Would this happen in your house?

[charliecat]

Before Xmas dd (8) wrapped up 5 little pressies, one for each of her friends, all the same, individually wrapped and named and took them to school.
Nothing more was said.
We have just found one behind a unit.
She didnt say a word.
I asked her if she knew that A hadnt got her pressie, Yes she said, Why didnt you tell me, Dont Know she said.

Is that normal?

There was also an incident where the headmaster pulled her out of class to ask her where her raffle ticket money was (it wasnt in the envelope)
It wasnt until weeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkksssss later that I said Has your headmaster ever spoke to you that she said Yes and she then told me why.
Unless you ask the specific question she tells me F* All.

Very Frustrating.
Anyway, is it the norm or not please?!

Ds is too little for me to have experience of this as a parent. But I can remember not being able to explain things to my parents in a way they could understand.. maybe that's why your dd hasn't said anything? She doesn't know the right words to use, or the concepts she needs to get whatever is going on out of her head and into yours? No idea how you deal with it, though, just thought it might be vaguely helpful to know you may not be the only person in the world this happens to!

Was she scared she'd be in trouble, do you think?

Dd2 (aged 7) doesn't tell us things that happened for which she thinks she might get into trouble - I think it's fairly normal for her age.

Are you more worried about the not telling or the hiding the present/money?

My DS1 (aged nearly 5) is like this, he doesn't tell us anything ie if he's done something naughty and i ask him why he's done it, he says he doesn't know. He won't tell us anything about what he's done at school, even if we ask him about specific things, he either says he can't remember or he doesn't want to tell us. I agree, very frustrating.

Sorry I don't have any advice, just wanted you to know you're not alone.

Generally, I think they act like this if they are covering up something painful to them that they are fearful of sharing.

My DS(5) had stashed a christmas card to one of his best friends in his room, I found it and asked him about it only for him to be quite unwilling to tell me why. It turned out that his friend had refused to take the card from him (god knows why) and DS was actually very upset about it - bless

Is it possible that someone bullied your DD into giving them the raffle money - so that;s why she didn;t tell you she'd been in trouble?

And thinking about it - why are children not entitled to have some thoughts, events etc that they do not share?

They are individuals with their own thoughts and sense of self - why do they need to share everything with adults?

Glad to hear its not just me maddison.
Soapbox dd does tell us anything unless asked the specific question relating to it. And given thats shes at school for 6 hours a day through the weeks theres a a lot of things going on in her little life that I have no idea about because unless I actually said Did Kevin Punch You..she wouldnt tell me, and how on earth am I meant to know that theres even a Kevin in her class unless she tells me...
Think that should make it a little easier to understand.
I would have liked to have known about the headmaster talking to her in case it was someone talking the money off her or whatever...because if it had of been I still wouldnt have known until weeks later when I out of the blue asked about the headmaster.
Today I asked if anything exciting or surprising had happened at school or anything boring or had a space man landed in her classroom. No she said with a laugh..