helping my young children learn to share - ideas and tips please

[mckenzie]

I started by calling this message "Teaching my childrent o share" but then remembered reading somewhere that you can't actually teach a child to share. Is that right?

I have a 4 and a half year old DS and a 10 month old DD.
DS trys to take away just about any baby toy that DD shows an interest in (granted they are mainly his old toys) and DD obviously can't really do much about it except cry.
DD is interested in anything that DS is playing with but then DS will snatch everything of his away from her.
So the bottom line basically is that DS wants his own toys to be just his and DD's toys to be both of theirs.
How can I try and get them both on the right track to sharing somethings but also accepting that somethings are sacred and aren't for sharing. I can't really expect DS to share his electrical train set for example as DD was just reck it at the age she is now.

Help and advise needed please. I dont want to make a mistake with this topic now as I know it's going to be a issue for the foreseable future!

bump

Yes, sharing will be an issue for a little while yet ...

Instead of using the word "sharing", you could try "dd's turn" and "ds' turn" which is sort of easier for them to understand. And be outrageously delighted when ds gives in to dd. Dd might be a bit young to understand "taking turns" but you could teach ds to give dd an alternative toy if dd takes something off him.

As for sacred cows, in the same vein as childproofing, they should be out of reach of dd - can ds keep it in his room?

we use turns a lot iswim, tend to do it regardless of whose toy it us. sometimes do it with teh timer on the cooker! ie "I'm going to set the timer for 5 minutes then when it goes off it's time to swap" etc obviously this will go over your dd's head but could work for ds. It's good coz it is extremely fair - and you kind of take the decision as to when it's time to swap out of your hands - they trust the timer and you don't risk being arbitrary. not sure if it teaches anything but it avoids arguments