6yr DS wetting

[3HotCrossBuns]

Hi. I'm hoping someone out there will have some pearls of wisdom for my 6yr old DS! His problem is that he comes home from school wet (sometimes soaking ) every day. This is a problem that has developed and worsened since the beginning of Y1 - he was fine after potty training and at nursery.
I have spoken with his teacher and she allows him to go immediately (he's in Y2 and they are encouraging the children to wait until the end of the lesson, which I think is a good thing!) as she is aware of his problem. However I don't think he always tells her when he needs to go or he waits until its too late. We've also discussed building in regular times during the day when she tells him to go. This morning she told me that he is going to the loo several times during the day but that she's concerned about his control. She suggested he might have a problem with both control and awareness that requires medical help!
We've discussed it at home with him and I've stressed that it's unpleasant socially (sometimes he smells) and that he will get sore skin. There's always an answer back why it's not his fault - yesterday he told me the toilets were out of order!! I've also explained how his bladder is like a balloon which needs emptying regularly so that it does get too full and bursting. In my more fed up moments I tell him he will have to wear a nappy or that he will have to miss out on fun days out if he cannot be trusted to wait until he needs to loo and/or go regularly.
I'm worrying that he does have a continence issue that will require medical assistance. Does anyone have any experience of this in a slightly older child?
Thanks

Go to your school nurse and get a referral to an Enuresis Clinic to get him checked out as a first step. They are great, very helpful and will kepp the school in the loop (ds was late at night time training)
However, you mention he was fine when initially toilet trained and now is getting worse - are you sure there isn't an issue that isn't physcial?

Can physical issues develop in this area? I know very little but always assumed once trained to be dry, one stayed dry?? I know he is sad and embarrassed about it but then there are times at home when he's wriggling and hopping about and we have to tell him (forcibly sometimes!) to just go to the loo!!! I supposed I was hoping it was "just a boy thing" where they don't want to stop what they're doing to go to the loo.... sigh....
I don't know if it's linked (I have assumed not) but he did have a rectal prolaspe when he was 4 which seems to have resolved itself. And he can have a loose tummy if his diet gets too rich (such as on holiday when the kids have lots of ice creams!!).
I guess my next step is to call the GP and get a referral.

is he dry at night, OP?

yes dry at night although that was quite a while after being dry during the day - but definitely by the time he started school. We used to lift him when we went to bed. But haven't for a long long time now.

Thinking about it - I remember I first spoke to the school about it towards the end of the first term of Y1 when the teachers start asking the kids if they can wait to the end of the lesson to go to the loo. My DS would say yes when he couldn't so I'm wondering if, over time, a bad habit has developed whereby he has stopped thinking about it - or thinks it doesn't matter if he is a little wet. Most of the time he's not really wet (it doesn't show through his navy blue school shorts) but is wet to the touch on the inside of his shorts and his pants have a "patch". He seems desperate at home sometimes and then when he goes it doesn't seem "that much" - if that makes sense. By contrast my younger DS is like a camel and goes maybe twice in a 24hr period. But when he goes there's lots. Sorry if this is all TMI!!!

while i agree a trip to your GP is a good idea, i wonder if DS is 'experimenting' with control?
DD (4.6yrs) refuses to go the toilet when prompted at times, even though she can't sit still from wriggling etc.

there are many reasons DCs do this, it may be something quite easily remedied

hth

DD says this too! 'it's only a little bit' but they aren't the best judges of 'little bits' are they (ask them to cut a 'little bit' of cake )

bless him, i hope you're right

My ds was a bit like this when he was younger. We went to the Enuresis Clinic who were great.

I realised that he was going to the toilet every hour, and that he needed to train himself to wait a little longer each time. We turned it into a game. We used a plastic jug and measured how much he was weeing each time (which wasn't very much!), and when he said he needed the toilet I tried to encourage him to wait 1 minute longer, then 2 minutes etc, each time measuring how much was in the jug, trying to wee more than last time. I just think he had a small bladder (if that's possible) which needed stretching, or that the sensors in that area needed retraining?

Anyway he is now absolutely fine.

Hope this helps and that you can get this resolved soon.

Try ERIC website for tips and advice.

The jug thing is a good idea and we can certainly do that at home. It will be difficult to manage at school though ! I feel for his teacher who really should be concentrating on teaching rather than monitoring his trips to the loo! Also he does have specialist teachers for art, games, french and music so making a note of the timings of his loo requirements would be tricky. Anyway something for the weekends and the school holidays (which are scarily close!). Thank you so much for your input, beginning to feel less overwhelmed and embarrassed about it!

Just looked on the ERIC website - it's really helpful and specifically refers to children who start daytime wetting after being consistently dry. Thanks so much for a great tip.