3yo DD struggling to settle at nursery - what do I do?

[mendipgirl]

DD1 started nursery 1 day a week 3 weeks ago. She used to be looked after by my mum, but now I have DD2 as well mum can't cope with 2 so DD1 has to go to nursery (or some form of paid childcare). She loves her preschool which she goes to 2 mornings a week, but took a while to settle here as well. She is a clingy, shy little girl but has got much better in the last 6 months since she has been at preschool.

I was expecting nursery to be a struggle, but yesterday when I picked her up her eyes looked bruised she had been crying so much and they said she had been okay in the morning but upset a lot of the afternoon. They were cuddling her when I got there and I have faith that they are looking after her, but it is so distressing to see her like that.

What can I do to make it easier? Just persevere until she gets it? Should I look at another nursery....but won't this just be another new place for her to get used to. The previous two weeks she has cried when we left and been very very pleased to see us when we pick her up, but yesterday was just awful.

Has anyone been through anything similar and how long do I give her to settle?
HELP

Oh the poor little thing.
It is very early days and she has only been three times. Did she do any settling in visits?

Would it be possible to do shorter days but increase it to twice a week?

And she was happy when you collected her the previous times wasn't she? So it could be just an off day.

Speak to the staff, it sounds like they are caring for her. They might be able to help her make some friends or do activities she loves ( tell them what really gets her interested, her fav stories, fav songs) and then she might get distracted and join in.

A lot of kids find it hard to adjust to nursery. My youngest used to cry and scream when I left him in a morning and used to break my heart.

I would give it a while, see if I could add another day a week in the nursery. Christmas is coming soon and that usually means lots of fun activities at nursery.

I agree with pancake that 1 day a week might not be enough for her to become familiar with the environment. My DD's preschool will not take children for only 1 day as they have had problems with not settling - the minimum is 2.

Is there any way you could ditch the day at nursery and increase the number of mornings at preschool? Your mum might be OK with just DD2 in the morning and both of them for the afternoon??

If this isn't possible then at least it sounds like the staff are caring for her well.

Hope it gets better for you soon.

She did some settle in visits, which went okay, but they were only a couple of hours at a time. I think the morning seems okay but the whole day is a bit much for her!

I think I'm going to hope it was an off-day. She was under the weather at the weekend so maybe still suffering from that. It's hard isn't it! If next week is bad I'll ask them if she could do an extra half day once a week until xmas. I couldn't afford it long term but that might help her settle a bit better.

Thanks for the advice!

Why cant she do three days at preschool?

the preschool is only available 4 mornings a week and then only for 3 hours each morning. so no good for when I am at work.

I would pick one place or the other - two different places with different staff, kids, rules and routines to adapt too is probably too much for a sensitive child, especially if one is only one day a week.

It is confusing for her probably...could you find a childminder instead?