Fed up with the daily battles

[pigleychez]

DD1 aged 3 has become a complete nightmare over the past few weeks. I really am at the end of my teether with her. Im so drained by the constant battles and arguments. She's always been a stubborn little madam but everything is no a blatant NO.
She also fights continually with her sister 18mths from the moment they wake at 7am.. I know sibling rivalry and all that but its just sooooo draining!

Prime example tonight, Wanted her new (electric) toothbrush in the bath, was told no and explained why but obviously not what she wanted to hear. Then refused to continue her bath complete with full on screaming at the top of her voice. Nothing would stop her so ended with DH scooping her out the bath and putting her to bed with her screaming in his face. She just completely ignores you.

Any advice, suggestions before I complete lose the plot!?

I think when you've got 2 very small children, you have to take the path of least resistance, otherwise you will melt.

so decide what is totally unacceptable for you. mine is fighting and or hurting each other. also quite hot on sharing and being thoughtful. this is all i can maintain, and that's hard enough.

i would have let her have the toothbrush.
if she broke it, that would have been her problem, and it might have had the added bonus that she might listen to you next time you tell her to do or not do something.

feel for you. it's bloody hard work at times

Mine are a little older than yours but I found the book Toddler Taming really helpful. It explains how their minds work and what's reasonable to expect from children which helped me gain a bit of perspective. The only other thing is that now mine are 3 and 4.5, the younger one is much better behaved than her big sister because she sees that it won't get her anywhere. But if DD1 is really pushing it and going through a whingy/naughty patch, DD2 will copy her like a little sheep. It's hard, but choose your battles and stick to your guns (not sure what I'd have done about the toothbrush, but once I'd said no she definitely wouldn't have got it so well done on not giving in).

Good luck

I hear you

I have 2 dd's same age
My dd1 bright and string willed and I have days with her where I just want to run away...

What I find helps if I do one on one time with my 3 year old and give her controlled choices

What do you want for dinner, jacket potato or pasta?
What do you want to play puzzles or paints?

Things I know she likes and I dint mind her having. Do you see how it works?
It sounds like your dd1 is trying to get control so give it to her in your own way

Playful Parenting is also good for how to stop everything being a horrible battle and has a section on sibling rivalry too. He suggests having scheduled 1 on 1 time with each child were they have complete control over what you play (obviously basic rules about safety still apply) to give them a chance to get the control freakness out of their system. Also butterfly's point about small everyday choices is really good.

With the toothbrush I would have offered a compromise ie normal toothbrush now and electric when you get out and then distracted eg let's get out some bubble wands, add food colouring to the bathwater or eat some messy fruit in the bath etc.