how to help ds when having friends over?

[DestinationUnknown]

ds is 4.5, started in YR this Sept and very keen to have friends back after school for play & tea. BUT when they get here he won't play anything they want to, and keeps coming to me for cuddles and asking me to play with him!

I know it's frustrating that guests clearly revel in a new house with new (to them) toys and so get involved with something that ds has played with a million times, but it is v frustrating for me to have ds clinging to me and leaving his poor friend sitting alone, though usually it has to be said playing quite happily!

However I suspect that our guests will not necessarily be keen to invite ds back as he gets tearful when I ask him to go and play with his friend (who HE nagged insistently asked me to invite!)

I am now thinking I may not let him ask anyone else for a bit - just too much when school is still so new perhaps? But feel mean as once he warms up he's lovely and sociable and fun to play with.

I found that baking, cooking tea together works well. My dd was like this and first time we made little cakes. I gave them bowl each. Next time they did it together etc...

Natural I think, my DD is very sociable but finds that hard too..

We also find playdates tricky. Different reasons, dd becomes very possessive and doesn't want to share. But I use structured activities to help too-drawing, Hama beads, playdough, cooking, painting. All with two sets of stuff, one on either side me! Then I'm very tough when dd is then sharing toys for brief periods and at the moment bedroom out of bounds. Playdates are tricky-whatever their thing is its ten times worse in the two hours after school. If I possibly can I make the playdates short and sweet and ideally go to the park or play in the garden.

Also, I think playdates are a conflict between what they need and want. Dd needs calm and quiet but wants company.

Thanks all v helpful especially thinking about needs vs wants!