why is my five year old so angry?

[oranges]

ds seems to have developed the ability to switch his mood on a pinhead. We'll be having a lovely day, he'll be well rested and well fed and something tiny or sometimes nothing at all will make him flip, and he will start going on about "you are so horrible to me" and "you always annoy me, I hate you." wtf does this stuff come from? and what do I do about it? it's hard not to feel genuinely hurt sometimes by the stuff he comes out with.

please don't take it personally, he really doesn't understand the full impact of his words, saying that though, you can tell him that he hurts your feelings, but not labour the point, iyswim.

i would talk to him when he is calm about his outbursts, and ask him what he means and how he feels.

have to run now hth a bit

well. He was going on and on, and I felt I was going to explode so instead I out my coat and shoes on, thinking I'd just pop out for a walk (dh is at home ) I wasn't abandoning him). Cue wails of "please don't go, I love you." So I sat back down, gave him a cuddle and ended crying a bit. He;s now much calmer, and nicer, but I feel a bit ridiculous for crying!

it's okay to cry!

i think strong emotions are difficult to manage for anybody, adults, let alone children. the best you can do is help him handle his feelings without hurting other people - this is the key. dd, who is 9, is incredibly emotional and i have found it really really hard to cope with and have not always behaved as I should have done. Now if I feel the situation is escatling one of has to leave the room, then afterwards when all is calm i try to talk about what happened. Funnily enough i find 4yo ds1's outbursts much easier to handle.
i tell him to punch a cushion, or ask him why he is so upset.

have confidence in yourself and what you expect from your ds. don't be afraid of anger - it's an emotion nothing more nothing less.

thank you! I watched my actions today and realised I often start talking to him then switch off half way through, to check the phone or the baby or something. ANd his faced changed every time he realised I wan't really listening. So I'm going to try focusing on him while we talk and see if that helps.