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Original poster

Unchallenged at playschool????

32 replies

nonickno · 10/11/2011 20:43

If your ds 4.1 was in tears and often sad because he didn't want to go to play school because he "knows the answer to everything and is bored" - would you move him? One of of his teachers has said to me that he isn't allowed to answer qs in circle time as he always knows the answer quicker than anyone else - they ask him to whisper in their ear????

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workshy · 10/11/2011 20:46

is this a voluntary toddler group or a nursery?

seems a bit odd well alot odd actually

even if he does know the answer quicker he should still be encouraged to take his turn

Original poster
nonickno · 10/11/2011 20:49

Nursery/preschool

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thisisyesterday · 10/11/2011 20:50

if he really doesn't enjoy it then i would take him out, or move him.

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 10/11/2011 20:53

Well I don't really think preschool is the place for being challenged tbh- I send DD to preschool for her to have fun, make friends, learn social skills etc. What kind of questions do they ask in circle time? How is he with the other activities they do, does he enjoy it?

I guess at 4.1 he is one of the oldest in the group so maybe that's why. If you think he's unhappy then maybe move him, but I wouldn't do it because he's not 'challenged'.

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 10/11/2011 20:53

Well I don't really think preschool is the place for being challenged tbh- I send DD to preschool for her to have fun, make friends, learn social skills etc. What kind of questions do they ask in circle time? How is he with the other activities they do, does he enjoy it?

I guess at 4.1 he is one of the oldest in the group so maybe that's why. If you think he's unhappy then maybe move him, but I wouldn't do it because he's not 'challenged'.

joanofarchitrave · 10/11/2011 20:53

I would ask to go and spend the day there as a volunteer, and would be looking around for other options.

Getting the one who always knows the answer to whisper sometimes sounds like quite a good strategy - so he can still get to answer but someone else gets a turn too?

madwomanintheattic · 10/11/2011 20:57

it's not about how much he knows. it's about turn taking.

the staff are letting him share how much he knows (with the bizarre whspering thing) but he doesn't like letting other children have a turn to answer?

it isn't a bored thing, or a challenged thing. Grin it's a 'learning the ropes of how school works' thing. Grin

it isn't a great deal of fun to sit nicely and let everyone have a go, but if you're intending on putting him in school with 29 other kids who need a turn, it's an important skill for him develop.

i speak as someone with a ds who nursery tried to get the lea to fast track btw. they refused to even assess him as he was too young. so there's v little chance of him being recognised as a child genius and moved to a more superior setting. Grin

madwomanintheattic · 10/11/2011 20:58

he's there to play anyway. circle time and fomal questioning must take.... oooo, about ten minutes out a 3 hour session?

Original poster
nonickno · 10/11/2011 20:59

Can't believe how oversubscribed good playschools are, doesn't look like I can move him (his ds 2.8 would have to move too). Thought it was just primary school entry that was a nightmare!!!
This playgroup is really highly praised and the ladies there are really nice and they have taught him loads, better go in and have a word....

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HavePatience · 10/11/2011 21:04

Have a word about what? Preschool is mostly play. The "questions" will be for a very small portion of that time. You can " challenge" him at home (if necessary) and let him learn social skills at preschool.

HavePatience · 10/11/2011 21:04

Sorry for inverted comma abuse

HavePatience · 10/11/2011 21:05

*misuse! Not abuse! I'll shut up now

MerryMarigold · 10/11/2011 21:12

Why is he not in school nursery? I am not surprised he is bored if he has been at the same place for, what, 2 years? Also most of the kids must be younger than him and I guess they have to pitch it at a level which all the kids can engage with. I think the whispering idea is great. It's not fair that he should always get to answer just because he is older/ knows the answer.

I think you need to move him and not expect them to change anything at all. They sound brilliant.

Haberdashery · 10/11/2011 21:17

I agree with everyone else. DD was pretty 'unchallenged' at preschool in terms of learning anything about academic stuff but it didn't matter because she had TONS to learn about sitting still, being quiet when asked to, taking turns, sharing, being kind, being friendly, letting other people have a say, being fair etc. And she was never a badly behaved child as such, just like all three and four year olds are and focused like a laser on doing what she wanted to do! Now, in Reception, it has really paid dividends because not only does she know all the academic stuff she'd picked up at home but she is also really nicely behaved and winning lots of praise for kindness and paying attention well and has really taken all the social lessons she learnt at preschool to heart. She is very popular, even with the children who find it harder to sit still and concentrate - she has learnt the art of how to make friends which is maybe the most important thing you can learn in your whole life. Sorry, this totally is NOT bragging (well, it kind of is, but not intended to annoy). I'm just saying that if your DS has the academic/thinking side down pat, then he will be able to concentrate on the other (just as important) stuff which will only benefit him in the long run. The social side is just as important at this age and even into the early years of school, IMO.

