Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

How do you deal with clingy DCs?

2 replies

iwouldgoouttonight · 22/11/2011 16:49

DS is 5 and DD is nearly 3 and they've become even more clingy than usual lately - just with me. They want me to do everything for/with them - if DP tries to do it, its always 'no, I want mummy to do it'. Everything from helping them to get dressed, getting their breakfast, helping DD onto her chair, giving them baths, and so on - they just want me to do it! If anyone else if there, they don't want to know them.

My mum says I give them too much attention, although I feel I don't give them enough attention which is why they always want me. I work four days a week and when I'm at home it always seems to be a rush of getting housework done, etc and I don't feel I have much quality time with them. I think this is why they are demanding my attention. Although DP works the same amount and they don't act the same towards him, so I'm not sure.

When they ask me to do everything I obviously can't do it all - DP and I normally help one get dressed each, for example, but the one who isn't with me nearly always gets upset.

Should I back off more and get them used to other people doing things with them, or should I give them more attention as they are craving it?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
bebemoojem · 22/11/2011 18:36

tough one imo
I'd say stay consistent but indulge a little as you see fit all the same.
I found that this comes and goes with my dd. Often what I do if I'm getting overwhelmed with requests (like today) I do the 'distraction method' to focus their attention on other things. Or I 'race' them to do it themselves while I do another similar task.

iwouldgoouttonight · 22/11/2011 19:29

Thanks. Well I got home from work and found DS refusing to speak to my mum and dad (they'd picked him up from school and looked after him until we got back from work). Me and DP got in at the same time and noticed DS had wet his pants so DP said 'come on DS, I'll help you get changed'. Cue 40 minutes of screaming 'I want mummy to do it'! DP said I wouldn't do it until he calmed down, but he just didn't calm down for ages. Once DP had said I wouldn't go to him until he'd calm down we couldn't really back down because otherwise DS would think if he kicked up a fuss I'd always go to him.

So we spent a very stressful half an hour putting DS back into the naughty corner over and over again, until eventually he calmed down.

I've no idea what I do differently from DP, or my parents, but it all seems to be about mummy mummy mummy - I'm exhausted with it!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page