Low self esteem?

[Oneandnomore]

DD is 6. She is a confident, bright, happy little girl and DH and I are very proud of her. We use positive praise and she generally has good behaviour.

I play what I call the hands up game when in the car with her, eg put your hand up if you're clever, beautiful, pain in the bum etc.

We hadn't played this for a while until a couple of weeks ago, and I said put your hand up if you are beautiful. DD didn't put her hand up. I asked her why and she shrugged and said she isn't beautiful. I didn't make an issue of it, thinking she was just in a strange mood.

Tonight, DH was settling her in bed, casually said "go to sleep pretty girl" and she replied "I am not pretty, not one little bit."

I asked her why she thinks like that, and she got a little upset, said she just isn't pretty. We gave her lots of cuddles and reassurance and she settled ok.

I can't understand why she is thinking this way. I asked her if anyone has said something to her and she says not, but I am not convinced.

Has anyone else come across this please? How best to help her?

Mine does similar and I must say that they know at age 6 how to push buttons. she will see your cresfallen face and enjoy the extra attention....hence her trying it on with DH.

If I were you I would do as I do and breezily dismiss her with a chirpy "What nonsense...we both know you are gorgeous." and move onto an entirely different subject...no petting or reassurance....

It's a trap that many people fall into and she'll pull it on other people including her mates when she is older. "oh Im not pretty." Cue "Oooh yes you are! Yes you are!"

But that's an unattractive trait and the first line of your OP tells everything you need to know...she's confident, bright and happy.

Is she happy at school? is there any chance she may be being name-called?

I wouldn't lay too much stress on it, to be honest. There are far more important things than outward appearance.

No good advice, I'm afraid, but just to say that my 4yo DD has started doing the same thing occasionally. I posted about it here a little while ago. What I have noticed is that the second and third times she has said it have both been when it's lights out, mummy's-going-downstairs time, and I think she knows that this comment (I'm not beautiful) will upset me, get me embroiled in a conversation and put bedtime off for another 10 minutes. So, although I am upset by it and understand why you are, I think, as others have suggested, that there may be an element of attention-seeking in it.