Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Two year old is driving me nuts - Please, someone, tell me this is NORMAL!!!?

15 replies

CaptainDippy · 04/01/2006 10:04

My gorgeous, lovely nearly 2 (Feb 25th) year old DD1 is driving me completely mental - She just seems to be throwing herself onto the floor and screaming ALL THE DAMN TIME!!! I just cannot do anything right and I haven't got a bloomin' clue what it is that she wants!! I am trying to be super patient and invest a lot of time and energy into her, but I have other things I need to do and another DD to look after who is 7 months and seems to scream and refuse to sleep most of the time.

DD1 can hardly amuse herself AT ALL and if she is being quiet, then usually she is doing something unacceptable (ie covering my walls in pen / lipstick / poo!!) I love her so, so, so much, but she is driving me crazy - I just want her to stop screaming for like 5 seconds - She has recently started nodding her head, which has been a huge huge help, but her language is still limited and I just can't take the behaviour any more - I don't show her that it is getting to me (most of the time!) but she is lovely if I leave her with other people - Does she hate me or something!!? - I know she is jealous if DD2, but I try to involve her in everything. In fact, DD2 gets very little of my time and attention in comparision!!

ARGH - So sorry to go on like this, but just need to know that there are other mummies / carers out there who are having the same / similar difficulties!

OP posts:

orangina · 04/01/2006 10:08

Captain Dippy, I have no idea what to advise, but you sound at the end of your tether, so I'm bumping this for you! Perhaps DD1 needs to know that she is driving you crazy though? You said that you don't show her that it is getting to you, but perhaps she should be aware of the consequences of her actions? Total guesswork for me, my dd is only 9 months, I have the whole toddler thing ahead of me still! Good luck.....

santagotstuckOOPSthechimney · 04/01/2006 10:10

snap!!!!!!!
bfbaby, but wanted to add my support xxx

Pfer · 04/01/2006 10:14

, poor you. it will pass, honest, just hang in there.

emily05 · 04/01/2006 10:16

Totally normal 2 year old behaviour (they dont call it the terrible twos for nothing).

It seems like she is frustrated because she cant communicate as well as she wants and this her way of getting attention. Also having a sibling will intensify her quest for attention.

Ds went through this phase. He is 3 now and much better. I think that the important things are:

try and understand her point of view
have a routine
have a structured discipline routine - so she knows that the consequences of her behaviour
make sure that you are giving her some qualifty attention. With ds it is all about quality not quantity! If I spend half an hour one on one with him he is a lot more likely to go off and play on his own (all mummied out!!) I know that this is hard as you have 2.
ignore the screams and tell her that you will talk to her when she stops. let her scream it all out and then when she does stop say to her "good girl, mummy will talk to you now". It will be a long process, but she will learn that she gets your attention for being good - not for being bad. I think toddlers act out to get attention because this mormally works! (iyswim)
wear her out! an hour at the park shatters ds out to submission!!!

She does not hate you - the opposite in fact. She is just learning that this is how she can get to you and that is what she wants. Your attention because she loves you.

Hope this helps xx good luck - if I think of anymore toddler tips do you want me to post them?

aragon · 04/01/2006 10:16

CaptainDippy - you are normal and so is your DD. She's reached an age when she is suddenly discovering an immense amount of freedom and power but has no sense to use this power in an acceptable manner. The lack of language is hard too and is common to most 2 year olds who have ideas way above their abilities and get very frustrated when things don't come to fruition.
I am fortunate that when my DS was like this I wasn't having to cope with a 7 month old as well - I think I might have gone crazy if I had - it's such hard work and you've got double the workload because of the baby.

She doesn't hate you - she's good for other people because she's unsure of them. With you she feels comfortable and relaxed enough to let herself go and it's hideously hard to know what they want when they get themselves in a real tizzy. She loves you - and her demand of your attention is her way of saying "Hey Mum - you're great company".

