how to teach 3.5yr DS to respect personal space

[kiwidreamer]

... and boundaries and generally not to lean/push/grind head on/wrestle on people / children. DS has always been a physical child and significantly larger than all his peers (wears 5-6yr clothes, 22kgs), and has had this tendency to be over-enthusiastic, its not malicious but its getting out of control now he is at preschool and he is interacting daily with all sorts of personalities.

It is horrible being the mother pulled to oneside after a session, he is a great boy in a lot of ways and the teachers try not to focus on this one aspect but I have this niggly yuck fear that there is a tendancy toward bullying if we dont sort this soon. Plus I can see him being 'labelled' already by parents/teachers.

Star charts havent really worked and neither does Time Out tho I do persist with both. We go over and over 'preschool rules' with him but it makes no difference.

Any tips/experiences??

Iam wondering about asking the teachers to do Time Out whenever it happens at preschool and giving him special tokens (i can provide) at the end of each session with incidents, 5 tokens will equal something of high value to him. No idea if the teachers will help tho.

That is a problem isn't it because he isn't meaning to be malicious. My daughters school has a 'hands, feet, objects' rule which she understands. It means we don't use these to touch people or get in their face. There must be some other things that schools use as well.

Are you VERY strict at home about listening, personal space and physical behaviour. When I mean very strict I mean consistent in telling him not to. He also might not understand HOW to communicate in a non physical way so talk to him about what he should have done in that scenario (you might need to physically show him as well as talk him through it).

I like the fact that you are thinking about how to work with the teachers and preschool to improve it; if they are any good they will jump at your idea or have some ideas of their own.