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Toddler disrupting after school time for two older siblings

2 replies

Vegout · 15/11/2011 19:41

My 2 year old is constantly crying and being naughty when his two older siblings come home from school. The older ones are 12 and 9, so they need to do homework and have some time to relax, but the youngest is extremely disruptive. He ruins what was once a calm and pleasant tea time. He goes into my daughter's room and destroys her things. He stands in front of his brother's favourite TV program when he just needs a rest after a very long school day.

It was always going to be difficult with such a big gap, but any helpful tips would really be most welcome. Being 2 the youngest is in the middle of potty training and also doesn't always want a lunchtime sleep. I am aware of these things and try to give him rest and attention during the school day, as well as taking him to nursery and classes. We do have a naughty step, which is currently being used frequently!! And I am desperately trying to give time to everyone, so its not a question of favouritism or being soft on the little one either :-)

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tigerlillyd02 · 15/11/2011 20:39

I would think that, as he's had you to himself all day long, he realises when the others come home that all your attention isn't solely focused on him, hence the crying etc.

If it's not that, it could be that he wants them to play with him and obviously they're busy doing their own thing.

My ds is 2 also, and is an only child. However, my nieces (aged 4 and 6) sometimes come round after school and although he's not naughty or crying, he becomes extremely hyper and excited and wants to play with them. Being their ages, they're not interested in "playing with a baby" so I have to try and keep him from jumping all over them. Although a pain to have to do, I just have to be quite strict and tell him in simple terms, you don't do that (ie leap on one) because you'll hurt them and if you do it again you'll have to go in time out. And there have been occasions he has had to go straight into time out for it (after his warning), but he's becomming much better. I haven't had to tell him for a while.

It's a hard situation, as he's in his own home and I feel like I'm punishing his excitement in a way. But at the same time, other children, as do adults don't want another child clinging to them and jumping all over them. So it has to be done.

They're still typical 4 and 6 yr olds and complain that he's following them etc, but as long as he's not physical in any way I'm not going to stop him wandering around his own home and watching what they're doing. If he was purposely doing something to spite them (like your example of standing infront of the tv) I would physically remove him with a warning that if he continues he'll go into time out. If it's not being done on purpose you could gently explain that X is trying to watch the tele and if he is standing there then X can't see and he'll be upset.

In terms of your other ds's bedroom - would a stair gate or something stop him having access to that area? If not, I'd probably following the warning/time out thing.

On top of all this, so that he feels involved at some point with you all as a family, I'd introduce some family games etc that you could all do together. In the summer you could have some outdoor games in the garden (football or something).

Vegout · 17/11/2011 20:35

Thanks. I am sure you are right. I have considered locks on the older ones doors, but I don't really want to ruin the paint work for the sake of 6 months.

Incidentally, my welcome e-mail from mumsnet contained a whole page on how difficult a two and a half year old can be, which helped enormously - empathy is one of the best ways to make a situation better!! Thanks again.

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