DD just turned 8. She has had occasional BO for over a year, and now has some armpit hair. She is tall, but slim. She is a complete angel at school and at CM's - golden girl in fact. But real Jekyll and Hyde. Bedtimes are now a traumatic nightmare for the whole family almost every night. She hits, pinches and pushes me, and has now started hitting DH. Tantrums (leg kicking, door slamming), appalling rudeness coupled with mockery when we finally lose it and shout at her.
I am really worried because she is not getting anywhere near enough sleep - still awake now at 10.15 despite us starting positive bedtime routine at 7.30 - and it is now starting to happen in the mornings too. She lies in bed, screaming and groaning.
She admits to feeling angry and feeling better when it comes out, but we cannot get anything at all out of her about what it is she is angry about. It doesn't always seem as though she is out of control. Sometimes it seems that she is behaving quite in quite a calculated way. She does think she gets treated differently from her older brother - and she is right because his behaviour is very different. I think she is also unhappy that I changed jobs a couple of years ago and my hours are now longer.
We have tried loads of carrots, and quite a few sticks. Nothing is working. I am wondering if it could be hormonal, and if so whether a doctor could help. Or whether family therapy might help? Advice from anyone with experience of anything similar would be really appreciated. TIA.