Well my dc is SMART so THEY need to go to a GOOD school!!! . . .

[WhoseGotMyEyebrows]

Just had my friend on the phone and this is what she said. Does this sort of comment annoy anyone else? I see all children of being in need of good schools equally, not just the smart one's (in their parents opinions ).

I would say my not-very-smart ds needs a good school at least as much as my very smart dd: much harder for him to make up for any short-comings. BUt of course I want them both to have a good educational experience, not the one to the exclusion of the other, or my dcs to the exclusion of somebody else's.

Yes, this annoys me. I have a neighbour who has just sent her DD to the local private (and therefore better, natch) because the excellent local nursery (state, natch) that all of the local children, including mine, attend just wasn't giving her what she needed developmentally (as she is very bright for her age, natch).

oh I am so with you OP.

This isn't the sort of thing I'd say to my friends on the phone however if your friend has a smart child then she has a point.

Myself and my three brothers went to a poor school in a poor area. My brothers all had a very positive experience of school. The eldest was very average and the younger two required learning support. I however was a long way ahead of the top group and completely unsupported, apart from by one dedicated teacher (thank you Mr M!) who taught me GSCE maths aged 9.

It was a very isolating experience for me, especially as our parents had no interest in our education. I would have far preferred to go to school over the nicer side of town with kids of similar ability.

I have worked hard to ensure my daughter goes to a good school in a nice area but certainly wouldn't bang on about it to anybody in real life, especially my friends!

What is a good school? One with the best OFSTED and the highest GCSE and A Level pass rate in the country? Or is a good school different depending on the needs of the child?

Yes, I want a good school for my ds, I want one that will stretch his abilities as well as support his pastoral needs. But I can guarantee it wouldn't be the one with the best OFSTED/highest pass rate. Why? Because my son has learning difficulties. He needs a school which is going to help him get the grades he can, not make him feel like a failure because he isnt A* material. A school which recognises and caters for his differences, not one that will label him naughty or lazy.

So yes, your friend is right that all children need to go to a good school, what she is failing to realise is that a good school for one child is not a good school for another, because different schools (rightly or wrongly) are better at helping different types and personalities of students. Of course, what your friend meant was feels her child deserves to go to a highly academic school, probably a grammar. All I can say is I hope her child doesnt start struggling in future.

I know what you mean OP. I hate it when people suggest that their child is somehow brighter/ more sensitive (generally a cut above) my state school child.

I also hate it when you meet someone who has chosen to get into stupid amounts of debt to send their child to private school/ mortgage to the moon and back for good state and somehow think they are more virtuous than the rest of us.

What really pisses me off is the offhand attitude of some private school parents who think that state school parents don't care about their children's education.

My ds is ahead of where he should be at the moment. He has just turned 2. At this age, there's every chance they can have a delay and drop back some and be average by the time they start school. You just never know.

Regardless of where he is academically though, I only want the best schooling for him and something matching his needs when he's of that age (state school!). I'm sure most parents do. Some may have to take into consideration other factors such as transport etc but choose the best school according to their circumstances, I'm sure?

I also think it's hard to know at age 3/4 how well they will do in school (unless it's evident they're a child genius!). They could be bright, and then fall behind. Or they might not be so bright and then excel. I think it should be judged more on emotional needs to begin with.

By the time they reach secondary school you'd have a much better idea of how well they're doing academically and then make an informed choice again based on which school will suit their academic needs.

I hate the state/private divide in U.K. It's so entrenched I'm not sure how we can change it though. Especially as I am pro choice generally.

Not only annoying, but daft. Surely the less bright kids need a good school more

(of course, all children should have a good school, but if you're starting at a disadvantage, you're going to need more help)

Smart children need good schools so that they continue to be engaged and challenged and don't coast their way through education.

Children who are less academic need good schools that have creative ways of helping them learn and decent resources to offer extra help, one-to-one sessions or whatever is needed.

Children of average ability need good schools that don't forget about them because they are so busy focussing on the other two groups.

Children that are brilliant at sports, music, art, drama or whatever need good schools that will nurture their talents.

Eccentric, off the wall children need good schools that treat them as individuals and don't pigeon-hole them as "awkward".

I sure am glad I'm not in charge of trying to work out how on earth it can be done, though!

Every DC needs a good school.

AChickencalledKorma That was good!

I had a dreaded thought while reading it though - imagine having a particular school suited to each 'type' of child? Now that would cause some animosity amongst parents!

The new inspector of Ofsted has it right I think when he said something along the lines of "too many schools are just coasting". This includes those in green leafy middle class areas that could be much better. I think the whole private/state divide is a big part of the problem. Don't know how it can be solved though....

BTW, the child is 2 and seems average. Lovely but average. (whispers PFB!)

tbh I would perhaps at one stage have said that dd particularly needs a good school

if you are disabled it is inevitable that you will be asking that little bit more of the school and you will notice things about them that other people won't

when I speak of dd's former school to local parents I find they divide into two groups: the majority who think it was a very good school and a minority who say they couldn't wait to get their children out of there

the majority are the ones with healthy children

it was a good school until you asked anything the slightest bit out of the ordinary

We actually ended up having a bit of an argument about it as she insisted that average or below average children can just get by at any old school, whereas her "clever" child needs special attention and nurturing!

Wouldn't "average or below average" be even in more need of a good school, logically?? All children deserve to have a good school. And yes, stupid comment from a mum of a 2 yr old anyway, how do they even know how the child will be when they are at school.

Mine are a bit thick so I sent them to the school down the road

Cory-you're so right. Some schools are outstanding at dealing with a narrow range of children. Unfortunately they also seem adept at making those who are outside the box feel unwelcome or not meeting their needs so that they are "constructively dismissed". The classic is telling parents, often apologetically that they are rubbish with sen. I know it happens-we were the alternative school suggested. It makes me cross-they end up with roughly the same budget, give or take a bit of statement money, with fewer bread and butter things to spend it on. The thing is, what parent can guarantee their child won't have sen of one kind or another? I feel safer with dd in a school where diversity is genuinely embraced even if there's a bit less money to share around.

Smart? When did we start saying smart instead of clever?

If your friend seriously believes that "average or below average children can just get by at any old school" then I would be forced to offer the opinion that she is, herself, somewhat "average or below average" ... on account of the total lack of analytical thought that has obviously gone into that opinion!

Don't all children need a good school? you don't here people say,'my son is a bit thick so we will send him to the shit school at the rough end of town' .

My dd1 is bright, she goes to a ok school but i feel she would be bright and do well in most schools, she may be pushed slightly more in a private school but would probably be unhappy.

Totally agree with all those who point out that different children are suited to different schools.

The biggest obstacle to children learning is discipline. A good read on this is an autobiographical one by Frank Chalk (not his real name) called "It's your time you're wasting" in which he relates stories from his time as a teacher. At times heart rending and at times frightening. Available on Kindle for £1.71.

A small number of kids with problems at home can ruin the education of most in their class. IMO that's the main reason why some schools get poor results (as they are in a socially deprived area) and others better. It's nothing to do with the innate ability of the kids. I don't know how to fix that without declaring myself supreme ruler and making this country a totalitarian dictatorship.

If a 'friend' made that statement to me about a 2 year old they would swiftly become an ex-friend!