Breaking my DS spirit :(

[knittynoodle]

My DS is only 1, and Im being very PFB about this I know but...

He is a very sociable boy. He goes over smiling to any one he see's, tries to strike up baby conversation, generally he loves company. However because of this, he faces alot of rejection. Naturally not all children want to talk/play with him and neither do adults. I do understand that its the way of the world. But my heart breaks everytime I see him being ignored and I think, eventually will his spirit break and he'll end up as grumpy as I am!

Today he was bitten by one girl (only 2, not her fault) and sat on (on purpose) by a six year old at soft play who was befriending him so that he could take his toys/poke him/sit on his legs to stop him moving. All DS wanted was to play along with this boy :(

I dont know what Im asking really, I just want someone to tell me to get over it!

My little boy is 3.5 and is very chatty and sociable and always has been. Most of the children and people he approaches are lovely to him but some children are just darn horrible to him. They tell him to stop following them when he is trotting after them trying to make friends or they shout Go Away at him. It breaks my heart but am glad to say it hasn't perturbed him. I just say some people aren't very nice and don't want to make friends but it shouldn't stop him trying. If he gets hurt when he is older keep his spirits up and as he is so young he probably doesn't notice it too much! He sounds lovely.

His spirit won't get broken by things like that...it'll just get stronger! Your job is to comiserate when it goes wrong and encourage him to carry on.

He is who he is...at he moment. They do change...but if normal social interaction was capable of breaking babies spirits, then we'd have a world full of zombie-kids by now! ALL friendly babies would be broken by normal socialisation!

He'll be fine.

Stay, thanks so much for that response. It has helped. I really feel for you and your DS, its so hard when you see them rejected when you know that all they want is to play for awhile.

My little one is the same (turned 2 last week) and gets ignored by many! Mind you, he does think he should be centre of attention and all ladies, especially should coo over him. If they don't it's "Hello, alright?" over and over until they answer him.

I call him back over to me if I can see someone isn't going to acknowledge him without any fuss so he isn't aware. I'm always on his tail at play areas etc so kids don't get a chance to pick (I braved moving away from him once and some 4-5 yr old lad had him by the throat dragging him and then kicked him). It doesn't seem to stop him though, he tries everywhere we go regardless.

Even my nieces are the same towards him... he wants to play and they comment "stop following me" and push him and constantly whine. Perhaps that's what they do at 4-6 yrs... we may have it to come! :)

My DS is now 6, and has always been the same. Some kids are rude and mean, most are fine, adults think he is cute and my mother thinks somebody will drag him away and kidnap him because he is too friendly.

But he is fine, people generally like him and he has lots of friends. He has been quite philosophical about the fact that some people are rude and ignore him and even at 2 or 3, he would come up to me and say: that kid is rude, isn't he, and I would agree and suggest he go and play with somebody else.

Also, TBH, some kids do not like playing with younger kids - my DS is the same, and I just try and remind him about how he did not like it when bigger kids did not want to play with him.... It helps.

You're projecting I think? some feelings about your childhood? Some experience of rejection? A one-year old won't have those feelings you know.

It's hard to see your child upset when another child whacks/bites them, hopefully it won't happen too often! I wouldn't worry about it breaking his spirit though, he will get over it.

Be aware though that some children really dislike being followed around/harassed by other children. 3yr old DD has always disliked other children being 'in your face' with her, and gets upset if they try to follow her around/chase her/forcefully play with her. In the same way that I encourage her to play nicely, I also tell other children 'no, DD doesn't want to play with you/doesn't want you to follow her' and suggest something else they could do instead. I don't think it's rude for a child to ask another child to stop following them, why should a child have to play with someone else if they don't want to? NB I am not saying it's ok to hit/push another child (and especially a 1 year old, in that case I would expect the parent to divert them, or divert them myself depending on the situation).

it's about your feelings not your child's - he's 1 he has the memory of a guppy

take it from a mother of 4 - it's no biggie

Ds loves waving but mainly at animals so rarely gets a wave back. I feel sad for him at times but honestly I do agree with lingle and activate that its more about my fear of rejection than any actual effect it has on him.

Gosh, never occurred to me that they might mind no one waving back!! We wave at all kinds of things - diggers, buses etc. - 'wave goodbye' is my best way to get us going again if we're out on a walk. And clearly the bus/digger/gate doesn't ever actually respond!