DS 2 years not wanting to go to new places and using coat as security blanket

[ToysRLuv]

Has anybody's child done this? DS is 2.1 and going through a sensitive phase. Whenever we visit anyone he basically does not want to go in, or if he goes in does not usually want to stay more than few minutes and cries by the door (very embarrassing if host has laid out food and toys as well). At the very least, he does not want to take his coat off. He also does not like people coming to our house, and wants to shut the door in their face and complain loudly if we still allow them in. Is this normal?

The second, but related, issue is that he now seems to use his coat a bit like a security blanket. He has worn it inside at home a few times when upset, but seems to use his sleeping bag more for that purpose (possibly because he might be tired, as well: he is not sleeping that well at the moment). This is frustrating, because I'd like the sleeping bag to be for sleeping only, and the coat for outdoors, but don't want to make him upset. I wish he used a blankie or some other practical/small thing (however, he does use a dummy as well when upset or tired). What should I do apart from distraction and making sure that he has had enough sleep and food? Should I just leave him be? He does take coat/sleeping bag off when he feels better or if I manage to distract him.

Hi, My DD is the same with going places and meeting people. She is ok shopping & close family but will have a screaming fit if we go to anyone's house. She's very 'homey' at the moment and wants to wear her pyjamas all day - maybe so she doesn't have to go out . She also shuts the door on people and says 'oh no!' if they try to talk to her. Agree it's embarrasing but hoping its just a strange 2 year old phase. Glad she's not the only one!! Sorry - no help, just empathy!

CC: Good to hear DS isn't alone with the "homeyness". It's so strange, today he did not want to go out at all, but managed to distract him with gardening gloves (he loves wearing them). I'm worried he will go moldy sitting on the sofa in his sleeping bag for half the day.. :/

Haven't seen my a couple of my friends for a while because DS is so awkward. Everything's a struggle.

Ds used to say "say bye bye to [whoever was round]", also would ask to go home of we went anywhere. I used to take a toy he liked with me, explain that these people are our friends and also give him a time frame of how long we were staying. And lots of cuddles.
But I did make him go places and have people round. I thought he just had to get used to it with support from me. It is embarrassing but you just have to style it out

Yes. I thought my DS was extremely odd at the time. He was around 18 months. I'd not heard of a baby wanting to stay at home before so thought I was going to have major problems with him for the rest of his life (was already dreading the teenage years!) :)

Luckily it was relatively short lived. He turned 2 last week and I've not had the problem since the beginning of summer, so perhaps lasted a couple of months.

Obviously, as hard as it was, we all have things to do. So amongst his protesting we just went wherever I needed to anyway and he must have got used to it. I'd just let him remain close to you as he might need to feel the security that you're there if he feels threatened, let him use his coat to hide or whatever if need be, especially as he puts it down once he settles. I wouldn't pay too much attention to him as such, like making a fuss over it, or it could become a habit to draw attention. Just let him lead and do what he needs to do to feel secure - whether that be hiding or coming to you for cuddles etc.

yes very normal!!!

Ok. Seems that DS isn't that strange. He just makes things a lot more awkward than other kids I know. I will try to get socialising more, but I dread it and feel drained afterwards. I hate walking on eggshells :( I hope he gets over this soon!

Thanks, by the way, for all your responses! Today we went to see some friends for dinner. DS didn't want to get dressed or go, but I explained to him that "we will take a taxi to see mummy and daddy's friends, and you will get a new toy there" (just a cheap car I bought before.. although I loath to get into a habit of bribing him). He was keen to get out of the door a little while after that. The new car kept him entertained for some time while at the friend's house, which was good.