to be moany, grumpy and stroppy! He got upset during homework the other night, saying the other kids were ?cleverer? than him, and kept saying ?I don?t know what?s wrong with me!? I told him there was nothing wrong with him but he insisted ?I know there is something wrong with me but I don?t know what it is.?

He is my only child and sometimes I just don?t know whether to take it as ?normal? childhood with it?s usual ups and downs or whether I should be especially concerned?

Sorry - all I can say is; have you told your doctor all this? I do hope you get it sorted.

Last went to doc (not my usual doc) about the constipation and mentioned the sleeping, she told me to wait until the constipation was sorted and see if sleeping improves.

Took him to opticians about the visual distortions who claimed his eyesight was perfect.

But I'm thinking to get an appointment with my favorite doctor and mention all of these things at once. Thing is, although I'd obviously want to bring DS with me, I don't really want him hearing me talk about all this and enhance the feeling there is something wrong with him.

Yes, go without him, and write it all down before you go, it sounds patronising, but once you start telling him you could easily forget something. Good luck. x

i'd be asking them to monitor his blood pressure over an extended period tbh (they usually do it for 48 hrs i think - you just wear a monitor) i know someone who described similar hearing/ sight issues which was a problem with fluctuating bp... but not sure exactly what!

have you instigated toileting routine as well as the movicol etc?

but yes, i think an all round health check would be a good idea, and get a complete once over, describing the various symptoms. as there are concerns over learning difficulties, i would also ask if referral to developmental paediatrician would be helpful.

What do you mean by toileting routine? He just goes when the he has the urge!

Would never have thought about blood pressure! And good idea about referring to developmental paediatrician. Although I think that will probably be quite difficult to organise. Especially as he does football, tai kwon do and swimming without any major problems. I mean, yes he is a bit gangly but the coaches have never flagged anything up.

What about the things he says, does anyone else dc's say stuff like that? I wasn't expecting that kind of thing til he was a teenager tbh!

It sounds like migraine to me. The symptoms that present in children are different from those in adults, just like people find symptoms for women change after the menopause. Definitely go to the doctor but he might also benefit from relaxation exercises or yoga. The visual distortion sounds like Alice in Wonderland syndrome, a recognised symptom of migraine aura.

It is very hard for migraine sufferers to describe their symptoms, and I think his comment is actually about the best description of classical migraine I've heard. Migraine can also make you quite despairing which might explain his comments. I also find it impossible to work when suffering which would explain the homework. Although that sounds like normal six year old behaviour too!

Thanks prizewinningpig, I never thought of that as I've never had migraines myself. But surely along with other symptoms, he'd be complaining mainly of a really bad headache? So when you have a migraine do you actually have a strange almost "psychedellic" feeling? Honestly, some of the comments he come out, you'd think he was having hash cakes for breakfast! Also, does if affect your sleeping, and are these symptoms apparent only during the actual migraine?

Hi, Sounds like me as a child. Before I carry on, just let me say, please don't worry. I do believe there is a reason for all this and it can be sorted.

I can still remember and occasionally still get the same problem with things getting bigger and smaller. I have to say as an adult who is now able to understand and articulate this, it is the most difficult thing to get somebody else to understand. I shall try to keep this short.

The worst part of the day was late afternoon right through the evening and into the night and what I thought were my dreams. I would see things in my minds eye....it felt as if everything was shrunk too small........or would be too close to my face and make the vision fuzzy. I still get this when I am over tired. It actually makes me feel sick. (bet your lost now...stay with it). I felt a sense of not belonging to the oint of wondering why I was here (which continues today but I am addressing) and a lack of self esteme (I was not a high achiever at school) because I really thought there was something wrong with me. I could not get anyone to understand at the time but have managed to understand what was and does happen to me. Sometime the wierd vision comes along with a smell of static electricity.

All other areas of my life were perfectly normal. I never saw a doctor or had any medical intervention until later life.

I fully believe that I was suffering from Migraines. The give away is the smell although not all sufferers get that. I know when I am going to get a migraine when I get the smell or the wierd minds eye sight issues. I take medication bought over the counter and ride it out. The "feeling like I don't belong" issue was a little harder to undertand. I am now a member of my church which has given me the knowledge that I do actually belong and I do have a purpose. I have suffered from depression I believe since childhood and even sometimes felt like I was going mad. My doctor is aware of this but I am on medication for that which helps enormously.

I don't want to upset or worry you, but I do think you need to have a really good chat with your doctor. If I could have had someone who understood everything that was happening to me I would have saved myself many years of upset and confusion. Please let us know how you get on and let your DS know that you are on his side and doing all you can to help him. You are listening and that is the best thing you can do for him.

Good luck and sorry about the lecture.

Strange as it may seem, Migraine does not necessarily involve head pain!
This is particularization true of children.
The visual symptoms and ear buzzing may both be Aura, feeling a bit weird and out of it also fits.

I get aura, zig-zag flashing lights, spaced-out feeling, numbness (often same side of head that the headache will develop in), stomach pain, but less than half the time this develops into head pain.

Hi there, like oldmum42 I suffer with migraines but they also don't always present themselves as headaches - I suffer with visual aura - flashing lights, spaced out etc. Will get stomach ache and sweats. Then maybe hours later get a headache that is more akin to feeling a preassure tightening of my head.

