Where has my sweet baby girl gone?!!!

[Annie421]

My little girl is 14 months old and has turned into a complete monster!! She has become quite aggressive and makes growling noises when she doesn't get what she wants ( she isn't saying any words yet), she has also started to attack me, ie, pulls my hair, bites me, hits me .... this can be at any time, even when I try to love her, the most embarrasing thing was today, my sister put her arms out to love her and my baby slapped her round the face!!! My little girl never sees anyone being aggressive, i do not slap her - why has she become so aggressive?! She is also very very willful, if she wants something then she is determined to get it, ie, she will touch the plug socket i will tell her no, move her away and she will go back to it over and over again, i never let her get her own way but it feels like a constant battle!!!

It is so tough when they get like this!

It might not sound helpful to say it, but this is a phase and she will get through it! It sounds like she's frustrated and struggling to communicate, especially as you say she doesn't use words yet. As her communication develops, she will probably calm down.

Have you tried baby signing with her?

Thanks for the advice, tried signing but she was having none of it ... i just get slaps in return ... i cant understand how a 14 month old knows how to physically hurt someone when she has never been hurt!!

Babies learn v quick how to get a reaction, she hits out and she gets attention. i would place her on the floor and ignore her for a few mins everytime she hits out.
It does sound like she is frustrated trying to speak, after a min or two say to her in a soothing voice what are you trying to say? and try to work out what she wants.
She doesnt really understand she is hurting you just that when she does that she gets a reaction the lashing out is just a phase its very common in children this age but needs to discouraged but dont make to much fuss just put her down /move her away and no attention. it will soon pass. Then the terrible twos will begin

I agree with previous posts. She won't understand at this age that it hurts. She'll just be enjoying seeing your shocked, upset reaction and look of disbelief :)

I also think the best way to deal with it would be to not react at all and place her down away from you each time for a couple of minutes. Then I'm sure it'll get boring - I'd be bored anyway :D

I too think she'll get better once she commuicates better (she'll probably start any time now). Life completely changed once my ds started talking! It cut out the majority of tantrums and frustration.

sometimes you have to pick your fights. when you say 'i never let her get her own way' - do you mean about anything? as they get bigger, you realise you can't discipline every single misdemeanour. obviously the dangerous ones (fingers in sockets), not holding your hand while crossing a road etc - yes. but the minor ones - well, sometimes you just have to ignore...

it's more to save your own sanity than anything else really; and it also helps them to realise that they don't get a rise out of everything they do.

sometimes they go back to something (like the sockets) time and again, just to get your attention. so what i do in that situation is distract. start doing something else instead - don't make a big thing out of the sockets, but instead find a toy, or play peekaboo for a couple of minutes until they have forgotten their wilful obsession with the socket.

i disciplined biting - very firmly indeed. but when they spat at me - well, i walked away and ignored it (mainly because i would probably have exploded in their faces i hadn't!!). i now also ignore any misdemeanours that i don't actually witness (unless there is evidence such as blood / missing hair etc). but then DCs are 5 and 2, so there is a lot of tittle-tattling that goes on.

at that age tho, if they bit me, i put them down, unceremoniously, said 'no. you do not bite mummy' and then walked away. if the rage continued, i moved them away from any object which was likely to harm them and then tried distraction. at 14 months, she is too young for time-out; you just need to ensure that she doesn't get any form of 'reward' (negative or positive) from her wilful behaviour, so she doesn't learn that it is a way of getting attention.

It is normal, she now knows that she is separate from you, and she has a will of her own.

Well worth bearing in mind also that socket holes are actually too small to get even a newborn finger into. Check out this site for reassurance: www.fatallyflawed.org. Pick your battles - it'll be good practice for the next couple of years.

Hitting, biting, kicking and so on are all normal human things to do - just like chewing, walking and so on. You wouldn't expect her not to know how to swallow simply because she'd never witnessed someone doing it. Start saying 'No hitting, hitting hurts' and put her down and walk away. Don't reward her with shock or attention of any kind. Simply sound bored and neutral.

I heard the 'terrible twos' actually refer to the second year of a child's life ie 12 months onwards.

Ds also hits and kicks just because he's worked out how to. Mind you he was always a bit of a handful in various ways but I can see it might be a shock if you've had an angelic babyhood.

I agree, tell them it hurts, you don't like it and let her get her own way some times. Can you imagine how frustrating it would be to suddenly have all this ability to investigate and not be allowed to do anything you really wanted.

If I'm right there supervising him closely I let ds touch the plug socket so he realises its nothing exciting. As long as they are not damaged they are pretty safe nowadays.