ADVICE NEEDED RE 3 YEAR OLD / behaviour at pre school

[ithinkitsme]

hey everyone - feeling a bit confused this evening, and worried about my 3 year old.

He has been attending pre-school since he was 2 - he used to attend only for 2 mornings a week - however since turning 3 a couple of months ago he now goes in 5 mornings and moved into the bigger room for pre school children aged 3-5. This room is alot bigger, noisier and more going on than his last room. I should also mention i had another baby around the same time as him moving rooms aswell.

Anyway.... his keyworker has had to "take me aside" a few times to say that she is concerned about his behaviour when it comes to going into a big group as he doesnt like it and becomes upset etc, he is ok when its his own smaller group ( 8 children ) but doesnt like big groups of children sometimes, and also today when they visited the gym hall she told me that he became very upset and wouldnt join in with the activity etc. She told me that they will have to keep an eye on this as he has to get used to big groups when he goes to school and that the teachers wont stand for this

He wont be going to school for another 2 years , and i suppose i really just want to know if anyone else has experienced this ? He is an outgoing boy, has made a good few friends in nursery and enjoys playing etc

i suppose i just want someone to tell me that its all normal but i dont feel the nursery feel that way

They sound like they are overreacting!! He is only 3, wee lamb, and noise bothers a lot of wee ones especially if they are from a quiet household. My 3rd hated gym at nursery and cried dreadfully when the group went, gym halls can be very echoey places. By school age she had grown out of it although she still didn't like noise. She is 11 now, very sociable and friendly and very good at gymnastics LOL.... so I wouldn't worry too much at this stage, especially as he has his own friends and enjoys play. Try to make sure the nursery staff are kind when he is getting stressed and he'll gain confidence.
All the best
x

When ds1 was in nursery he refused point blank to go over to big school or take part in any large group activity. When he started school he was one of the only ones to go in without crying.
What I am trying to say is he is probably just adjusting and don't worry about him at school.

Has his hearing been checked? Ds is like this and he suffers from glue ear.

I used to work in a nursery attached to a school - lots of the children cried at various times when taken into the big school for activities, esp gym and assembly. They're just little and busier areas can be really noisy, crowded and echoey. A good key worker will work with them to ensure they feel secure and able to cope in this environment. Why is she raising concerns now? You've got two years before your ds starts school and ime teachers are used to dealing with building confidence in new starts so even if they still have concerns when he does start school - the teachers will help him cope.

thanks for the speedy replies..
gaunyerseljeannie - staff all seem very nice and i get on well with them all, i have alot of trust in them and so does DS which is good.

DeWe - hearing hasnt been checked since he was a newborn- funnily enough he is always touching his ears as if they are itchy ?

Blimey. My ds has just started reception. Loads of kids cry all the time for loads of things - parents leaving, going into the big hall for lunch etc. I really wouldn't worry too much. Crying is normal at 3. School staff won't think anything I should imagine.

sounds similar to my experience - ds was considered by his keyworker to be unusually sensitive and non-compliant at nursery, and eventually they got the senco lady to assess him. she said he was fine, clever, and just working out ways to get what he wanted. i think that the staff were lovely and well-intentioned but just looking too hard for problems to treat. he settled in at school brilliantly and we've never looked back. good luck!

thankyou so much for sharing these experiences, has really reassured me - just want him to enjoy it (which he generally does) x

Sounds remarkably normal - I'd want to know how they were helping ds get used to the big room.
My ds recently moved from Toddler to Preschool room at his nursery and it's taken a lot of adjusting even though there's only 5-8 kids in Preschool and they let him stay in Toddlers sometimes if he really wants to (they have meals together). After a few weeks he's loving Preschool but is getting very tired and does find the five larger children a bit much. If he only turned 3 in Sept he's got nearly 2 years to get used to them!

It doesn't sound odd to me. My DD was happy at the pre-school nursery - except for the occasions when all years were together in the playground - a year has passed and now she is much more confident in those situations.

I think my DS would have reacted in exactly the same way if he'd had these situations at 3. Some kids at 3 seem to manage these occasions, quite a lot don't. He's now just 5 and has settled brilliantly into Reception and all the stuff like whole school assembly that it involves. There was a gradual shift in his behaviour from 3 to 5 to make him more "normal" in this respect. So, don't worry and hope the staff can handle him sensitively.