I need some help with DD (8), could she be depressed, so sad?

[Terrence]

I don't know how to treat/talk/handle her at the moment and I feel so

She's 8 years old. The eldest of 3 children. She is doing very well at school and is very well behaved, in fact she goes out of her way to be nice to everyone and it is commented on. However at home she is such a different person . I don't know what we are doing wrong

She's moody especially if she doesn't get her own way. Refuses to discuss anything by storming out of the room mid conversation. We have tried to be calm but her behaviour is bringing the whole family down.

She sees the downside of everything. We are about to go on holiday, she doesn't want to go. She can't really give me a reason, just is fed up of everyone saying she'll have a nice time.

She wants a hamster, we went through this last year with guinea pigs - she got them, she now wants nothing to do with them and when we pointed this out to her she promptly went upstairs and wrote a for sale sign for her guinea pigs. She's not getting a hamster, she won't look after it. We've tried to explain this to her but she ended up throwing her purse at her dad and stomping off screaming.

She goes riding and wants a horse. We can't afford anything like that but we can afford lessons for her. When we point this out this will send her into a sulk and a stomp, accusing us of being horrible.

And then 10 minutes later she appears downstairs sweetness and light, full of apologies. It's like someone has switched her for a different child.

Help

I'm not sure if what you are describing is depression in a child, (by which I mean I genuinely don't know, not that I think you are wrong) but I am fairly sure that I was depressed when I was that age, and it went on until I finally got help in my early 20s.

I was good at school, and academic, but never really had close friends. I did storm off a lot, and have always been bad tempered. I know that I used to want to die, and told people so. I remember saying things along the lines of 'you all hate me' a lot as well. I was the youngest of three by quite a long way.

Do you know of any problems that she has with friendships or siblings? You might be able to get an insight through this, but sadly you can't do much about other people.

I hope that somebody comes along with good advice for you, but please don't let your concerns get discounted. If you go to your GP and get help, you won't do any harm, and you might manage to get her in a happier place before her difficult teenage years.

PS it's all fine now, but it's a shame it took 15 years to get there.