Help! Want to get rid of the dummy, but every time we have tried he sucks his fingers instead!

[trixymalixy]

what do we do?

Does anyone have any tips?

Is finger sucking worse than a dummy?

I can't speak from a parents point of view as DS1 is nearly 3 and still has his at night, but from a personal one I am 28 and still suck my finger/thumb at night. I doubt very much I'd still be sucking a dummy!

How old is your child?

How bad do you consider sucking?

Sucking is a natural comfort for children. They will give it up when it stops being useful and is good for them. Don't sweat it. Honestly, the sucking thing is mostly harmless and not worth being mean about.

Sucking thumb or fingers is meant to be less of a problem when it comes to speech delay. A child takes their thumb out to play with the cars, draw etc more than they would take out a dummy.

He'll be 5 in January .

I personally am not that bothered about it, just worried about teeth mainly, but I think dummies aren't as bad for teeth as sucking fingers.

He only has it at night, so I'm not worried about speech issues.

How often does he suck a dummy?

That's different then.
Will he get fun made of him at school? If not, why worry?

Also, on the school thing, it's very easy (indeed necessary) to take fingers to school. Not so much with a dummy. They are much easier to leave at home!

This was really not the response I was expecting!! I'm not sure what to do now. I was determined to get rid of the dummy before Christmas!

I phased the dummy out.

Firstly he was not allowed it when playing.
Then he was only allowed to have it during quiet time and bed time.
Then only at bedtime.
Then he cashed it in (put it in a bag, got some toys in return).

He protested for a few nights, but didn't suck his thumb and got used to it. I did drive the process, but was sensitive to his needs. If he really wasn't ready to give it up, I would not have forced it.

My DD has never had a dummy but my local surestart centre run a dummy drive at christmas for the children to donate their dummys to baby reindeer.

At Christmas write your DS a letter from Santa, maybe a reply to one you could help him 'write' telling santa about how good he has been/the toys he would like. The reply could tell him that their aren't enough dummys for the baby reindeer in lapland and could he send his as he is getting such a big boy. Get your DS to collect all his dummys up and decorate a box/ buy a cheap sparkly gift box from wilkos etc put the dummys in there on christmas eve leave it on the table with carrots/milk/mince pies. Either remove the box or take out the dummys leave a little extra gift in it some stickers or a thank you note and some magic dust 'glitter'.

From what I understand they either dont miss them at all and get swept away with the excitement of christmas or miss it for a few nights and get over it.

If he only has it at night, then what's the problem? Would you take his teddy away if he liked to go to sleep chewing its ear?

Jjust as children eventually rely less and less on their teddy to help them settle to sleep, your ds will give up the dummy when he's ready. Fingers are much harder to 'give up', and, because they are constantly available, will creep into daytime soothing as well.

If it ain't broke - don't fix it!

I was expecting to get flames for not having got rid of the dummy earlier, not for trying to get rid of it!!!

We have done the phasing thing, so he is only allowed the dummy at night. I might just leave it at that for the moment depending on what the dentist says.