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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Is this normal for a 3 year old?

14 replies

washngo · 11/11/2011 22:21

I'm finding my 3y3m ds v difficult to deal with at the moment. He still has screaming crying wobblies if something is not to his exact liking, every little thing I ask him to do results in whinging or crying. He repeatedly pushes his little sister over then sits on her to squash her. I think a lot of his behavior is attention related so I'm trying to give him more 1-1 time. He is lovely a lot of the time, and this behaviour is much more prevalent at or near bed time or if he is hungry.

I wouldn't be too worried by it as I see it as fairly typical behaviour, except that of the friends I've voiced my concerns to , all have replied along the lines of "oh well I've not ever had to tackle that kind of behaviour so i don't have much advice". My mum also responds with a sort of "oh dear why is he so difficult?" type of comment. All I really want is for someone to tell ke my little boy is perfectly normal!

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NoNoNoMYDoIt · 11/11/2011 22:22

sounds normal to me. my 5 yr old still does exactly what you describe...

MrTumblesBum · 11/11/2011 22:24

My DD is 3.2 and is exactly as you describe if she is in anyway tired. And for her, being tired means having had less than 14 hours sleep, grrr. So she is like this a lot!

Well, the whingeing, crying, wobblies,refusing to do anything I ask her.

Although pre school say she is an adorable angel who does everthing the ask

She doesn't sit on her sister, but she will quite happily give her a shove if she dares to cross her.

More wine?

MrTumblesBum · 11/11/2011 22:24

Actually, I lie, DD1 is not 3.2 she turned 3.3 today!

stripeywoollenhat · 11/11/2011 22:26

i think this sounds pretty normal. dd is 2.10, and gets like this when tired/hungry, and sometimes when she wants attention. they're toddlers, it'll pass (i'm told)

EightiesChick · 11/11/2011 22:27

Sounds in the normal range to me too. He's only 3! Mums do tend to generalise episodes of difficult behaviour as much more significant. The fact it happens more at bedtime or when hungry chimes with what I see happen with my DS too.

tigerlillyd02 · 11/11/2011 22:28

Your friends must have short memories. I'm fairly sure all children go through a difficult phase (or 2 or 3 or 4...) in their early years.

It looks like you've recognised his problem and trying to resolve it by giving him more of your undivided attention. See how this pans out.

As for the crying / whinging - my 6 yr old niece can beat any baby / toddler hands down. I'm not kidding! For a 3 year old to still being stropping, I would think its very normal. How do you handle it? Do you manage to calm the situation when they occur?

2ddornot2dd · 11/11/2011 22:33

My daughter is just like that, and has been for a year - I think it's all to do with jealousy.

Tgger · 11/11/2011 22:38

Very normal. Especially when there is a younger sibling. Your boy sounds very like my boy and his friends who all had younger siblings at this age. The good news is that they all came out the other side and now play very nicely (on a good day) with said sibling.

Original poster

washngo · 11/11/2011 22:40

Oh thank you all for those messages, feel a lot better now! MrTumblesbum - funny you should say that about preschool, I've had the exact same thing. I pick him up, they say how lovely he's been, two minutes down the road on the way home and lovely is not the word I'd use! Trying to go overboard on the positive reinforcement with huge amounts of praise for being good. I can usually calm him down but I worry that I end up feedig the tantrum habit by giving him attention.

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Original poster

washngo · 11/11/2011 22:43

2dd I agree about the jealousy thing. I also think that sometimes when they are so little they can't really understand what emotion they feel or recognise it as jealousy, and so they just feel sort of overwhelmed and angry and frustrated all at once.

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SummerLightning · 11/11/2011 23:12

My son has a doppelgänger! If anything his screeching about things is getting worse and he's always squashing his sister. He's 2.11 and I thought it was normal!

Original poster

washngo · 12/11/2011 08:25

Thanks summerlightning - I'm hoping there is some sort of magical shut off date for the awkwardness (my hopes that it would b 3yo tuned out to be dashed!).

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beepbeep · 12/11/2011 08:36

glad I read this thread, I have 3 DCs, with a DS in the middle, he is 3.5 and drives me insane with his wingeing and crying over any little thing that doesn't go his way. He can play really nicely with his sisters (2 & 4 yrs) or he can screech whenever they so much as look at him. Didn't have the same issues with DD1 so had put it down to a 'boy thing'. He is so much worse when he's tired.

perceptionreality · 12/11/2011 08:44

It sounds normal to me too, and yes in our household the witching hour was always that window when you need to prepare dinner - bedtime.

I do sympathise - young children can be really exhausting. Until a couple of weeks ago I was struggling with dd3 (2 and a half) - I posted on here about it (was at the end of my tether!) The last 2 weeks or so she's really settled down and I notice that her language has increased at the same time so maybe she feels less frustrated. If it's jealousy then probably he won't be able to put into words how he feels yet because jealousy is quite an abstract emotion and is maybe more frustrated as a result?

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