why is it all such a %$£&ing battle

[fancyhat]

I came home at 5.30. Nanny didn't leave til about 6.00. I then cut out the letters of the word thank-you in brightly coloured paper - with "help" of dds. Put letters on floor whilst persuading dds to dress up in their new Ethiopian dresses - which were gifts from someone in Ethiopia and play with their Eithiopian tea sets (also gifts) so I could take a photo. DD2 REFUSES to wear dress. i get in rage - if someone you've never met who lives in a house smaller than your bedroom buys you a present you can $£%"&^& well wear it and have your photo taken. tbh I loose it as she was being SO foul. Eventually compromise and photo gets taken without dress. dds in bath. Piss about on computer printing photos. Get them to make cards. get dd1 to write in cards. teeth, story bed. all in all this has taken over 2 and a half hours of constant battling. I'm fed up to the back blumin teeth of everything taking so blumin long and being a constant fight. and now dh will come home any minute and wonder why there's no dinner and what I've been doing since 5.30. and I feel guilty coz I don;t expcet kind soul in Ethiopia would be particularly impressed with me being in a rage when I have, in the scheme of things, got bugger all to whinge about. right rant over. thankk you mn

Gosh fancyhat, sounds like you have been through an epic struggle. How old are your dds?

Dear fancyhat, I know just how you feel as tonight's tidy up/bath/bedtime was like going 10 rounds with Joe Frazier. If you were nearby I'd pass you a glass from the bottle I've just opened!

This is mad fancyhat. Look, I've been there. Yelling at ds for not posing for a picture as a thank you. It's not a good idea. The rage is so out of proportion to the 'offence'. It's not foul. She's just a child. She can have no conception that this dress came from Ethiopia or the relative economics of the two countries. And she didn't ask for it and she doesn't want it. I'm sure the person who gave the gift would be much more horrifed that their gift made you shout at your kids! As I say, I have been there, felt the guilt and resolved never to do it again.

Aloha - you are so right. I felt awful tbh. It was a pile of crap and it was my fault. dd2 is difficult though and it was one of those cases where I so wish I hadn't started off insisting coz I backed myself into one of those corners when you feel you can't back down. On the one hand I suspect I do expect too much of her - being dd2 it's difficult not to compare her with dd1 who, obviously, is older, but is of a different disposition. But she is honestly in danger of thinking that screaming/shouting is the solution. She stops shoppers in their tracks with her demands - and they come out of nowhere - she only has two settings: gorgeous, cuddly and very funny or rage-fuelled, and shouting. And I really do mean shouting. Don't know why I'm wibbling on about this, just having a tough time at the moment. layered with guilt. it's a phase it's a phase it's a phase.

oh shit, now i just want to go home and give her a cuddle. feel very crap.