almost 5yo still lashes out, kicks, punches and tries to bite me. It's not normal is it?...

[meglet]

When my 4.11yo loses his temper he really loses it at me .

Today was a grim start as he ran off and wouldn't walk to school then when I managed to get him walking he was trying to hit and bite me for the next 10 mins. He does get told off (although I ignored him on the way to school as I was nearly at crying point and had to calm down for work) but I'm not going to smack him as I suspect he'd just hit me back harder.

Most reception age kids (or boys) aren't this much of a handful are they?

He's nice to everyone else BTW .

Hello meglet.
If it's any consolation, mine is like this... i keep thinking it's not normal. I can't even say it's a phase anymore.. because he has always been like it. I think from when his little sister was born (he was only 18 months).
He only does it to me and her. Biting / head butting / jumping on her etc
It is mainly when he is tired though. I don't think he would do it ON the way to school. But would on the way back.
You are not alone. Hope this helps a little bit.
I don't have any answers sorry. I can't control him yet, but if i find a way, I will let you know!
He is really good at school and doing really well! So that's one thing!

ah, thank you .

I do cling on to the fact that DS is fine in public, his tantrum stopped when he saw his school friends en route . And, yes, he does bash his younger sister sometimes which I am desperately trying to stop. But she did bite him first the other day .

My DS still does this too (he's 5 in feb)

No advice, sorry, but plenty of sympathy!

Sympathy seems the wrong word.

Empathy?

I know boys who are 6yrs old and still occasionally hit out to their mums and loose it. Unfortunately, I don't think it's so uncommon, just really hard to deal with.

My 4.3 yr old ds (who started reception in September) is incredibly up and down with his behaviour and emotions.

I might speak to the lady at school who can help with things like this, she's not a HV, can't remember what her job title is.

Our HV was about as good as a chocolate teapot. Her solution was time out for as long as it takes. 30 mins later DS would still be trying to kick the door down while I held it, he wasn't giving up. By that point his little sister would need my attention, or do something equally daft to secure attention and her own telling off, or I'd need the loo, have to go to work, etc.........

Thanks veggie, your empathy is appreciated. At least we're not on our own here.

clare up and down is the right word. This morning DS said "mummy, did you have a nice time at the gym last night?", he was so polite and adorable.

He's certainly not foul mouthed or unaware of the 'right' way to behave, which makes it all the more upsetting / stressfull when he does lose it.

I don't think his behaviour is abnormal, you just don't have a passive and laid-back child. I don't either - my ds is the classic spirited child I would say. I think 3-4 was the hardest time for us. He is now 8 and can still go into a meltdown, although it now happens very rarely. Mostly now we just get arguing and resisting and things are still a battle but he has learnt to control himself up to a point.

I think it's a combination of him maturing and us learning how to deal with him - picking battles, staying calm (mostly...), sticking to routine as far as possible so he knows what he is supposed to do, and being consistent with boundaries.

It is frustrating though, and I have many "why me" moments, e.g. when my dds get ready for school on their own and ds is arguing with me about every little thing he has to do.

It's reasurring if your ds fine at school and doing well. Although my ds' behaviour was always fine at school, he is now having problems concentrating and keeping up with school work, so we are now having to deal with that just as I feel his behaviour is improving...(sigh).