How to deal with hair pulling etc?

[madmomma]

My 13 month old son has quite a habit of pulling other people's hair (as well as his own). He also likes to push other children, which understandably they aren't keen on. I know he's very young, but I really don't want him to get into bad habits or be the thuggish child at playgroup etc. Not sure how to handle it in an age appropriate way really. So far I've just been telling him sternly that 'we don't pull hair' and that 'we touch people gently', but I don't think he gets it. If he pulls my hair I put him down straight away and let him cry for a minute. No idea what else to do really. Any ideas?

Best to carry on explaining simply in a firm voice, but also add in removing him from any situation. Its a sort of pre-time out. Tell him no and why and then pick him up and remove him to the other side of the room and walk away. If it is your hair he has pulled - ignore him for 1 full minute. If it is another child's hair he has pulled, ignore him for one minute, but make a big fuss of the other child.

This technique does have to be repeated a few times for them to get the message.

Hope it helps.

Thanks Lucy - that's kind of where I was going I think.

No worries - the ignoring bit is quite hard the first couple of times - especially if they are crying. I used to have to look away from my DS and sing to myself in my head lol.

Madmomma, my DS2 started pulling hair at around the same age. He later moved on to pushing :(

It's a very frustrating time for you. I tried saying NO firmly, removing him from the other child, putting him down when he did it to me, trying to prevent him if I could catch it in time. Later on when he was a bit older I would make him say sorry, and (after one warning) take him home from toddler groups etc if he hurt another child.

To be honest, I'm not sure how effective any of these methods are - I think some children just go through this phase. Sorry! However, it's really important that you keep trying - partly because you need to demonstrate to other mothers that you are taking this seriously, and partly because he will eventually be old enough to understand discipline and you won't quite know when this will happen.

My DS2 is now 26m and has recently grown out of it (touch wood!).

mum Oh joy - to all of the above!

I know - sorry!! My DS2 is a lovely little boy in every other way if that helps - very sweet and affectionate, and really enjoys the company of other children (despite appearances)!