What would you do about 14 month old DD and her infuriating independence when it comes to food?

[ohbugrit]

I have never known a child to be so damned independent, to the point where she pretty much won't eat even when she's ravenous, unless she feeds herself.

Every mealtime is the same - she gets totally distracted, starts experimenting with pouring her water into her bowl and mixing everything around, throws food over her shoulder, eats next to nothing and refuses spoons. If i load spoons she pings them. If i let her do it herself she stirs it up and spoons it all over the table and doesn't eat it. Then half an hour later she's crying for food. And she's still BFing tons day and night.

I'm honestly not being uptight about mess - she's my second BLW baby - but it's very wearing. Don't think it's teeth as she will often gobble a few big mouthfuls before deciding she'd rather smear it in her hair (again).

Any suggestions? :)

Would it help to just give her a few mouthfuls at a time and top her bowl up as she needs more? And keep her cup out od the way and just give it to her when she's finished eating.

I thought that was normal for blw.
Since I didn't do blw, feel that it's ridiculously over-hyped, I would just give her a very small amount of food & try to spoonfeed & if she wouldn't let me then I'd clean her up, not provide any more food, put her down & let her run off & do other things for a while.

I also let mine eat when walking around (breadsticks, rice cakes). Even if means some crumbs dropped around the place.

Am a slacker, really, but I couldn't handle blw either!

in OP's case I might also get a dog to help with clean up.

Put some plastic down, leave her to it and get the camera out Also try less messy foods and things she can pick up eg chips, burgers (home made ones), lumps of fish etc, pasta etc so she can get some food in.

Toddlers wrist bones don't harden quite yet so spoons can be quite difficult for them to use.

Also try giving more snacks between meals too.

We were told by DS's dietician to encourage self feeding because around your DD's age they'll get more independent and won't want to self feed.

Agree with small fist size chunks, little & often.

Also a sleeved bib!

Wipe the highchair tray with anti-bac & put food direct on to it, no bowl or spoon.

Have two dogs and a vulture cat

She loves spoons, insists on having a selection every mealtime, just likes to play stirring with them. We're encouraging her to stab chunks with a fork but the coordination isn't quite there.

We do snack lots, so that helps, but she is clearly hungry much of the time.

I guess I'm frustrated in general - she's serio
usly high maintenance, poor sleeper, delightful but short-fused. DH and I were just discussing the other night how hard we're finding things right now. Doesn't help that she demolished a bowl of pasta for him yesterday then slept for 2.5 hours, so it's so hard not to pressurise her to eat more.

Thank you all for the perspective though. This too shall pass ...?!

Bossy, we abandoned the high chair a few months ago when she discovered how to get out of it and i caught her crawling across the kitchen table! So dinner goes on a plastic plate or directly onto the table

crawling across the kitchen table Love it!!

We had a fidgety exploring DD2 like that-it's a wonder she survived todderhood!!

Directly on to the table can work - get a large plastic placemat, maybe with her favourite characters on ? It can then be swabbed down easily (secure with blue-tac!)

As you say "this too shall pass" - my mantra (usually rocking in the corner) was "it's only a phase....it's only a phase....

Yes, she's an adrenaline junkie it seems. Caught her climbing into, yes into her cot the other day, having used a stool of DS's to access a chair and a cupboard. I swear I was in the loo for less than a minute.

Grey hairs are coming thick and fast.

I wouldnt worry about it, completely normal by the sound of it. Try giving food that isnt messy shes still experimenting with cause and effect. As for forks and spoons their wrists arent developed enough to manage the spoon properly comes at about 18months as for forks DD who is 2\is only just managing them frequntly now.

Take comfort that you are BF so she is getting nutrients that way. The more streesd you get the worse itll be. Shell grow out of it...at this age my DD would 'wash' with her porridge.

Give her finger food, 2 or three bits at a time. And show her how to 'stab' with a fork.

dd2 is 12 mo and doesn't have her own bowl as she tips it onto her head.
i look after her bowl, and serve 4-5 chunks from it straight onto the (clean) dining table
she gets more chunks of stuff when she's eaten what's in front of her.
very often when she's finished eating at the table she will eat up some of the stuff she's dropped on the (less clean) floor, to which we turn a blind eye. good for the immune system and all that....