DD (1) wants DS's food, not her own.

[Jacksterbear]

Mealtimes are a complete disaster atm. DD pushes away her own food and points at/tries to grab/cries for DS's food.

It is EXACTLY THE SAME food, prepared and presented in EXACTLY THE SAME way and in an IDENTICAL bowl/plate etc.

We have tried showing/telling her it's the same, letting her taste DS's so she knows it's the same, letting her feed herself, giving her cutlery to try, swapping over the plates, etc, but she still just wants what he has.

Neither of them end up eating, because DS (4) just gets cross and upset with DD and says he doesn't want his food, by which time DD is cross and upset and won't touch either plate of food.

Anyone been through this and have any words of advice??

This sounds rubbish!

I was thinking that maybe your DD is thriving on the attention she gets at mealtimes - if you're all focused on her eating her food and explaining/cajoling continually?

Maybe you could try and present her with her food and then leave it at that. Tell her calmly that there is no discussion, she can eat HER food or not and this is her choice and then start a non-food related family conversation. If she starts demanding then ignore her - even if it means that she doesn't eat at that mealtime. I know this might seem harsh but I think she might quickly get the message that mealtimes do not revolve around her and she is the only one that is going to lose out if she chooses not to eat. I remember Jo Frost taking this approach on a Supernanny episode and it worked really well.

Good luck!

I agree with ICKAGP - ignore your DDs demands and give DS loads of praise and attention for eating nicely. She'll soon get the message.

Thanks for your thoughts - good idea probably to stop making a fuss and giving her so much attention - I hadn't looked at it that way.

sympathies because we had exactly the same problem. Ds adores his baby sister but having to have his food prechewed (she gave half of it back after) is going too far. And all the fuss and mucking him around did piss him off and it wasn't fair on him.

so in the end we gave her her food and ignored her. It did work eventually. At 15 months she does it occassionally still but will usually give in when she realises its her dinner or nowt.

Thanks TheArmadillo, that's good to know!

We had this with ds, he always wanted our food even though it was the same. We did what you did, swapped plates, let him taste a bit, showed him his and all the rest of it but the only thing that worked was ignoring him. If he pushed his plate away and screamed for our food, we ignored him. He soon got the message and would start picking at his own food. We still have the odd meal time where he screams and screams but we just ignore.