people are making me paranoid about my DS

[alwayswantedamrfrosty99]

saw my ILs at the weekend,dont see them often, MIL asked is DS saying many words now ,i said yes quite a lot now....

she then went on to brag for an hour about how my DH walked when he was 1 (DS walked at 14 month) how did fantastically at school and was the golden boy,about my BIL he was a fantastic talker said way more than my DS does now,she then said oh but your DS will catch up they cant all be quick at everything

in my eyes my DS is a happy,confident boy who learns quickly and seems bright to me,why do people say these things? now im worrying he s behind in someway with his speech

sorry forgot to say my DS is 18 months

My 14mo DS has about 30 words (we've lost count). We saw my PIL this weekend and they STILL harped on about how DH was a great early talker (amongst other child prodigy-esque qualities) and maybe DS takes after the 'engineers' in my family!

I'm not even vaguely just about learning to rise above it! Think it's some kind of competitive cave-woman instinct that you can't have spawned a child as fit for purpose as theirs. Join me in my attempts to ignore!?

and also, they totally forget timescales. and erase the tricky 'not quite so golden' moments and keep the good ones. mil still faithfully assures me that dh was potty trained at 7mos. 8mos max. i still vividly recall her claiming that she was going to get ds1 dry at night whilst we stayed at hers for a fortnight. after about three nights of sodden bedlinen and towels she went for amnesia and put him back in pull-ups.

i love my mil, though.

yes ill join you ! it sounds the same as what i hear,DS looks like his dad,walks like his dad did,sits like his dad did ETC

i must have had nothing to do with the conception,pregnancy or birth DH must have produced DS on his own somehow !

I think all MILs are the same. According to my MIL, DH was just an angel. Never did anything wrong.

My dd was a very fretful baby, used to cry a lot and my MIL would say she must have taken after me cos DH was such a peaceful baby!

Any negative quality was inherited from me- but according to her, my DC got their brains from DH.

It took a while but now it really doesn't bother me anymore and we do get along really well now!

Take comfort: one day your ds will be grown up and married and then he will have reached all those early milestones-in retrospect.

To give her credit, MIL admits that her boys were a complete handful and she worked her arse off to get them to behave. Her only resentment is that people used to credit their no-good father for the boys' good behaviour in public.

Anyway, just nod & change the subject, OP. Your MIL is choosing to remember selectively, it's nothing to do with anybody's reality.

i'd just laugh and say 'aww it's so sweet the way our memories only hold onto the good things isn't it? - espeically when it's been so long'

but then i'm passive agressive

cory

The more dgc my mil did the earlier her dc's did things. Potty training especially!

got, not did

According to my (lovely) MiL my dh never gave her a moments trouble. When I asked her about the time he vandalised the school toilets she changed the subject. Ditto with his shoplifting spree .

That makes dh sound like a right thug and wasn't at all - but they all rewrite history you know.

My mother just says how difficult I was, for instance.....

i talked to my OH tonight about this,he again said he has no idea why i listen to his mother

he s told me many times he had an unhappy childhood and that his mother was overbearing,she did everything for him,he wasnt allowed to tidy his own room even when he was in his early 20s

i think my DS is doing fine i dont no why i let her get to me

Last week, DS was having a bit of a cry while we were putting on his coat and leaving MIL's house- really not that unusual for a baby. My MIL says to DP 'Well, I never had this problem with any of you!'

What - none of your babies ever cried? Jesus.