one hour to feed 9 mth old at lunch and tea time - no time for me

[happyeverafterhome]

Hi
It takes an hour to feed our daughter any meaningful quantity of food at both lunch and tea time. I try just popping finger food in front of her and she tries to eat it a bit, but not enough to make a meal. So, its an hour for both main meals, add that to morning and afternoon naps in her bedroom and I get no time to go outside or do other things (she doesnt sleep in the pram). This has been going on for ages now and I feel to be properly depressed - treary and subdued most of the time: not good for me or her. Dad is at work so can't help. Any suggestions? thanks

just go out with her in the buggy. she'll sleep if she's tired.

make an effort to leave the house at least once a day, and have somewhere to go, even if it's to the corner shop.

find some other mums and babies at baby groups and arrange lunch out at a cafe, and then home for a nap afterwards. then you can all sit and drink coffee and eat whilst shovelling food into babies. it makes it much less isolating.

but leave the house.

dd isn't going to be irrevocably harmed if she doesn't get a 2 hr nap in the morning and afternoon in her own cot.

you need to leave the house.

at 9mos she's still plenty little enough to be using a carrier or sling, so she could sleep in that instead of the buggy if you wanted to go for a walk.

Only finger food? Maybe she's not ready for so much chewing yet. I'd start her of with some finger food at the start of the meal, let her explore the tastes and textures for a few mins while you prepare some mashed stuff to feed her with (she'll eat it in 10 mins). An hour is a long time, no wonder you are both stressed out by it.

Think you need to take control a little bit set a time to eat (30mins max) and stick to it, also get out more find some baby and toddler groups/ classes, if she is really tired she will sleep in the car or buggy.

Also is she having a lot of milk? Wonder if thats why she is not eating that much, maybe just not hungry.

You need a life as well!!!

I'd try purees - i presume you're blw, but if purees means you can be done and dusted in ten mins, i'd give it a try. I like being able to feed dd purees as i want to make sure shes eating a reasonable amount.
I don't understand this idea of babies sleeping when they're tired. Nice theory! If i don't get dd to sleep she doesn't sleep. We tried cio one time - screamed all day, eventually fell asleep in a sweaty mess and woke screaming ten mins later.
Keep trying with the buggy though - we found dd wouldn't sleep in hers at one point but after using it from necessity she got used to it. Its still hit and miss though. We also found that we had to stop as soon as she fell asleep or we'd have to carry on moving for the duration of her nap. Maybe try a clip on toy for her to hold in her hand - i find it helps her close her eyes if she's looking down.

Just to add - i do understand the idea of babies sleeping when they're tired, i assumed that myself and would let ddgo without a nap until 3pm or whatever assuming that she'd sleep when she was tired. Of course she'dcry from being overtired. Then i found out she was meant to have her first nap 1h30 after first waking up in the morning... That helped a lot.

happyeverafterhome, I agree you need to get out. Even if your DD has 2 naps and 2 long meals, I still think that should leave enough time. Eg if she has a morning nap 9-10am, you could pop out to toddler group or whatever for a couple of hours and be back for lunch and afternoon nap at 12.30pm say?

If it takes an hour - she's probably not hungry or she's too tired to eat. Especially at lunch and tea time, she'll get worse as the day goes on I assume? I'd think about the timing of naps - she might need an earlier morning nap (so she's ok for lunch), an earlier lunch and post lunch nap. At that age, DS was roughly awake at 6am, nap at 8.30am, lunch at 11-11.30am, nap at 12/12.30pm and the odd mid afternoon nap if we were out.

Is this your first? I remember being a slave to naps and meal times then realised actually it didn't matter quite so much. Getting out is much more important.