Can anyone please help? 6months until referal at psychologist for 3 year old and cant wait - rituals

[appreciateit]

Hi,
I feel so worried about my daughter I just dont know where else to turn.
I have been to parenting classes, health visitors, the doctors and now have an appointment but it is at least 6 months away.

I feel so alone and worried about the situation I just dont know what the matter with her is.

She has always been a screamer bless her and each stage everyone says she will grow out of it, but so far no good.

She has two parts I suppose, the one which is when I say no to something = tantrum and I can kind of understand these as toddlers want their own way but the other is the ritual/ obsessions.

We lead our lives walking on egg shells incase she flips.

An example - she has got into a habit of stroking my foot to wake me up in the morning. However if I happen to be awake already she goes mad and wont start the day until i am back in bed pretending to be asleep.

If she starts something and something goes 'wrong' she has to go all the way back to the beginning.

She get so upset, distressed, angry. It goes on for ages.

I have tried everything.

Help?

ok

has she had hearing checked recently?

and, spooling back upthread, you said :

''so this morning when i said to her I am going downstairs let me know when you want me when she eventually calmed down she wanted me to go back to the start and get into her bed.''

what did you do?

HI there I dont have any direct experience of these issues, but I just wanted to post to say that what you have described is very familiar to me from a friend of mine's little boy. As a 3/4 year old he was very, very similar - rituals, starting again if things went wrong, massive tantrums, I remember one time when we were out he screamed for 2 hours and had to be physically restrained from battering his mother (aged 4) because a cake she gave him broke in half before he got to eat it. He was, and still is, incredibly strong-willed. I too noticed that he was always much worse with his parents and much more difficult when tired. However, once he started school and as he got older he really did seem to grow out of it and you only see occasional flashes now when he is tired. He is generally a fun, friendly, bright boy, aged 8 and is doing really well at school.

I only posted this because I remember his mum worrying exactly as you are OP. Of course you are doing the right thing getting her assessed in case there is a specific issue, but it is also possible that things will improve naturally as she matures. You are at the most difficult age with any child, imo, 3, when they are desperate to get their own way and be independent but dont have the maturity to communicate it effectively. And you have a new baby to boot. I hope things gradually improve and that you can get a referral more quickly so you can move forward.

Her hearing is fine, we talk lots to each other and her speach is great too. She is a very bright little girl.

I had to leave her to scream it out on that occasion until she started calling mummy mummy, that is my cu to go to her. I then say breathe in and breathe out and she calms down on my lap..