Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

DS refuses to go for a wee when he clearly needs to go...driving me mad!

10 replies

Greedygirl · 23/11/2011 18:05

My DS (4 yo) will wriggle and jiggle about for sometimes up to an hour before he will admit he needs a wee and go to the loo. This cannot be good for him can it? Also it drives me insane! Is this normal? Should I just ignore it?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
skewiff · 23/11/2011 20:06

Yes my DS does exactly the same. He goes a whole day at school without weeing, nearly every single day. Even when we go to the park after school, he'll not wee until he gets back home.

The same for poo. I actually have to tell DS when to poo now, because he can't tune into his own body.

He was OK with poo-ing before school, he's always wanted to be in real private, but could tell when he needed to go. Now its like he just doesn't seem to know/realise.

It drives me crazy because the whole needing to wee thing makes his behaviour chaotic.

I think it is very usual and lots of kids do this. But I don't want to ignore it. However I don't know what to do to make things better.

All I do at the moment is remind DS to wee at school everyday - and often this helps. And I tell DS to do a poo every evening before the bath and then he does.

Not sure if this is good/bad ... if I see DS jiggling about I say to him 'you can't have such and such (if he was about to eat something, or play with something) until you've gone and done a wee.

Again, I'm not sure if this is good practice or not, but it makes me feel relieved when he's gone, and I'm sure he feels relieved too.

Greedygirl · 23/11/2011 20:30

Yes I bribe him to go too but wondered if I was just making the problem worse by (a) drawing attention to it and (b) not letting him recognise the signs for himself. But he knows the signs he just won't blooming go!! He has also started doing this with poos. Nice to know I am not on my own though!

OP posts:
Greedygirl · 23/11/2011 20:31

I only have to look at him a certain way now and he says "I don't need a wee mum, I'm just dancing/running/jumping/copying the man off the telly etc., etc." arrghhhhhhhhhh!

OP posts:
Collision · 23/11/2011 20:32

My ds will be 10 in April and still does this. His eyes actually water with desperation and then he runs to the loo and-sprays-wee-everywhere

skewiff · 25/11/2011 13:42

Yes, DS says 'I'm just dancing' too - I spoke to other mums in the playground the other day though and they said their children do it too. And some of them are much older.

I was hoping it might stop once he's about 5/6, but maybe it won't ...

wolfhound · 25/11/2011 13:48

My 4yo DS does this too! (with wee, not with poo). I got fed up with trying to persuade him to go, so a couple of weeks ago, I told him I wasn't going to make him go to the loo any more, it was up to him to go when he wanted.

He still goes absolutely ages between trips to the loo, but he hasn't had many accidents. And I do tell him to go before long car trips, and he goes willingly. I think it had become a bit of a control issue.

It still drives me a bit mad, but I am trying not to let him see it, in the hope that it will sort itself out...

Gigondas · 25/11/2011 13:54

Dd sounds a but like your son wolfhound. I either bribe her or pretend I need her to come with me and show me what to do as I have forgotten (for some reason as she is bossy showing me what to do appeals - I do use it only when I really want her to go as we are going out or something).

I would try an ignore op as does seem a phase and I haven't noticed any particular ill effects except when she has left it a long time she can suddenly need the loo very urgently.

plipplops · 25/11/2011 14:00

DD1 (4.5) does this and it drives me CRAZY. The other day we were at a farm/soft play place and she'd been jiggling and holding herself about half an hour. I ended up telling her to let go of her bits every 30 seconds and getting really wound up. It's such a bloody stupid thing but makes me so angry. She's also done quite a few accidents, mostly at school (although I'm now referring to it as 'doing a wee in your pants' rather than 'an accident', as there's nothing accidental about it). I'm trying to be more relaxed about it as I think it must be a control thing, but really it's just sodding ridiculous Angry I hope if we can ignore it she might take a bit more control as I genuinely believe she's making a choice not to go to the toilet, especially when she's being reminded by me/DH/MIL/teachers.

Greedygirl · 26/11/2011 09:12

Arghhhhh! It is so annoying. Think you are all right though and it is a control thing. I do really well at not commenting for a while but it puts me on edge, all that jiggling and wiggling! To be fair to him he very rarely actually wets his pants. Right, I am resolved to never mention it again to him (ha!).

OP posts:
HereInMyHead · 26/11/2011 09:41

My 3.5 year old does this too. It's very irritating. He wriggles and jiggles around and can't concentrate on anything. I personally think there's a bit of a control thing going on. I encourage him to go and if he doesn't then I 'threaten' him with a sanction. Part of me also thinks that i should just let him wet himself and then he'd realise that it's much nicer just to go to the loo!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page