12 year olds at high school

[jammydodger1]

this is my first post and i have read conversations over last few weeks which have made me laugh and cry and cant really talk to anyone else,dd1 has just gone to high school and am really struggling with hormones, boys, homework and trying not to leave dd2 out as she is so much younger is this normal or am i just odd?

DS1 started high school in September. It was a huge shock to us all and I did feel it took up a lot of the whole family's time. It is just starting to calm down but a few weeks ago the homework situation was appalling along with his attitude.

thank god i not the only one, i have spend the last few nights making a papermache model of jupiter whilst reciting a pirate poem with dd2 and just get attitude from dd1 in the odd moment she can but her phone down! they get so much homework and i feel very guilty that have always concentrated on oldest as "learning to read, then sats, now high school and small person always last in pecking order although she no shrinking violet!!

DS2 (9) certainly noticed that DS1 was getting more attention and acted up accordingly!

It's only in the last few weeks that DS1 has stopped stressing so much and put his priorities in order. At first he just couldn't get organised and his stress just made us all stressed.

Just hang in there.......

as adults we forgot they get stressed about stuff which is massive in their lives a good reminder thanks shall try and remember how i felt at that age!!

It's a huge thing starting high school. I underestimated how much it would affect him.

He couldn't find the classrooms, thought all the teachers were mean and was completely overwhelmed by the homework. He was asking to change schools and his attitude was awful.

He actually seems ok now. Still a bit scatty with his belongings and nervous on some days but going in the right direction.

first few weeks were aweful too, they are getting so much homework which needs constant nagging to get done, telling me to back off and its her homework and she knows best so you leave it to them and then its not done correctly, trying to instill organisation so she is fully prepared the night before but she still manages to loose homework which at her school is instant detention, attitude got so much better now but she cannot get the organisation, i know i should proberably let her make her own mistakes but so early on in a new school i dont want her to get into trouble, i find myself checking her bags to make sure she has everything without her knowing!

Me too! So far he has lost a pair of school trousers and one sports sock but he is getting a bit better at organisation.

I know just what you mean about homework. He says he'll do it on his own. Then I have a look and if I say I'm not sure he's done it right he goes bananas. I say he should do it in rough first but he refuses.

I don't want him to get into trouble, but can't seem to strike a balance between leaving him to it and interfering. I think it's hard for them and us.

bless! nice to know they are all the same I'm dreading when we get to the homework i cant actually do!! although thankfully so far it has just been making models (it was like being back at primary school) and internet research but im sure the hard stuff is on its way!

At DSs school there is a homework club every night after school for an hour. There are teachers there to ask. He hasn't gone to one yet but it's a good idea.

How is she friends wise? DS didn't end up with many of his friends, and struggled a bit with that too. In fact it's all been a struggle. but we are slowly making progress.

I've just started to relax andthen this week has been worrying again!
I was so worried about the social side, which has been fine, that I just let him toddle alongwith the work but his marks have dropped the last couple of weeks so now I'm on his back again. He's quite chilled and coping better than me!

Just sitting down with a cup of tea after the latest homework trauma - his history homework, has disappeared off the laptop and its all my fault he deinitely saved it but obviously didn't do it properly because I was talking on the phone!!
Apparently it was my fault too that he lost his football kit yesterday.....

when does it get better?

soon i hope!! Urrrrg i just typed a load os stuff cat sat on laptop and lost it all and logged me out!!!!! socially she was alway the outsider (she grew up with the popular kid in primary school) so was always vaguely included but since she has got to high school her status seems to have increased which i am not A) used to and B) sure is a good thing, as now she is permentantly attached to mobile with "so and so mum" let her dd do this and why am i always bleating on about tidiness homework etc etc and my personal favourite saying "in a minute" which is enough to make me self explode!!
I also am good at loosing homework wehen the other day she asked me to write her a note to get her out of detention as she had lost her homework, announcing this at 9pm the day before it was due to be handed in!! as usual after her 20 minute tantrum I found it in her bag where it should have been and then she left it at her friends house the next morning!!!!

We just had first parents evening and were told she was really quiet! Ha ha! She is still taking all her books every day rather than selecting her subjects as she would just forget stuff - as a result, she is carrying a brick!

She has 5 new friends and they are all round now and they want to make a band. My poor ears are bleeding!

take it she not quiet at home!!! my dd also takes all books however the "must have bag" we bought for her (which was like a sports bag and would fit everything in) is now not cool so she has bought (out of her own money) a large handbag so everything now screwed up at bottom to get in! a girl band in the making then get your camcorder out if not for you've been framed you can get your own back at her 18th party and play it to all her guests!!?Smiley (cant get the hang of these smiley face things)

jammydoger I could have written your posts. DD started at high school in September and the amount of homework and level of work expected is a huge jump from primary school. She has to write detailed reports for science, gets a huge number of maths questions and gets a lot of book reviews for English.

I find it stressful because DD won't do her homework the day she gets it, preferring to leave it until the last minute. Nagging or witholding treats makes no difference to her, so now I have told her that I am not going to remind her and she will have to deal with the consequences.

She is supposed to be doing some right now with a friend, but I can hear them messing about in the front room. It isn't my job to nag the friend, so I will "encourage " DD to do some when friend goes home.

god yes its my daily phrase "do it now whilst its fresh in your mind as you will get some more tomorrow" many a time i have wrestled (not physically) her mobile phone from her to try and get her to do it but she then does it wrong to wind me up and i also tell she will have to deal with the fall out at school but it makes no difference, i dont know whether the "im doing homework with soandso" is a good or bad thing, sometimes they do it and sometimes they mess around, i am hopeful that it will all fall into place very soon!

We are all like broken records!! I used to do my homework on a Friday night but DH did his on the bus on the way to school on Monday so differing opinions here. If DS hasn't done his homework I feel like it's hanging over me. . Still don't understand why it's our fault about everything though.

its always our fault!! and i also feel guilty when homework not done and worry constantly about it, but youngest dd suffers as i neglect hers as it was always dd1 first years/reading for play/sats then year 6 is so important as she goes to big school next time and poor dd2 lags behind although i dont think she minds too much and is finding her own feet (if only i could let dd1 do that!)