Can't cope with DS!!

[MudAndGlitter]

He's 2.9 and recently has become erm let's say challenging! Everything is a battle, if we go out he runs off, doesn't listen to anything and the naughty mat is having little effect. He answers back constantly, blows raspberries or just shouts at me. I'm at the end of my tether and just feel like I spend all day shouting instead of playing with him and DD.
Any tips, suggestions or parenting books that might help? Before I go crazy.

Think it's what 2-3 yr olds do.
I am trying to be consistent and following up on my threats. Eg 'If you don't stop throwing sand, we're leaving the park'. He didn't stop, so we went home and I was as gutted as him!
Hasn't done it since though.

Lots of distraction too. When you feel a tantrum coming on say 'Well I never, I'm sure I saw a lion behind the sofa, let's go and check' Or something like that to diffuse situation before it gets worse.

As ds2 is my second i'm also learning to choose my battles carefully.
He's had frozen peas for breakfast as I can't be arsed with forcing him to eat porridge today if he doesn't feel like it.

You are not alone and it does get better.

I could have written your post when DS was that age. My friends who had been there gave me lots of, "This was a difficult age, I remember," I comments.

I'll add to the wowoo's advice by saying you can give yourself time outs to. If you feel that you're just reacting with built up anger to a small infraction, make sure he's safe and then take yourself to your bedroom, toilet, kitchen for 5-10 minutes. Walk away!

Make sure he's not hungry. Hungry plus cranky equals bad times for both of you. Be aware of when he's tired too. DS dropped his afternoon nap around 2.5 (my beloved "coffee break!") but after 3pm became his "cranky time." If I became aware of the triggers (tiredness, hunger) ahead of the time it became less frustrating for me, I could plan certain things around them. I would never meet up for playdates after 3pm as I knew it would tiredly and horribly.

He's 3.7 now and it really does get better, but I had several guilty moments when he was the age of OP's DS when I privately admitted to myself that I often hated parenting and I felt like I was always telling him off.