However, life is not always about getting what you want and she'll learn this as she gets older and you can help her with this learning by leaving the room etc when she chucks herself to the floor so she's getting no attention for it. Reward her with lots of attention when she's being good - Toddler Taming is worth a read (Christopher Green) he doesn't get everything right but it's a fun, easy to read book and a good guide.

santagotstuckOOPSthechimney · 04/01/2006 10:21

mine has just gone quiet after small melt down.....found him proudly watching tv... "i urned telly on mummy"
i am such an anal person, i hate tv

colette · 04/01/2006 10:23

CaptainDippy
ds is 2 and a half and does a lot of yelling and pushing I know talking a little bit more has helped a lot and sitting him in the naughty corner sometimes also helps a bit.
Sometimes just getting him out of the house seems to work wonders as he is a lot worse in the house . I know I don't have a 7 mnth old as well to get out of the door!
Has she been like this for a while or could she be worse because she has a cold or is overtired. There are times when I realise working is so much easier.Hope you are not too exhausted

jambuttie · 04/01/2006 10:25

captain dippy

I am having the same bother with mine, i have twins who will be 2 on 16th jan and 4 yr old ds too.

I am pulling my hair out

Must admit I look forward now to going to work at 4.30 for starting at 5 peace and quiet

Well peace and quiet till some customer starts screaming at us on the phone

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 04/01/2006 10:33

Thank you, thank you sooooooo much for all the tips and advice - much appreciated - I'll reply properly later (currently bouncing an excited 7 month old on my knee atm - about to attend another hospital appt!!) We do have a proper routine and one for discipline (!?) too - naughty stair is great, but tantrums often last more than an hour if I let them go on!! Don't have time, ARGH!!!!!!! I hate tv Too Sgsuoc (not sure if that's right!!) so does DD1, though sometimes I just wish she'd just sit and watch it for 5 mins!!!!!!!!!! Later.....

OP posts:

TeddyRobinson · 04/01/2006 10:52

Normal.

And if it helps, my just 3 yr old is still like this - drives me crazy

BernieBear · 04/01/2006 13:18

Can't offer any advise as am going through this myself with 21 month old ds. Just wanted to say thanks for this post, it is great to know that you are not alone!

MrsBoo · 04/01/2006 13:50

Captain Dippy: I too have no great advice, but am very re-assured to read that it's not just me!
My DD has just turned 2, and can be a real handful most of the time. She constantly bickers and fights with her big brother over everything. I daren't take her shopping, doesn't like her carseat (and has learnt to unbuckle it); plays with her food.
She has had me close to tears on many occasion.
But everyone says she'll grow out of it.
The rest of the time she is so cute, affectionate and clever, that I wonder what I was complaining about!

leggymamba · 04/01/2006 14:03

my dd is 2.5 she's come out of the hour long tantrums (she used to make herself sick on demand - great trick!), has now gone into the whiney phase. Can keep that up for hours and I guess this one's here to stay.

I've got ds 8mth and I have to get out the house or would really loose it.

Having said that I have found dd also starting to get easier in lots of ways. She'll spend hours now with dolls, train set etc. I can explain things too her and she understands, whines about it but does understand!

I think the way I coped was to laugh at the tantrums - video one for the whole hour and embrass her at her wedding!

lunavix · 04/01/2006 14:12

I have this with 21 month old ds.

A particular example is we went shopping with his godmother (my BF), MIL, plus MILs mother.

He kicked me and BF when we tried to hold his hands (he'd tantrumed over being in buggy) as he wanted to storm around debenhams knocking stuff over.

When I grabbed his hand he threw himself on the floor and hollered. I put him in the buggy (him kicking me) and when BF tried to stroke his hair he smacked her face.

Then when I got him out later this repeated, while lying on the floor screaming, MIL walked over and said 'do you want to hold my hand' he stood upbrushed himself off and walked off holding her hand I don't know who I'm angrier at him or her!

I hate the kicking and slapping more than anything.

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 04/01/2006 15:01

This really is a huge relief - thank you very much guys!! I am very much happier knowing that I am not alone in all of this - I HATE the kicking and the slapping too lunavix - DD1 is terrible - always hitting DH and I in the face and trying to kick us - she pushes and shoves a lot as well, which is really horrid. Now that DD2 (7 months) has learned to sit up - everytime she does so, DD1 pushes her over - ARGH!!! They are playing together in their nursery now - happy as larry, which is incredible!! It is times like these that I wonder what I was moaning about!! Oh no, they are both screaming now .....

OP posts:

Flip