I also suffer with benign positional vertigo - pretty sure I've had it since a child but only got diagnosed about 7 years ago (early 30's) Travel sickness tablets and simple head exercises really help.

You need a bright switched on doctor.

Thank you for your honesty barbet1904, I really appreciate you taking the time to explain your experience, I welcome any personal accounts as it could make all the difference in helping ds, and it's good to be informed as much as possible of similiar expereinces.

I just asked him again about the visual distortions, he said he doesn't get the bigger/smaller ones anymore, but says he gets something else which he has always had ever since he can remember. He says he sees different transparent shapes (he drew some for me, crosses, swirly shapes) which eventually dissappear or vanish when he reaches out for them. He says he especially gets them when he is outside. But he doesn't get headaches. And no smell.

barbet1904, I've also had episodes of depression throughout my life which is now under control with anti depressants. I really hope and don't think he has low self esteem - when he said he felt that the other kids were cleverer than him, it was the first time he said something like this (normally he is telling me how good he is at things) which I put down to the fact that he has just realised why he gets pulled out of class for one to one lessons.

I spoke with his numeracy tutor yesterday who told me that he seemed very sensitive to noise i.e. he would get distracted by the sound of another classroom in the distance, or the clock ticking. I suppose this could be migraine related. The thing is, there are no tests to show up migraine symptoms so not sure how the doc would diagnose.

He does ask a lot of questions about the 'meaning of life', and I'm quite a spiritual person so I always chat and answer his questions whilst telling him that different people believe different things, (leaving it open for him to choose). I'm glad you're in a better place now barbet1904. Thanks for your good wishes. .

I was going to post this on AIBU to get more responses but...you know what it's like. Everyone attacks and tries to twist things in a negative light, it's like you're giving everyone permission to be as critical and insulting as they want!

Wow, it's really sounding like migraine is a possibility. Also he does get tummy aches - but these are because he is constipated.

I showed him some migraine aura images, he said his was similiar to www.randalgibson.com/migraine-headache-aura/ except his shapes were more transparent (and 'bubbly') and not bright, and not as squiggly i.e. the shapes are more separate.

I've just made an appt with one of the really good docs at my surgery, for Dec 20th. I do feel so much better for thinking there might be an explanation to all of this!

I've also just read this on the internet:

"Some people experience diarrhea or constipation along with their migraines.
Diarrhea and constipation are often seen in children with migraines."

DS gets constipation AND diarrhea!

Whethergirl - hope the dr is helpful. Got to dash but just to say stomach problems definitely an aspect of migraine. You could read Oliver Sacks migraine book which is really interesting but doesn't really mention children. I think your comment about him being quite a sensitive inquisitive child really rings bells - he obviously experiences things intensely and can't find his off button. But as he grows he will learn to look after himself more, relax more and know when to (try and)switch off his worries. He definitely has a someone who is helping him and understanding him, which I think is the most important thing. I think he sounds fascinating with his questions.

Thanks prizewinningpig. You hit it on the head, he does seem to experience things intensely and really can not find his off button.

Last night he was doing homework on the computer, he was getting a bit stressed out because he got a few questions wrong (he's a bad loser!) and then he told me that the computer didn't make his eyes feel very good. I asked him how and he told me it felt like there was "a little man" punching him behind his eyes!

I think I might email my doctor in advance of the appointment and ask whether or not I should come with ds or not. I want to talk openly but don't want ds to get too conscious.

Coming from a completely different angle, from my own experiences...

Ds2 has autism, NOT saying that your ds does at all! But there are some specific things that rang some bells, and I firmly believe that lots of us who are certainly not diagnosable can share some aspects, so

Ds2 is now gluten and dairy free. He became much more present, there is a theory that some of the molecules in those foods can latch on to opiate receptors in the brain in some people, especially if there are gut issues too. He won't touch gluten containing foods now, because they'make his head feel funny'. I've pretty much given them up too, if I eat them I definitely feel less 'clear'.
He also takes melatonin, the sleep hormone. He started sleeping through the night, every night, at eleven years old, from the first time he took the melatonin, having NEVER in his life slept all night before. I do believe that just t he lack sleep had a huge, huge effect on him.
None of this might resonate for you at all, but I didn't wAnt to not post.

I'm so glad you did post post (!) as I want as many possible explanations as possible to go to the doctor with. Everything has crossed my mind, including autism, although I'm not at all eager to label him or self diagnose or even make any presumptions. However ds is very communicative verbally, his teachers often mention how articulate he is. I've also wondered if he might have some sort of dyslexia that is holding him back with school work. Although I'm equally as happy to accept he might just be behind and not as developed - I also don't want to miss anything that might be important.

I do believe that there are probably a lot of very mild cases of autism and similiar that present themselves differently in different people, and may be too mild to be diagnosed but might just make life a little more difficult.

I had no idea about the food theory, that's very interesting. I'm glad you got to the root of things with your ds.

Yes, the description of the visual disturbances sounds like my (limited) experience of migraine - and I don't always get headaches either.

by toileting routine i meant he sits on the toilet at the same time every day - usually twice a day, after breakfast and dinner. a stricter routine is usually recommended with movicol etc, particularly where constipation has been present for a period and may be leading to encopresis.

i had benign positional vertigo, as it happens. mm, bit similar. might be that too. i only get bog standard migraines though.