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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

ds, nearly two, hits me in face and thinks it's funny_HELP!!

20 replies

alibo · 05/01/2006 22:32

ds at the moment thinks nothing of swiping me accross the face, and just laughs when told off. Even when i get really cross with him, it doesn't bother him in the slightest!?! Tonights bedtime was a disaster;, he clobbered me on the cheek, put him down, told him off, sternly not shouting, as this just makes him shout back. He then started swinging his snuggly rabbit in my face, so i took it off him, he then threw himself face down on carpet, then started sobbing and made himself sick!! How can i tell him off when he's naughty when he thinks everythings a big joke!!??

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oops · 05/01/2006 22:42

Message withdrawn

SoniaL · 05/01/2006 22:46

We had the same problem with ds but not to the extent that you have. We punish him with the naughty step and we found that putting him on the naughty step when he hit me or others really worked. Yes he went through the tantrums, screaming, crying and making himself sick but only for the first few time. Once he got the message and understood that we would not tolerate that sort of behaviour he stopped the hitting. He still does it now and again and goes straight back onto the naughty step. Its horrible to watch them work themselves up when you try to disipline them but it really does pay in the end.

Original poster

alibo · 05/01/2006 22:53

thanks guys, think will try to ignore him after telling him he shouldn't hit mummy. He isn't talking yet except for a few words, so not sure he would understand a naughty step at the moment. Normally when told off he just laughs, todddles off and carries on regardless, he only had the tantrum tonight as i took his precious comfort rabbit off him! Then felt so guilty as he made himself sick crying!

OP posts:

oops · 05/01/2006 22:58

Message withdrawn

nannyme · 05/01/2006 23:12

They have to be pretty young not to 'get' the naughty step. if he can toddle off he can do naughty step.

Ignoring should work pretty well, but make time to express to him that the hitting, etc. is unacceptable though.

Have you heard of 'I Messages'?

Original poster

alibo · 05/01/2006 23:37

mmm oops, i really wouldn't normally take it off him, but i just saw red as after slapping ny face he then proceeded to swipe me across the face with the bloomin rabbit! may have to think of an alternative place to have a naughty step, as ours are open plan and perching on the stairs is one of his little play places. how i would get him to sit still there for more than 2 seconds would also be a problem!!

OP posts:

oops · 05/01/2006 23:51

Message withdrawn

QueenVictoria · 05/01/2006 23:54

I do the ignoring thing and walk away or do time out for my 2 year old DD.

SoniaL · 07/01/2006 17:50

Being swiped with a rabbit is not much fun. I know as DS has one himself. As an alternative to the naughty step try a naughty corner or chair or something like that. If he will not stay there then you have to keep putting him back until he understands that he can only get off or move away when you tell him. Even if he gets upset it is worth perservering. As a punishement we find it is very effective and we only use it for really bad behaviour.

Original poster

alibo · 11/01/2006 23:17

thanks for advice guys; funnily enough have not tried out any of the ideas as since said rabbit incident there has been no more slapping! .In fact following morning when getting him out of his cot, he was just about to give me a mischievous swipe, when i put his hand down and said NO, we're having no hitting of mummy today are we? He looked at me, shook his head and then gave me a big kiss! Bless!

OP posts:

BABY2 · 12/01/2006 21:57

can anyone help
my ds was 2 at begining of jan, he also hits and has terible tantrams when things dont go how he wants (eg can not get a toy man in his car) he wont be shown how to do it just get's very angry. I dont know if i should be telling him off for been norty or if it is total fustration. if he dose somthing wrong i have tryed the norty corner, he just screems and wont sit down so i sit holding him facing away from me for 2 mins.
then explain why we have done it and ask him to say sorry and he gives me a hug, but today when i have told him we are going to the norty corner he has said sorry straight away and asked for cuddles.
should i still go to the norty corner if he wants to say sorry and stop straight away.

nellie245 · 12/01/2006 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Passionflower · 12/01/2006 22:14

Snap oops

Meanoldmummy · 12/01/2006 23:17

I have a similar problem with ds2, 16mo... he swipes at me, loses his temper violently, has bruised my face with his little right hook, and has been known to pick his entire dinner up and sling it at the wall in protest! The other day during afternoon nap her BROKE OUT of his cot.. actually dismantled it - I walked in to find a pile of sticks on the floor and him trying to undo the window. DS1 is 3,4 and is bright, cocky and runs rings around me, but I never had trouble like this with him!! Cue Jaws theme.....

He is the cutest little muffin though

Carameli · 13/01/2006 13:02

My dd(2 last Oct.) also went through a phase similar to all these. She went through a phase of hitting us and thinking it was really funny. So we did the usual supernanny stuff and told her firmly to her face that we didn't like it and if she did it again--naughty step.

It worked fine for a while but then it just didn't seem to bother her at all going on the naughty step. I found that REALLY frustrating. But my mum told me to keep on with it and not to give in just yet. So we did and put her on the step and walked away from her so that we were not even giving her attention while she was on it.
This worked and I am glad to say that the hitting has stopped. She now has a much greater understanding about when she is not behaving. I just have to give her a look or say Don't.... and she replies don't scream, don't shout....

BABY2 · 13/01/2006 13:07

he tends to egnore warnings and is only sorry at the thret of the naughty corner if i allow the cuddles and accept the sorry then That makes me feel like i am rewarding him with cuddle and giving attention for his naughty behavior,

Marne · 13/01/2006 13:14

DD has also started doing this, she's 23 months, she smacks me in the face and when i shout she just laughs and shouts back. this morning she has been at her worst, she has hit me at least 5 times which has resaulted in time out, this seem's to of had some effect and she has'nt tried it since. She is usually a calm well behaved child and she only does this to me not dh. What am i doing wrong? How can i get her to listen to me?

Meanoldmummy · 13/01/2006 13:29

You're not doing anything wrong Marne, it's just her age... it's horrendous but it;s not your fault. The time out is working which is great! She does it to you because she trusts you, which is also great, and is probably the reason why your discipline is working, albeit not instantly. Stick at it!!

DS2 (16mo) has just belched in my face, on purpose, because he wanted to hit me but both his hands were occupied. Give me strength!!!

kbaby · 13/01/2006 21:42

we have the same problem with 19 month DD. If you tell her off she hits you. Telling her off has no effect whats so ever.
Last night she wanted the tv on and I said no so she threw her book on the floor, threw her doll on the floor and a horse at the tv, pulled her own hair and then came up to me to hit me. I did lose it a bit with her as after each thing I had told her off and that hitting is naughty etc etc but it didnt have any effect.
I think I will have to start naughty step.
From what age can it work though?

SoniaL · 19/01/2006 21:45

As soon as they are old enough to know that they are in the wrong or that their behaviour is unacceptable you use the naughty step.

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