Is he really bored, btw, or just bored of not being able to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it? If it is actually boring, then move him by all means. But since most of preschool is play, I would imagine that if he is bored it's because he needs to concentrate more on playing with others and working out how to make friends etc. A good friend to do things with can make almost any activity interesting at this age.

Tgger · 10/11/2011 21:20

Hmmmmmmmm, seems odd to be in tears due to boredom over as others say 10 mins tops of circle time- maybe up to 20 if they go slow? Is the free play not stimulating, re covering topics, getting them to follow their own interests etc etc.

Has he been in the same preschool for yonks (ie since 2.5 maybe) and perhaps is bored then if the environment is directed somewhere in the middle of the age range and has to include the younger ones? My friends found this with their 4 year olds when they stayed at the same pre-school from 2.5. I was lucky that DS started the school nursery at 3.11 (October birthday) and this was a fantastic environment for him, plenty of stimulation, space and also great for social development.

I should think it would be hard to move him now, but if there are any really good places that you think he would be happier at for the next year then I would put his name down on a waiting list etc. In the meantime you could reduce his time there and find some other stimulating activites for him if you have time for that.

Original poster
nonickno · 10/11/2011 21:22

I agree with you both. I wouldn't want him labelled as anything and yes, the whispering in ear thing is a good idea, I see that now (ds has never complained about this it was me thinking it was weird), I just don't like to see him so sad. Will stay for a while and observe.

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mrsbaffled · 10/11/2011 21:24

I thought preschool was for play and social education....? I don't my DSs have ever done anything 'academic' at preschool.

Original poster
nonickno · 10/11/2011 21:33

Sorry, he's not bored over circle time, I can see that they handle him well. He's just not finding stuff interesting and I know his little friend doesn't want to play with him so much any more which he's finding hard. He certainly could do with concentrating on playing with others and making friends but I guess he's finding it hard. Apparently (according to another teacher) he's having a hormone surge that boys usually get when they are a bit older than 4 Could be why he isn't loving things at the mo....? Thank you

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Haberdashery · 10/11/2011 21:36

Good preschool play is academic, though, in the sense that it's giving children skills to build on to make sense of more obviously academic stuff later on. Maybe it was a bad word to choose. I mean that for instance, pouring cups of water into a little jug and a big jug and noticing that it takes more or fewer cups to make the jug overflow is learning about quantities and the concept of number in a very early way. Or learning to recognise your own name on the peg where you hang your coat will be hopefully sparking an interest in the written word and its uses. Or playing games about rhyming (eg at my daughter's preschool they rhymed their names with nonsense words - Oliver Boliver, Sarah Marah etc) will be teaching them to listen to sounds in words which is a pre-reading skill. That kind of thing. I don't mean sitting down and learning stuff by rote.

Original poster
nonickno · 10/11/2011 21:37

Tgger Yes he has been there since 2.5yo and wishes he was at big school with the other children

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Tgger · 10/11/2011 21:47

Ah, he's bored. It's hard to see it coming, as they change rapidly and what can be fine, can then not be fine.

Have a good look round different places, and don't worry about him settling, they are quick (well my DS was) to settle at this age. Go by your intincts and move him asap so he gets longer there- maybe after christmas?

I was very chuffed that my DS started school nursery at 3.11, was just right for him. I think the preschool that was excellent for him up to this point would have lost it's allure, I did a day there myself and found the older kids were looking for stimulation from me as was all a bit geared to the younger ones.

It's not really a question of academic learning as others have said, but kids need stimulation and will be unhappy if they aren't getting it. Look at all options that you might not have considered- montessori/day nursery/etc etc as the right environment for him may come in a different guise!

Good luck!

madwomanintheattic · 10/11/2011 21:49

ah. so has little ds just started at the same setting? so big bro might think he's stuck with the babies whilst the big kids go to school? have some of his friends from last yr moved up to yr r?

Original poster
nonickno · 10/11/2011 23:03

Yes some of his friends/ those he used to play with are now at big school and he doesn't understand why he can't go. He's taller than them etc

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MerryMarigold · 11/11/2011 14:01

Is there no school nursery around? It doesn't have to be the school he will go to (though it does help) if his school doesn't have a nursery. Other schools are willing to take kids out of catchment if they have spaces.

Tgger · 11/11/2011 16:18

Yeah, that could be the answer if you can face dropping off at 2 different places. Phone around the schools that have nursery classes, find a space and bingo! Don't worry about it not being the school reception he will go to, they settle into reception easily enough.